A Path Unknown
by Ayesha14
Summary: Christian Grey left Ana on the day of their wedding. A heartbroken Ana flees for New York vowing never to return again. Three Years later, circumstances have changed and Ana is offered her dream job. The downside, it means moving back to Seattle and working for none other than Christian Grey, the man who broke her heart.
1. Chapter 1

Her hands shook as she read the letter delivered to her by a stone-face Luke Sawyer. She knew something was wrong the moment she opened her hotel door but nothing could have prepared her for this heart wrenching letter. How could he do this to her? Especially now? She felt the warm tears flowing down her freshly made up face and the stares of her bridesmaids, mother and would be mother-in- law. She knew they were awaiting the explanation behind her tears, most likely believing that she had received a love letter from her beau. She could not find the words to say differently.

Kate, her best friend for as long as she could remember was the first to approach her. She simply had to look her best friend in the eye and her friend understand. She had been stood up. Her groom abandoned her. Kate pulled the tear soaked paper from her hand and turned to their audience. She put one arm around Anastasia Steele's shaking shoulders before reading in a surprisingly clear voice given the situation.

"_Dear Anastasia,_

_I hope that one day you can forgive me but I cannot go through with this. I am sorry to admit that I am no longer in love with you. I fear that I never truly loved you. I thank you for the past year that we spent together but I cannot go on lying to myself, or you anymore. Please forgive me and know that I did not mean to hurt you._

_Christian."_

There was a uniformed gasp among the women in the room. Ana was now on her knees crying, her sobs so heart-breaking, no one knew how to react. Mia, Christian Grey's sister was the first to react. She pushed passed Kate and got on her knees beside Ana. She pulled the sobbing, broken girl into her arms and allowed her to cry into her shoulder. The others were quick to follow. Carla and Grace, Ana and Christian's mother hugged the weeping girl while Kate stood by with tears streaming down her face. Seeing her friend so broken made her feel helpless. She didn't notice that Ana's CPO enter the room but even Luke had tears in his eyes upon watching his charge.

"I will fucking kill the bastard" said Kate to Luke who was trying in vain to pull himself together. Luke simply nodded. He had come to love Ana like a sister, as difficult as she was to protect, she deserved more than his boss ever gave her.

Grace, who parted from the women, looked upon them, pity shining in her eyes as she looked on at the sweet girl who she had come to love like a daughter.

"My dear boy may have made one of the biggest mistakes of his life," she mumbled to herself. "Did I really raise him to be so stupid?"

Mia, having heard her, replied, "He is fucking stupid. How can he give up a catch like Ana?"

Carla was beyond livid at this development. She looked on at the people in the room and said in a brisk tone, "We were never good enough. You're boy just didn't have the guts to tell my daughter that until now. He just took what he could from her and gave nothing back. Look at her now. He broke her."

Ana, having heard all what was being said pulled herself together long enough to prevent an argument. "D-D-Don't b-blame C-C-Chris…..h-him. He n-n-never l-l-ov….L-loved me. I pushed the relationship," Said Ana in a shaking voice.

Everyone in the room was poised to protest but she had already jerked to her feet and pushed past them. She was out the room before they had time to notice, a vision of white running down the hotel hallway. Luke was ready to give chase, but Kate held him back. She knew her best friend better than anybody and she knew that Ana wanted to be alone at this moment in time.

The wedding was cancelled in no time. Christian already set the ball rolling on that. Taylor could not look his boss in the eye fearing he would lose his job if he reacted how he truly felt over the events that unfolded. Ray, Ana's father had to be removed from the premises, having already threatened Christian. Both Carrick and Elliot, Christian's father and brother left him after her told him. They too were also angry at his actions. They were now part of the search party in trying to locate Ana.

Ana knew that she was being looked for but she didn't care. Everything about Seattle reminded her of the only man she ever loved. A man who never loved her. She always knew deep in her heart that he was too good for her, but he always assured her that she was wrong. She realised that he wasn't the only good liar. She lied to herself. She convinced herself that she was good enough for Christian Grey.

It took her 23 years to find love and a few moments to have her heart shattered. She quickly returned to the apartment she shared with Kate, grateful that not all of her stuff had not been moved to Escala just yet. Quickly grabbing her passport and other documents, she packed a small suitcase, stripped out of her wedding dress and changed into a jeans and t-shirt. She left a note for Kate requesting to be left alone but promising to report to them as soon as she possible. She then turned her back on her home.

Without a moment's hesitation, she ditched her iPhone and took a cab to the airport. She booked the last seat on a flight to New York. She couldn't live in Seattle anymore. She vowed to herself never to return. Even if Christian Grey himself came to her, got on his knees and begged her to return, a farfetched idea that, she would not return. She may not be the most secure, emotionally stable person at the moment, but she was ready to turn over a new leaf.

Her life in Seattle was over. She would never return.

Or so she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Three Years Later

Anastasia Steele sucked in a deep breath, wiped her clammy hands on her navy blue pencil knee-length skirt and stepped out of her Aston Martin One-77. Her hands shook slightly as she gripped her nude handbag but she was ready. Pushing her shades up her small button nose, she steadily approached the intimidating ivory tower, also known as Grey Enterprises Holdings.

Any other person would be giddy with the opportunity presented to her. Any other person would be in complete business mode if they were here to interview for the position of Editor-in Chief for the fictions department at the world renowned publishing house, Grey Publishing. Not Anastasia Steele. No, her mind was now preoccupied with the worry that she would run into her boss's boss, otherwise known as the man who broke her heart, or in layman's terms, her ex-fiancé.

Anastasia smoothened her cream silk blouse as she approached the blonde receptionist located in the lobby of the building.

Clearing her throat, she said in a voice that easily betrayed her anxiety, "I am here for my interview at Grey Publishing, Anastasia Steele."

The blond bombshell cocked her perfectly arched eyebrow at her, the only indication that she knew of Anastasia's past with her boss but other than that, no other reaction was displayed.

With a voice as clear as bell, the blond whose name plate read Hilary O'Conner said, "Welcome Ms. Steele. Your interview will be conducted by Stephanie Foster on the fourteenth floor. Here is your visitors pass. Please show it to the receptionist on that floor and you will be guided accordingly."

Anastasia simply nodded her head, took and pass, turned on her heel and briskly walked to the elevator. She breathed a sigh of relief upon entering the empty elevator cab. She took this time to smoothen her cream silk blouse and check her wavy brunette hair from her reflection in the door. Pushing her bangs from her eyes, she counted to ten to calm her nerves and pushed aside all feelings of fear and doubt. If she had learnt anything from the past three years, she knew how to mask her feelings.

As the door opened, Anastasia willed her feet to the receptionist's desk and presented her past. This second blonde receptionist balked a little upon seeing her name but she quickly recovered before showing her to the waiting area for her interview.

Anastasia waited all of two minutes before a slim red-head approached her. She stuck out a perfectly manicured hand and quickly introduced herself as Mrs. Stephanie Foster before ushering her into a brightly lit conference room.

"Well Miss Steele, you come highly recommended by your former boss. He had nothing but great things to say about you," began Mrs. Foster. "If I may be so bold as to ask, why would you leave such a well-known publishing house, in New York no less, to apply here?" she continued. Anastasia simply blinked at her interviewee as she subtly referred to her past relationship.

Ana cleared her throat before saying, "Please call me Ana, and I don't mean to sound rude, but I did not apply here. I was as shocked as anyone to be offered to interview for this position, but that being said, I do want this job. GP is a world renowned publishing house. I can't imagine any person who would turn down this position."

Stephanie nodded, then said, "Well Ana, explain to me your interest in fictional writing? Why this position specifically?"

Ana breathed a sigh of relief in seeing that the interview was now solely focused on her professional skills before launching into her explanation. She loved nothing more than getting lost in a good book, forgetting life's problems and letting it all go, so it was easy for her to explain herself.

The interview passed without a hitch and Ana truly felt at ease. If she didn't get this job, she knew it would not be because she flunked her interview, but higher powers at play. Stephanie Foster was impressed with Ana. She tried not to out rightly show her admiration for the girl who sat before her but she knew without a doubt that Ana would be an excellent fit at GP. Her only concern was the petite brunette's personal life. Would the boss be ok with this new development? Did he even know that she was here interviewing for a job that would put her in close contact with him on a bi-monthly basis?

Both women stood and Stephanie informed Ana that she would be in touch before Friday, giving her team 2 days to decide if Anastasia Steele will be a new employee here at GP. Stephanie believed that the decision would be made before lunch today, but protocol had to be followed. Anastasia shook Mrs. Foster's hand once more before exiting the room and making her way to the elevators.

As the doors closed, she allowed herself to breathe. She had 2 days to truly decide if she wanted to work here. Was this the wisest of decisions? She quickly exited the elevator and went to return her visitor's pass. She wanted to get of the premises as quickly as possible, and not push her luck. Her nerves could not handle a run in with Christian Grey now. That might send her over the edge for good and she wasn't quite ready for a mental breakdown.

She was just about to walk through the revolving doors when a voice she hadn't heard in 3 years pierced her. Ana froze. She could not believe her luck. Blowing out a lungful of air, Ana straightened her panicked face and turned. She hoped that she appeared serene and not at all the nervous, panicked wreck she felt. She was 100% sure that her rapid heartbeat could be heard across the building lobby. She looked upon the figure approaching her and willed herself not to cry.

"Ana, how have you been?" said a voice she hadn't heard since her would be wedding day.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ana, how have you been?" said a voice she hadn't heard since her would have been wedding day.

Grace could not believe her eyes. Was this Anastasia Steele leaving GEH? Wait, did Ana come here to visit her son? She certainly looked like she was on a mission of sorts. Determined, and slightly nervous. Maybe she chickened out. Grace knew that Christian wasn't always the easiest person to talk to. He was far to intimidating for his own good. She never could understand why her darling son gave up such a sweet girl like Ana. She truly did believe that Christian was head over heels in love with her. Even a blind person could have seen it. She was as wrong as the day is bright on that count.

"Grace, it's lovely to see you. How are you?" relied Ana. Her teeth found their place on her bottom lip, the only indication to Grace that Ana was nervous. Grace couldn't help her herself. She reached out and pulled the beautiful brunette into her arms and gave her a hard embrace. Ana could only blink. She had no time to react but before she knew it, her arms came up and returned Grace's hug.

She always admired Grace. She was more like a mother to her in the little time that she had known her than Carla ever was. She certainly embraced her as part of her family and treated her like a second daughter. She never once saw her as a "gold digging whore" as most thought she was. Ana felt the tears welling up in eyes and she willed them away.

Unfortunately, the tears escaped. Grace simply held her. She patted her back soothingly and waited for it to pass. Ana could not believe that she was crying again. She quickly pulled herself together and wiped her nose in the most unladylike fashion with the back of her hand. Grace, ever the mother-hen, waited. She understood that the sweet girl needed just a few moments to compose herself.

"Have you eaten yet Ana? I was supposed to be having lunch now but a situation arose so I was just about to dine alone. Would you care to join me?" said Grace in her angelic voice. Ever mindful of people's feelings, Grace neglected to mention that she was here to meet Christian for lunch but like the workaholic he is, he got pulled into a meeting at the last minute. Ana heard what Grace had not said.

She truly did not want to go to lunch with Grace. She much rather avoid such an awkward encounter and any conversions about her love life, or lack thereof as well as Christian's. She knew Grace was only being kind in her offer. Besides, Ana certainly didn't have much of an appetite and she doubted it would return anytime soon. Good manners won out in the end, and Ana found herself agreeing to join her ex fiancé's mother for lunch.

"Terrific! C'mon we'll walk. I know this excellent bistro just a block away," said an elated Grace. She grasped Ana's wrist and pulled her out the building. The walk to the bistro was strangely quiet, a fact Ana was grateful for. She used this conversational lull to gather her scattered thoughts and pull herself together. She really hoped that she looked pull together and was thanking all higher powers for the magic that is waterproof makeup!

Upon entering the bistro, they were seating right away at a window seat. Ana quickly ordered a Caesar's salad knowing that was all she could stomach at the moment, while Grace orders the penne in alfredo sauce. The two women looked each other in the eye across the table, one assessing and curious, the other hesitant and anxious.

Grace was the first the break the silence. "So my dear girl, what have you been up?"

Ana exhaled loudly, so appreciative that Grace avoided the topic that she knew she really wanted to talk about. "Well I moved back to Seattle. My boss, well former boss received a letter from GP demanding that I come in for an interview. They want me to take up the position as Editor in Chief here. At least I hope they want me" said Ana with a nervous giggle. "I came in today for the interview. Now I'm finalising the business end of moving but I finally found an apartment that I liked from the get go so I should be moving from my hotel tomorrow. What about you? How's the world of paediatrics?"

Grace understood that Ana didn't want to delve into too personal a conversation so she humoured the sweet girl and let her control the conversational topics, for now at least. "Its so wonderful to hear about you moving back here! And that job opportunity! My sweet girl, you will absolutely get it! I know how hard you've worked when you were still a humble assistant at SIP. You deserve it no doubt. And you know, being a paediatrician breaks my heart so often but I can't imagine doing anything else. Where are you going to stay? What apartment complex?"

"Oh, my agent showed me these amazing apartments in Bellevue. So I guess were gonna be close" said Ana with a grin. "How are Mia and Carrick? I hear about Elliot from Kate so I'm all caught up on him. Has Mia opened her restaurant yet? I remembered that being her "dream" since forever" said Ana with a smirk.

"Carrick is wonderful and I know he'll be thrilled that you asked about him. Oh, you know Mia, her dreams changes like the wind. I believe she wants to be a party planner now. Bless her heart, but my little girl needs to settle down. Her brothers have truly had it with her antics," replied Grace.

Ana couldn't help the frown that marred her face at the mention of Mia's brothers. Grace had said this intentionally of course, as a way of slowly easing into the conversation they were both avoiding.

"Ana, sweetheart, please don't think that I'm prying or speaking out of turn, but I want you to know this. What my boy did to you has haunted me for the past three years. I truly believed that he loved you. Everyone did. You made him the happiest that I've ever seen him. I may not understand what went on then and God knows I've tried talking to that stubborn son of mine but I really did want you as my daughter-in law. I hope you know that we all loved you." Said Grace in a quiet voice.

Ana lowered her fork, took a sip of water before saying, "Grace I myself don't truly know what went on those three years ago. He never loved me. I always knew it in my heart I just refused to accept it. I was never what he needed and sooner or later our marriage would have imploded. I'm just grateful that he had the courage to say something before it got too far. I can tell you this however, C-C-Chris….your son was the only man I have ever been able to love. I will always love him. But I think I've finally accepted that I am not what he wants or needs. Of course I would have loved nothing more than to be a part of the Grey family. You were always so wonderful to me. But fate had other plans I guess." Finished Ana with a shrug of her shoulders.

Grace, slightly angered by Ana's speech spoke up, "You, my girl was far to good for my boy. I know how that sounds coming from me. But you loved him for him. He was too blind to see it. Don't ever doubt yourself for a minute. And I guess your right in one thing though, fate had another path for you both"

"Anyway," continued Grace, "Enough about this, the Coping Together Event is on Friday. You have to come Ana! Kate will be there. As will Mia, who I know will be over the moon excited to see you."

Ana quickly started shaking her head "no" to Grace's request but she already pulled out an invitation from her gorgeous, no doubt expensive, black handback. "Here, I will add your name to the list of specially invited guests. The theme's "A black, white, and red affair", Mia's doing, " said Grace with a roll of her eyes.

"Grace as much as I would love to attend. I don't think it's a good idea. Can I just make a donation?" said Ana. Grace was adamant that Ana attend. She simply stared at Ana with the same look that she often uses on Christian to guilt him into doing something he loathes. Ana found her resolve diminishing and before she knew it, she was agreeing to make plans with Kate to go with her and Elliot.

"Wonderful darling. I will see you on Friday. " said Grace before they both exited the bistro after having paid. Ana watched her walk away and she couldn't help but mumble to herself. "I'm certainly a glutton for punishment aren't I? First the interview, now this event? If I didn't know any better I'd think I actually wanted to see him"

With a slump of her shoulders, she dragged her feet back to her car made her way back to her hotel.

As soon as she returned to her room, Ana killed off her nude stilettos, flung her purse aside and quickly dialled her best friend. Of course, since the universe seemed against her today, she was sent to voicemail.

_"Hey, you've reached Kate. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. If I don't it probably means I don't like you, which is your problem, not mine. ***beep***_

"Kate, why don't you ever answer your damn phone. I need you. I ran into Mama Grey together. Yeah you heard me. I had lunch with Grace and now I have to attend that Coping Together Event on Friday. I stupidly said yes and that I'll go with you. Anyways, come here ASAP, preferably with Chinese and booze. " Rambled Ana.

Tossing her phone aside, she collapsed on the sofa and waited on her best friend.

* * *

><p>Two days later, Ana stood in the vast bathrooms in one of Kate and Elliot's guest rooms. Kate had taken the time to do her makeup and Ana was eternally grateful. Although she was dreading any reunion with her ex, she certainly wanted to look her best. She wanted to see the stunned expression on his face when he noticed her for the first time. And more importantly, she wanted to see regret in his eyes. Ana was not a vengeful person, but she wanted to see Christian squirm just a little bit.<p>

Her hair had been swept to the side, where Kate had done this intricate braid. Ana didn't even know how she did it but she loved how it looked. Slipping into her gown, Ana hoped that she stood out without being obnoxious about it. She wanted to make an impression without drawing extra attention to herself.

Looking into the full length mirror, Ana gasped. She was the furthest thing from vain but she had to admit that she looked damn fine. The full length gown was both black and white. The bodice being white with black subtly blending into it and flowing all the way down. The entire dress was made of lace and the long sleeves revealed Ana's toned arms. Her legs, from mid thigh to about mid calf was also visible through the transparent lace. Her 6 inched stilettos were blocked from view by the once more opaque black lace. The slightly low cut v-neck bodice revealed some of Ana's impressive cleavage. It wasn't indecent by any means but it was enough to entice and make a person, preferably Christian yearn to see more.

Stepping out of the bedroom, Ana saw both Elliot and Kate waiting in the foyer for her. Kate was absolutely stunning in her red evening gown. The bodice of the dress was fully jewelled with red and silver jewels. The rest of the gown was a vibrant red that flowed all the way down Kate's body and formed a small train. The only piece of jewellery Kate wore was her impressive engagement ring. Elliot was also quite a looker. His black three piece suite moulded to his body giving the indication of his impressive physique. His tie and pocket square were red, indicating Kate's input into his outfit. The couple looked absolutely stunning and both were speechless upon seeing Ana. Ana couldn't help but smile since it was no easy task in making both Kate and Elliot quiet.

"C'mon Steele, we don't want to be late. Well I don't want to…you make say differently" said Kate. Ana had to roll her eyes at her tactless friend then laughed outright when Elliot said " Fuck! You're gonna make my brother come in his pants. If he does, I'll owe you for life." Only Elliot could make her laugh when she wanted to scream.

As they rode together to Bellevue, Ana couldn't help but feel thankful for both Kate and Elliot. Surprisingly enough, she had gotten a little closer to Elliot over the past 3 years. Of course Kate and Elliot would be the ones to visit her since she didn't want any run-ins with Christian but she had come to love Elliot like a brother she never had. The only other person she viewed like that was Kate's bother Ethan but he was not as out-going in character as Elliot.

The threesome arrived at the event a half hour later. Butterflies were in full flight in Ana's stomach and she felt like she was ready to pass out. Kate and Elliot sensing her state of mind, gripped both her hands and the three walked hand in hand into the impressively decorated tent. Grace and Mia certainly outdid themselves as the tent was lavishly decorated. Red, white and black lined the ceiling and the tablescape were stunningly beautiful. Ana was thoroughly impressed.

Kate and Elliot unfortunately had to abandon to see to their social obligations so Ana made her way to the bar. It was certainly unladylike to go get alcohol as soon as she arrived but she needed it. The bartender must have sensed her inner turmoil, or maybe he thought she was hot but she got his undivided attention as soon as she reached the bar.

"Vodka martini please. Dirty. Like really dirty. Seriously go Heavy on the vodka please" said Ana. The bartender chuckling at her antics quickly went about doing her bidding. As soon as she got her drink, the MC started talking.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to our annual event. It is my pleasure to be a part of this prestigious event and lend a hand in helping to make this world a better place, especially for children in need of help. It is indeed an honour to invite on stage our hosts and founders of this charitable organisation Mr Carrick Grey and his stunner of a wife Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey."

The audience started applauding and Ana took this time to go find her seat. It was now or never,she thought. With a nod to the bartender and a promise to return soon, she willed her feet to approach table one.

She spotted him before she saw anyone else. Always a standout, his messy copper hair drew her eyes to him. Like always, Ana felt her heart pick up. He brought out that reaction in her. He was staring at the stage so he didn't see her approach. Kate and Elliot however had their gazes fixed on her. As did Ethan who Ana noticed was gripping Mia's hand. Mia was oblivious to all around her which made Ana smile slightly.

Both Elliot and Ethan stood as Ana reached the table. This action caused Christian's head to whip around. He gasped loudly as he saw her, but ever the gentlemen, to the public eye at least, he too stood. His eyes had darkened and hardened just a little and his gave kept going from her to the brunette that Ana now noticed sat beside him.

Ana felt her heart shatter once more. Only Christian could cause such a reaction in her. Taking a large gulp of her martini she quickly composed herself, willed her tears back as well as the actual physical pain that she was feeling in seeing him, especially with another woman on his arms. She approached her seat so beyond grateful that Grace had seated her between Mia and Kate and placed her glass down.

She then surprised herself, as well as those around her, when she said in a strong, clear voice, "Hello Christian."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I just want to clarify a few things.**

**1) Christian does not have a past involving BDSM. He likes kinky fuckery (i love that term :3) but he does not practise hardcore BDSM. He does however have an incredibly active sex life. Pre and post Ana. He just has commitment issues (for lack of a better term)**

**2)Ana has tried dating while in New York but she has not connected with anyone. This will be explained and expanded on in a later chapter. **

**Thats all **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>"Hello Christian," said Ana is a strong, clear voice.<p>

Christian opened his mouth, trying to bring himself to speak but he couldn't. He was completely and utterly stunned! Anastasia Steele was standing before him, in the flesh. He had to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. Of course she looked even more beautiful since the last time he saw her. Her eyes were a little brighter and her hair, still the luscious brown colour now had caramel highlights. Her neck was still slim and led to her delicate shoulders that he remembered biting on several occasions as he emptied himself inside her. And that dress, it hugged her slender figure. Her waist appeared smaller, her hips wider and if possible her breasts fuller. He started shifting as he felt that familiar tightening in his pants. A reaction that Ana always triggered, no matter how serious the occasion.

He didn't notice that he was staring but judging by the swift hard kick he felt under the table, everyone else did. He flashed Mia a dirty look as her stilettos nicked his shin. He couldn't help the glare that hardened his features as all the persons seated at their table were flashing looks between both him and Ana. Even his date, who he regretted bringing now more than ever was staring at both him and Ana. Her looks however, were one of envy as opposed to curiosity.

Christian really did not intend to invite Gisele here. In fact, he really didn't invite her. She invited herself and he really wasn't in the mood for a fight tonight. Besides, he wanted to be able to fuck her as soon as they returned home and pissing her off may not have made that easy. She would not have been receptive. Now he doubted he'll be able to get it up for her. He might have to use the visual before him.

Ana knew that her "so-called" friends were boring holes into her head at this point in time. How can they not warn her that Christian was dating? And a stunning brunette no less! Kate and Elliot were going to pay! She obviously didn't expect him to be celibate. He was the one that dumped her after all but she wasn't expecting this! The universe was certainly doing a number on her this week.

Ana pointedly ignored them all as she studiously read her menu and the list of auction items available.

"I'm sorry Steele, I didn't know he was bringing a date, or that he was dating anyone for that matter," whispered Kate in her ear.

Ana, slightly nullified, nodded at her best friend, silently conveying to Kate that she was forgiven. Elliot, ever mindful of Ana's feelings, reached across the table and patted Ana's hand soothingly.

"OMG! ANA! WHENDIDYOUGETBACKINTOWN?" screeched an over-excited Mia. Ethan glanced Ana's way, a silent apology for his girlfriend's outburst. Ana however was grateful. She really couldn't handle the staring contest that Christian was trying to start and so Mia was the perfect distraction.

"It's lovely to see you too Mia" laughed Ana. "I arrived a week ago but I swore Kate to secrecy. I wanted to get me feet firmly planted on the ground before I informed people of my arrival."

"Really? A week ago? Where are you living? And why are you back? I meant that in the least rude way possible. Because I missed you Ana! You were like my sister" shot off Mia once more.

"I missed you too Mia. Although I'm sure you only say that because I was the only one that allowed you to play "Barbie Annie," teased Ana. "I'm moving back. I interviewed for a job at GP on Wednesday and I found out I got the job via email just a few hours ago. So Mia, long story, short, you've got your Barbie back to torture."

Ana glanced Christian's way as she said the part about the job opportunity and saw his eyebrows draw together. He quickly pulled out his phone while avoiding eye contact with them all. He may not have known that she was interviewed after all.

Grace and Carrick returned to the table to see a clapping Mia, a pissed Christian, a confused looking Ana, the three anxious looks of Kate, Ethan and Elliot and a brunette they didn't recognise draped over their younger son. They were only gone for 10 minutes!

To say Carrick was stunned to see Ana would be an understatement. He quickly enveloped the girl into a hug when she stood to greet them. "I've missed you my dear girl" he whispered in her ear. This made her tear up a bit. She knew that the Greys viewed her as family when she and Christian were together many moons ago. She just didn't truly see the impact she made on their lives. She doubted it even now, even when Carrick, a man known not to openly show his feelings was telling her he missed her.

As dinner was being served, Ana caught up with the always talkative Mia, and the much more subdued Ethan. They were both in a steady relationship for a little over a year now. They were both clearly in love and Ana was beyond happy for them both. Kate and Elliot were also a part of the conversation as the meal flowed from appetizer to entrée to dessert. Ana actively tried to ignore Christian but she could not help the glances she passed his way when she couldn't feel his heated stare on her. The man was too good looking for his own good. That was the only reason she kept looking in his direction. Or so she told herself.

"So Anastasia? As Mia said, you guys are like sisters. And Elliot treats you like a sister. What about Christian? What are you to him?" said the brunette who was now making a show of stroking Christian's bicep. Ana forgot her name although Christian introduced her to his parents just under an hour ago. By the look on her face, she did not like the looks that Christian was sending Ana's way. It didn't help matters that Christian hadn't really talked to her much since Ana approached their table or that Christian shrugged her off when he couldn't stand her touch on his arm.

Everybody at the table was now silent. All eyes were glaring at Christian's companion, even Christian himself. Gisele didn't really care. She wanted to know who this girl was. She wanted to know why she was here and if she was here to steal her man.

"Yes Elliot and Mia are my siblings," said Ana, avoiding the girl's actual question.

"What about Christian? What were you to him?" insisted the brunette, in a much harsher tone.

Ana, took a gulp of her water and looked the girl directly in the eye before replying, "I was nothing apparently."

With those words, she quickly excused herself and made her way to the bathroom. She did not see the sad expression that crossed Christian's face or the smirk that graced Gisele's face. Mia and Kate both got up to follow Ana. Christian's gaze followed the three women until they were out of sight.

As soon as the girls disappeared, Christian rounded on Gisele.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" hissed Christian in a tone that Gisele visible balked at. "Don't fucking talk to her again! Do you understand me?" Christian was livid. How could this bitch talk to Ana like that? He knew that he was the last person that should say anything, especially given how he treated Ana but he didn't like to see her deliberately attacked liked that.

Gisele could only blink at Christian. Her relationship with him wasn't exactly a relationship per say. They were more like fuck buddies. She had stupidly convinced herself that maybe if she met his family, interacted with him when he wasn't fucking her then she could show him that they could be more than just sex friends. She actually thought her plan was working since he spoke to her of his family and some trivial matters on the way here but her all her hopes were extinguished the moment that girl approached the table. Gisele never had Christian to begin with but she definitely lost him when he saw Anastasia Steele again. With this thought, she picked up her clutch and stood up.

Turning to Carrick and Grace, she said "Thank you for a wonderful evening but I must be going." Both were shocked to hear this. Not because she was going, their son had ignored all night after all. But that she was giving up so easily.

Christian helped her into her coat and she honestly believed that he was going to leave with her when he grasped her elbow and led her to the exit. She should have known differently.

"Taylor will take you home," said Christian in his usual business tone. Gisele simply nodded as the sexiest man she has ever known walked away from her. This would not be the last he saw of her. She would make sure of it.

Christian took a deep breath and re-entered the tenth. He was going to prove to Ana that he loved her. He was ready to show her how special she was. If he had to get down on his knees and begged her for a second chance, he would. He didn't care if he had to declare to the world that he never stopped loving her. He was not going to give up.

He made up his mind. Christian Grey was ready to woo Anastasia Steele. And woo her he will.

* * *

><p><strong>AN : REVIEW PLEASE...YOUR INPUT IS MUCH APPRECIATED! Also, I apologise for any spelling or grammatical errors. I hate proof reading :p**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews.**

**I'm trying my best to avoid any cliches but I am making this story up as I go...**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy**

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>The girls emerged from the bathroom and Ana was feeling slightly less emotional. Kate and Mia were right. She had to smile at their conversation in the bathroom. She missed these girls more than she cared to admit. They certainly had a way in cheering her up.<p>

"C'mon Steele. Ignore that bitch. And that fucker otherwise known as Christian Grey," began Kate as she inspected her face in the mirror. "You look hot. Go out there and have fun."

Mia nodded vehemently. "I love my brother but he was a complete dick to you. Go out there and make him jealous. You look hot and you're single. You are single right? Anyways, it doesn't matter. The point is you're a sexpot. You'll rake in the cash in the dance auction. You are doing the dance auction right?"

Ana had laughed outright. But both Mia and Kate were right. She was a single, hot twenty six year old. Screw Christian Grey. If she wasn't enough for him, it's his loss.

"Yes Mia, I'm single. And you know what? I'm going to mingle so yes, sign me up for the auction," said Ana.

Kate and Ana waited to the left of the stage when Mia went to gather the other 7 girls for the first dance auction. Strangely enough, Ana was excited. That second martini that she got on her way to the bathrooms must have really gotten to her since she was eager to step out in front of a crowd and parade herself like a prize at a fair.

Mia returned not 5 minutes later with 7 gorgeous girls behind her. "Ok Ana. Since you're a sexpot, you will be last" said Mia with a wink. Ana rolled her eyes as the girl she loved like a sister continued, "You will break records tonight. I can feel it. I mean you will be breaking a record set by you but that's beside the point."

"Ok Mia" interjected Kate, having seen the frown that crossed Ana's face, "She gets it. No more sugar for you tonight ok."

The MC started speaking then, so the girls focused their attention on the stage.

"It's about that time that you wait all year for. The first dance auction. And boy, are you lads in for a treat tonight. There are ten absolutely stunning women waiting to my left and if I didn't have to host this show I can guarantee you that I would have been some serious competition"

The audience chuckled at this as the first girl stepped on stage.

Before Ana knew it, it was her turn. She carefully stepped onto the stage and gave the audience a beautiful charming smile. The MC started his introduction of her but Ana heard none of it. Her eyes were searching the crowd for Kate.

Before the MC could even finish his introduction, someone shouted, "Twenty thousand dollars."

Ana froze. She didn't have to look to know that it was Christian. Her eyes haphazardly searched the crowd to find Kate or Elliot. Her worries were short-lived however when a deep voice shouted, "50 thousand dollars."

Christian was not about to be outdone and he easily countered, "100 thousand dollars"

A dark haired stranger emerged from the crowd and said in that same deep, smooth voice that made Ana think of long sweaty nights on satin sheets said, "200 thousand dollars."

The man was beautiful. Ana could only stare as the beautiful, evidently rich man look up at her on stage. She must have been blatant in checking him out because he flashed her a heart stopping smile and a wink that she would have swooned at if she was a little more pathetic than she appeared. His obvious yearn to win gave Ana a little hope that Christian was not going to dance with her tonight.

She should have known better, surely. Christian upped the ante once more, in a voice so quiet, it reminded Ana of the calm before the storm, "500 thousand dollars."

The audience had gone completely quiet. They had no doubt realised that a pissing contest was going on between these 2 handsome men and Ana was the bright red fire hydrant. Even the MC had taken a backseat. He knew better than to come between these formidable characters.

The stranger flashed Christian a smile before saying, "800 thousand dollars."

Christian glared at him before saying in a voice as cold as death, "1 million dollars"

The stranger laughed outright before raising his hands and backing up. He obviously was not going to continue this bidding war, no matter how intriguing the prize. Ana was rooted to her spot. The MC, still slightly stupefied, said, "1 million dollars, going once, going twice? Sold!"

Christian started approaching the stage and Ana started her descent. "What more do you have in store for me universe? I bet you're laughing right now aren't you," mumbled Ana to herself.

Christian reached her just as the MC announced that the first dance was going to start.

"May I have this dance?" said Christian to Ana, when he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Why bother to ask, oh mighty one, you just take what you want anyway, "spat Ana.

Christian frowned at her words but he took her elbow and escorted her on the dance floor just as Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud came on. Ana groaned at the song choice. Talk about irony!

The two stood awkwardly in the other's arms and moved stiffly to the music. Christian wracked his brain for something to say but all he could think about was how good she felt in his arms, even if she stood as far from him as she could. He took this time to study her face and he felt his chest tighten. Three years had only made her more beautiful. He knew that he owed her answers. He knew that he had to come clean about everything but not right now. Right now, he was savouring the feel of her. Basking in being so close to her.

Christian wasn't the only one in emotional turmoil. Ana, with her hand fisted on his shoulder, willed herself not to cry or scream. Her traitorous body revelled in being in his arms once more. Her mind was thoroughly pissed at her body. His warm breath on her neck and the heat of his hand on the small of her back made her wet. How long was this song anyway?

As soon as the song was done, she pulled herself out of his arms. She was ready to bolt but Christian was quick. He grabbed her arm before she could run.

"Please Ana, don't run, I need to talk to you. I want to talk to you," said Christian in a quiet voice.

Ana shrugged out of his hold and said, "Well Christian I want a unicorn, neither of which is going to happen."

She then matched determinedly to the bar, with Kate hot on her tail.

Kate quickly caught up with her to see Ana smiling. "Are you ok? Are you drunk?" said a bewildered Kate.

"I am fine, wonderful even. I saw regret in his eyes and the only thing I could think was "Screw you Grey!" "Replied Ana

Kate let out a loud, obnoxious laugh and said, "Good for you Steele! Since you're ok, I'm going to dance with my man. Find me if you need me."

Kate left a smacking kiss on Ana's cheek before she sauntered away. She stopped and turned to look at Ana once more but her crazy friend was already at the bar.

Ana reached the bar, needing another martini.

"Sean, you know my poison of choice," said Ana to a chuckling bartender. Ana was sure that he thought that she was a drunk or here for the free booze.

"Should I be worried that you're on a first name basis with bartender?" came a husky voice to her left.

Ana whipped her head to the left, ready with a sarcastic remark but all she could do was swallow. Before her stood quite possibly the most beautiful man she's seen in three years. If she didn't know Christian, she would easily say he was the most beautiful man she ever saw. This was the man from the bidding war with Christian! Hoping that she wasn't drooling, she quickly said, "Sean, meet an insanely rich dude, insanely rich dude, meet my good friend for the evening, Sean."

Both men started laughing, both thinking she was crazy, of that she was certain.

"I came over here to apologise to you. I wanted to win that dance with you and I would have gladly outbid him but my financial advisor would have killed me. Anyway, my name is Tristan O'Callaghan," said the gorgeous man before her.

Ana grinned at the man before replying, "Anastasia Steele, but my friends call me Ana. I guess you can too."

"Look Ana, "said Tristan, "I'm going to go out on a limb here, but can I escort you to see the fireworks display?"

Ana smiled, grabbed her drink from the bartender who was blatantly checking out her handsome suitor and said, "If you're going to escort me, you might as well do it now."

The two gorgeous people exited the tent. Ana could feel the looks she was getting. Christian felt physically sick seeing her laugh with Tristan. Kate was so happy that her friend was showing an interest in someone, and a handsome, rich, do-gooder like Tristan O'Callaghan, no less. Mia was both happy for Ana and sad for her brother.

The fireworks started and Ana actually felt comfortable. She didn't know who this Tristan guy was but she was willing to get to know him. She didn't care that Christian was around. She didn't care that he was her new "boss". She didn't care that most eyes were scrutinizing her. She felt beautiful, she felt wanted and she was going to make a home here in Seattle. Christian Grey was not going to affect her life anymore, except maybe her pay check, but she didn't need the money so that was not going to be a problem either.

"Ana, would you like to go get a coffee or something?" said Tristan as the fireworks ended.

"I would love that. Let me just tell my friend that I'm leaving. I'll meet you outside by the valet." Replied Ana.

Ana quickly informed Kate of her plans and promised to call her the moment she arrived home. She then exited the tent only to be stopped by a voice she knew too well.

"Please Ana. Just allow me to explain myself," said Christian.

Before Ana could reply, "Ana, are you coming?" said Tristan from his place in front the car that the valet brought around.

In that moment, of one thing Ana was absolutely certain, the universe was telling her to make a choice.

* * *

><p><strong>AN : Review please. :) **

**Also you can check out my board on pinterest for any visuals you may want...the link is in my profile **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you soo much for you reviews. Based on them I should probably further clarify.**

**When I say Christian has an active sex life, pre and post Ana, i did not intend for it to come across as he fucked every woman within walking distance. But he was not celibate either. At least not in the recent year and a half or so. He did not actively seek out a woman for sex but he did not pass up any opportunities either. I just want to sorta stick to the idea that sex is a coping mechanism for him.**

**Also, when i say commitment issues, I meant many have tried to have "more" with him. But Christian only ever wanted more with Ana. He would willing have sex with a women but he never wanted anything more than sex**

**I hope im not being contradictory or anything. i am making this story up as i go so im trying my best. the plot line is not set in stone in my mind. **

**Thats all. **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>"Christian, I've waited 3 years for an explanation, I'm done waiting," said Ana. "Do you honestly think I'm going to believe anything that comes out of your mouth anyway? Run back to Gisele."<p>

Ana couldn't give a fuck if he finally decided to give her the time of day. She had wasted too much time on this asshole. She wasn't going to lie, she was curious to find out what he had to say, but something told her she was better off not knowing. Loving Christian had taken its toll. She really needed to check back into reality and accept things for what they were.

Ana turned away, ready to leave for good. Instead, she turned, "Look Christian, I know we have to talk, especially if, in the foreseeable future, we have to work together when such circumstances arise. But I can't right now. There's too much between us. And I can't trust you. Or myself for that matter." With those words, Ana walked away.

Christian could only stare as the only women he ever truly loved walk away from him and got into another man's car. He only had himself to blame after all. He was the one that pushed her away. He was the one that gave her up. He hated himself for it. He hated that she plagued his thoughts for the past three years. How was he going to tell her that it was his own messed up past that forced his hand? How could he explain that he was only protecting her from the ghosts of his past? Would she believe that he left her to protect her?

Pulling out his phone, Christian quickly dialled Taylor. "I'm ready to leave. Bring the car around."

Bidding his family goodbye he returned home alone, pissed off and feeling lonelier than ever before.

Meanwhile, Ana was overthinking everything. She needed time to think. She needed to figure out what she really wanted. She needed to get her act together. Looking over at Tristan, who hadn't really said much since she got into the car, probably because he sensed her distress, she said, "I'm sorry Tristan, but can you just take me home? I promise we'll do this another time."

Following a sigh, Tristan replied, "I will but only if you promise to accompany me to this art exhibit I have to attend on Sunday. It's more of an obligatory party but I'm sure I'll enjoy myself if I had the pleasure of your company."

Ana giggled at the request but quickly agreed. "Deal, would you like it in writing?" she said.

"Just your number and address is fine for now," he teased.

Ana rattled off the information which he immediately stored in his phone. Tristan pulled up in front of the hotel that she was staying at. "Thank you for this Tristan. I'll see you on Sunday?" she said.

"Count on it," came his reply. "Oh and Ana," he continued as he opened the door for her, "If he makes you feel this badly, he probably isn't worth it."

Ana only smiled at him. He pecked her on her cheek, a chaste kiss, that she almost didn't feel, but it certainly elevated her spirits.

"Goodnight beautiful Ana. I'll see you on Sunday at your new apartment," said Tristan in a voice that caused Ana's breath to hitch. She watched him as he drove away, her teeth finding their favourite place on her bottom lip.

As soon as Ana reached her room, she kicked off her shoes, called Kate, took a long shower and went to sleep. Her brain was wired. Her heart was aching and her feet were killing her. She was really beginning to wonder if she was a masochist.

Across the city, Christian had both Sawyer and Taylor sitting in his office.

"Fuck Taylor! How could you not know that she interviewed at GP?" bellowed a pissed of Christian.

Both Taylor and Sawyer glanced at each other, unsure how to express their beliefs to their boss. Christian, having seen the look, snarled, "What aren't you telling me?"

"Well Sir," began Taylor, "We assumed that you were the one that suggested Miss Steele return. You dealt with the threat against her so we thought you were ready to come clean to her about your father."

Christian literally growled at Taylor's explanation. "I don't fucking pay you to assume, Taylor. And that prick was not my father!" shouted Christian.

Taylor, used to Christian's temper, simply waited for Christian to calm down a bit. He had worked for him for far too long. He knew that Christian would not listen to a word he said when he was this pissed off. Besides, Taylor sort of enjoyed seeing Ana talk to Christian the way she did today. That lady was the best thing that ever happened to his boss, and Christian, being Christian, pushed her aside, instead of telling her that his biological father had returned and was blackmailing him. He understood that Christian's fear was that Ana would get caught up in his mess but that girl loved him like no other. She would have fought alongside him. She would have gladly bloodied her hands for Christian, of that Taylor was certain.

"I'm sorry Sir, I'll look into it and inform you of what I find in the morning," Said Taylor.

Christian nodded then turned to Sawyer, "Luke, you're going to be following Ana. I know I dealt with the threats against her this isn't over, even if that dick is in the ground. He was not working alone and whoever his accomplice is, may try to use Ana again. The public thinks that I broke up with her because she means nothing to me but I don't want to take any chances where she's concerned. Whoever this cunt is, he may think Ana is back because we're together or something."

Luke nodded. Following Ana without her catching on would be no easy task. Neither was working for Christian over the past three years but he was glad to return to his old post. Ana had come to earn a special place in his heart. He would have loved to beat Christian for hurting her the way he did but he understood the motive behind his boss' actions.

As the two men left his office, Christian took out a tumbler of scotch and sat nursing his drink and staring at the photos he had of Ana from those years ago. He always returned to them, they brought him solace. He couldn't believe that he allowed this to get so far. His past had come back to bite him in the ass a few time before and he handled it. He just never had someone who he loved in his life before. He was never responsible for anyone before. If anything had happened to Ana because of him, he wouldn't be able to survive. He would rather have her believe that he didn't love her that she get hurt because of the people he encountered. But this time, he didn't screw anyone over. He didn't have anything to do with his father returning. Why did this have to happen when he was finally happy and willing to forget all the shit that his biological mother had caused?

Thinking back, Christian wondered what led him to this depressed, lonely stage in his life. His biological father had suddenly emerged. He didn't know how he knew that Christian was his son but he showed up demanding money. Christian was more than willing to pay the man the million he wanted, that was pocket change to Christian. The bastard got greedy though, and he wanted more. And he was willing to do anything to get it. The sick bastard had started following Ana. He was good too because neither Sawyer nor the other 2 CPO's Christian hired saw anything out of the ordinary. When he received those photos of Ana a few nights before their rehearsal dinner, Christian lost it. He had been in Ana's apartment. He had photos of her in her bed, photos of her changing, even photos of her in the shower! If Christian didn't give him what he wanted, the photos of Ana would have been leaked and if possible, Ana would have been sold to the the highest bidder. His father was friends with some very nasty people. Apparently blackmailing and extorting people was his full time job.

The night of their rehearsal dinner was what really forced Christian's hand. Ana was back at the hotel with her parents and Kate as well as so much security that even the President of the United States would not be able to get within 2 floors of Ana. Christian had agreed to meet with the prick at Escala, ready to hear his demands. He already had a duffel bag with 20 million in cash waiting for "daddy dearest". As soon as the money had passed hands however, Christian received an email, with a picture of Ana in her hotel room, on her bed.

Staring at Christian's livid face, the smug bastard said, "I am so lucky you love that little bitch as much as you do. This is going to be so much easier that I thought. Count yourself lucky though, at least I won't have to sell this one like I did your whore of a mother. You'll pay more than a pimp ever could."

Christian tossed his glass across the room when that thought crossed his mind. It took a lot for him to deal with that situation. But he had to convince Ana that he didn't love her. She wore her heart on her sleeve so even if they pretended to be broken up, the world would have known differently. Breaking up with her was the only way. And the only way he could get her to leave was by telling her he didn't want her. She always used to say that the only way she would ever leave him was if he didn't want her anymore, if he wanted her to leave. So he used that. He exploited her greatest weakness. Convinced her she wasn't good enough for him. He also leaked that cruel letter he wrote to the public. He made sure that the world knew that Christian Grey was not in love with Anastasia Steele.

Fortunately, his ploy worked. The prick with whom he shared DNA with honestly thought that Ana meant nothing to him. Christian suspected that it initially only worked because the bastard didn't know that Ana left Seattle. Christian didn't immediately know that Ana was in New York until 2 days after the fact.

But with Ana gone, Christian could focus on killing his biological father. And kill him he did.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So there you go. I really had no intention to write it like this but somehow my muse led me down this path.**

**As always, your reviews, input and comments are much appreciated. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you once more for the reviews.**

**Enjoy**

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Saturday morning Ana woke on her soft hotel room bed with a pounding headache that had nothing to do with the alcohol she consumed the night before, and her best friend watching her sleep.<p>

"Gah Kate, do you know how creepy that is? Watching me sleep? You're such a creepier!" said an amused Ana.

Kate simply rolled her eyes, tossed a robe Ana's way and said, "Get your ass out of bed Steele. Its moving day and I didn't wake up early to watch you sleep or mouth off to me."

After rolling out of bed, Ana packed up her stuff and quickly showered

She and Kate then checked out of the room, got breakfast at and then headed to her new apartment in Bellevue.

As they pulled up in front the building, Ana let out a loud gasp. Standing beside the 2 moving vans were Elliot, Mia and Ethan. She quickly got out of her car and met Kate at hers. "What?" said Kate upon seeing Ana's bewildered smile. "I called in re-enforcements. I wasn't about to lift heavy furniture by myself. Besides, Mia wants to decorate your new apartment. She said she'll only visit you if she has a say in how it looks," finished Kate with a roll of her eyes.

By the end of the day, Ana was fully moved in. All of the rooms were almost unpacked except her 2 guest rooms. She didn't really need those right away so she wasn't worried. Ana had to admit, Mia had an eye for design. Maybe that would be her new career? With Mia, who knows?

Ana was just about to go shower and hit the hay when her phone went off. A number she didn't recognise had texted her.

_**Hello beautiful Ana, are we still on for tomorrow evening? – Tristan (the incredibly sexy guy you met yesterday :p ;) )**_

Ana felt herself grinning like a fool as she read Tristan's text. She couldn't help the snort that escaped when she read his line about being incredibly sexy. If that wasn't an understatement, she didn't know what was.

**Hello incredibly sexy guy, I sure hope so. What time will you pick me up? -Ana.**

**You've just made me tremendously happy. I will pick you up at 5. –Tristan **

**Great! I'll see you tomorrow :) **** -Ana**

Ana tossed her phone aside and quickly pulled her laptop out. Pulling up the search engine she quickly typed "Tristan O'Callaghan". She gasped at what came up. Tristan was the son of the CEO of O'Callaghan International Co-operation, a fortune 500 company. According to her readings, Tristan was the farthest thing from a spoilt child living off his daddy's money. He worked his way up to Vice- President of the company and he was the main driver of the company's charitable organisations. Tristan O'Callaghan was a quite a catch by anyone's standards.

"Why the fuck is he interested in me then?" mumbled a stupefied Ana.

Ana quickly shot off her laptop and jumped in the shower. She then crawled into her new bed, so many thoughts running through her head. She eventually fell asleep with a smile on her face though. For the first time in a long time, Christian Grey was not a part of her thoughts.

Ana was a nervous wreck. She hadn't gone out on a date with someone she truly liked in a long time. And boy did she like Tristan. Not only was he incredibly sexy, funny and witty, he had a way of making her forget Christian and the shit he put her through. He made her think of sex. She only ever had sex with 2 men in her life. Christian had made sure she forgot the first guy but Tristan looked like the type who knew his way around the sheets. She was getting wet just thinking about it!

Ana checked her reflection one last time and she still could not believe that she looked as good as she did. She wore a short blue dress that stopped about mid-thigh. It nipped in at the waist and flared out from her hips. The neckline was relatively high, as it touched her collarbones, but she wore a clunky gold choker like necklace that drew attention to her neck. She completely the outfit with simple black pumps and a black clutch. She wore her hair out, parted at the centre of her head. It curled down in loose waves down her back.

She had just finished putting on her lipstick when the doorbell rang. She had given the doorman Tristan's information earlier today so he obviously encountered no problems upon entering. She opened the door and gasped, loudly. Tristan stood before, dressed in dark, very well fitting jeans, a dark blue shirt and a brown jacket. In a word, he looked HOT! If Ana wasn't in shock already, he pulled out a cascade of white orchids from behind his back and smiled shyly at her.

"For you," he said as he handed her the flowers. "And I have to say you look absolutely breath-taking this evening," he continued. Ana could only smirk as she saw his eyes linger on her legs a little longer than necessary as she leaned over her kitchen counter to retrieve a vase for the flowers he brought her.

Clearing his throat, he said, "Ok so this show starts at 6. I was thinking we make an appearance then we can go grab something to eat? Are you ok with that?"

"Sure, I'm all on board for that," she said as they left.

The art show was interesting to say the least. It turns out it Tristan's cousin was the artist hence the reason behind him having to attend. Ana enjoyed herself though. Tristan kept her entertained in mocking his sweet cousin's work.

The twosome left the gallery a little before 7 where Tristan then took her to a small Italian restaurant. They were seated immediately and Ana quickly ordered the chicken masala.

While they waited on their food, they talked, and talked and talked. About everything under the sun and about nothing at all. Ana found that she was really enjoying herself. Tristan was an easy man to like. She could easily see herself falling for him. An idea that scared her slightly.

Following dessert, the couple left the restaurant. Since it was only nine, they decided to go sit by the docks and talk some more. An idea that appealed greatly to Ana.

"Ana, if you don't mind me asking, why are you going to work at GP? You don't have to answer but from what I've gathered from the little you said of your past and observing you the other night, you don't exactly want to be around Christian Grey."

Ana sighed loudly. Up until now, they had avoided these heavier conversational topics.

"I know people think I'm nuts. Hell, even I think I'm bonkers. I didn't intend to actually do the interview. But when Ros, Christian's second in command, called me and told me that she recommended me for the position it got me oddly excited. Editing fiction books is my dream. And I want to be the best. If that's gonna happen, I'll have to work for the best. As much of as ass Christian is, he takes his business seriously. GP is the best in the world right now. I intend to make it even better. Besides, I want to prove to myself that I've truly, finally and thankfully am over Christian Grey. At least I try to convince myself of that. What better way to fight that battle than to actually see him every once in a while?" finished Ana with a shrug.

Tristan could only nod at her explanation. He just had to look at her to know that she wasn't even near being over the golden boy of Seattle but he liked her too much to say otherwise. Besides, he wanted to show Grey that how it felt to lose out on something he cared about. Grey was all about taking from others. Tristan was more than willingly to take Ana.

Following the heavy convo, Tristan drove Ana home. When he pulled up in front her building he got out the car and was about to escort Ana inside. She stopped him at the elevators however. "I think it's best if we part ways here," said a breathless Ana

Tristan, slightly disappointed, agreed. "OK, Ana, we'll do this your way. But can I at least give you a kiss goodnight?"

Ana couldn't think of anything she wanted more. "Do you really have to ask?" she teased.

Tristan quickly pulled her into his arms. As his lips descended on hers, Ana's heartrate escalated. She was expecting hard and rough. Instead she got slow and tantalizing. She sunk into the kiss, revelling in the feel of his hands on her waist and nape of her neck. He licked her bottom lip asking for entrance which she was eager to give. Their tongues duelled with each other. Ana grasped the hair at his neck and was really getting into the kiss when he pulled back.

Both were out of breath. Tristan leaned his forehead against hers. "Goodnight beautiful Ana," he rasped out. I'll call you tomorrow. Good luck on your first day at work."

Tristan then let her go, called for the elevator and turned and walk away. He stopped once to see her move unsteadily into the cab. With a shake of his head he got into his car and drove off.

Ana was shaken by that kiss. She got of the elevator on her floor and fished her keys out of her apartment. She turned the hallway and jumped three inches when she saw the person slumped against her door, knocking in a half dead manner and saying her name.

"Christian?" whispered Ana.

"Ana! You're here! I need to talk to you. I have to tell you my secret," he said. He started walking toward her but tripped over his own feet. He fell headfirst towards her.

She reacted quickly and before she realised it, she had a passed out, drunk Christian Grey in her arms.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Review please :) And check out the pics on pinterest **

**Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Once again thank you for all your reviews! **

**Enjoy :)**

**xoxo**

Ana let out a lungful of hair as Christian Grey collapsed in her arms. Thankfully, she remained vertical but she did have to shift her position slightly in order to balance both herself and him. She carefully toed off her shoes, trying her best not to jostle Christian too much. She had half a mind to just drop him from his place in her arms and let him sleep in the hallway but she wasn't that vindictive. Dragging the billionaire with her, she opened her apartment and with much effort, carried him into her apartment. Thankfully, Christian was in an out of consciousness so getting him into her bedroom and unto her bed was a tad bit easier.

Ana carefully pulled of his shoes, and patted down his jacket. She needed to find his phone. Surely Taylor was trying to locate his boss. When she couldn't find it, she decided to confront Luke. She knew he was following her. She had spotted him yesterday morning when she and Kate went for breakfast but she didn't want to bruise his ego so soon so she decided to wait till later in the week to "bust" him. Besides, she felt oddly comfortable knowing that someone was looking out for her.

Leaving the snoring billionaire on her bed, she quickly left her apartment and ran across the street to talk to Luke Sawyer, who sat in a black SUV, coffee in hand. He stepped out the car when he saw her approaching, no doubt believing she was about to chew him out. She surprised both of them when she pulled him into a hug.

"Luke, I missed you!," said Ana to the stunned CPO.

Luke cleared his throat, thoroughly stunned by her casual show of affection.

"I missed you too Miss Steele. Tell me, how long did you know that I was following you?" questioned Luke, with a hint of a blush staining his cheeks.

Ana smirked at the blushing man before saying, "That's for me to know, you to find out."

Luke narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head before saying, "What can I do for you Miss Steele? You look like you're on a mission."

Ana quickly replied, "Care to tell me why your boss is drunk and passed out in my bed?"

At Luke's surprised expression, she continued, "Yeah, Christian Grey is in my room as we speak. Does Taylor even know he's here?"

Luke quickly pulled out his phone and dialled his superior, "Hey T. Did you know that the boss was heading to Miss Steele's?"

Luke nodded at whatever Taylor had said before turning to Ana and explaining, "Taylor said he was looking for him for a while now. Apparently he got drunk in his study. Based on what Taylor pieced together, he was looking at pictures of you and drinking. He must have made the decision to come see you. He left his phone on his desk and took a cab here. He must have arrived before we got back from your date."

Ana chose to ignore the "we got back from your date" line before saying, "Tell Taylor to send over a change of clothes for him and whatever else he might need for work in the morning. Its late and waking him now will be hard. Oh and tell him send some breakfast. There is no way in hell I'm getting up earlier than necessary to cook for drunkie up there."

Luke relayed Ana's message and Ana went back to her apartment.

Upon returning upstairs, she placed a glass of orange juice on her night stand as well as some Advil and got out a change of sheets. She then made her guestroom bed and when to bed hoping that her first day would be less eventful than this weekend.

Christian awoke on an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room and a killer headache. He was still in his clothes from the day before but his shoes were on the floor beside the bed. Glancing to his left, he saw a glass of juice and a bottle of Advil. As he turned his head, he got a waft of the smell that clung to the pillows and he immediately knew where he was. Ana! He knew her scent anywhere. Taking the pillow, he inhaled deeply. Swinging his feet off the bed, he popped two Advil back and went in search of her.

He found her on her balcony, coffee mug in hand. She was dressed for work already, in a black pencil skirt that ended just above her knees and a long sleeved cream blouse. Her tiny waist was emphasized by a thick black belt and her dainty feet her black heels. In a word, she looked breath-taking. He cleared his throat to get his attention and frowned slightly when she jumped.

He felt his spirits lift a little when she gifted him with a shy smile. "Morning drunkie," came her greeting.

He laughed at that but immediately regretted it when his head throbbed excruciatingly. Ana smirked at him before saying, "Taylor dropped off a suit you phone whatever else you may need." She pointed out a garment bag and duffel bag on the couch then continued, "Help yourself to whatever you need in my shower and then come have breakfast."

Christian could only nod. He realised that she was avoiding talking about he did last night, or three years ago for that matter. "Ana, I'm sorry," he started, but she cut him off by raising her hand in the air.

"Christian, I know, you were drunk. People do stupid things when they drink. Just go shower, you'll apologise later," she said.

Christian, left with no other choice, gathered the stuff Taylor brought him and went to shower. While he donned the charcoal grey suit and navy tie that Taylor selected for him, he took quick pursuit of Ana's room. It was simple, homey and classy, just like Ana. He couldn't help the smile when he glimpsed pictures of her with Ray and Carla. The one with Kate howevermade him frown. He was the one that took that picture. They were both in bikinis on his yacht. Both were also drunk at the time. An ache settled in his chest when he thought of those times. He really messed up.

When he emerged, Ana had dished out a plate of pancakes and eggs for him. He took the plate, sat at the counter and began eating. When he was finished, he went out on the balcony to try to talk to Ana once more.

"Thanks for the breakfast Ana, he began, only to be cut off again.

"I only dished it up. Gail made it, Taylor delivered it," said Ana.

Christian gave her a shy smile at that before saying, "Ana, I really am sorry about interrupting your night. And now your morning. I was incredibly stupid."

"Yes, you were, Christian!" agreed Ana. "What the hell were you thinking? And what secret did you want to tell me? I know drunk people tend to say whatever is on their mind but you got me curious."

"I was thinking that I missed you. That I wanted to see you, to talk to you, to explain everything to you," he replied. He the continued, "Look Ana, I know that I was a world class jerk to you. I hurt you in the worst way possible, but I need to explain why I did what I did. Please tell me that you'll hear me out?"

Ana sighed, loudly. Taking a deep breath she said, "Christian, I promised you that we'll talk. Just give me a little time. I want to do this on my terms for once. Not because you suddenly feel remorseful for your actions."

Christian replied, "Ok Ana, I won't push you."

Relieved, Ana said, "C'mon, we have to get to work. I hear my new boss is a hard ass." She laughed at her own joke as Christian chuckled.

Christian pulled out his phone to call Taylor only get the shock of his life.

"What are you doing Christian? You're riding with me. Taylor is doing some damage control. Apparently Seattle is not used to a drunk billionaire riding a cab. I said I'll drop you since we're going to the same place. Of course, you can ride with Sawyer who will be following me if you don't think it's a good idea that we ride together," she rambled.

"Ana I would love nothing more than riding with you," replied Christian as he fought to contain his smile.

"Whoa Sir! This means nothing! I'm just making things slightly easier for Taylor, since you had him jumping through hoops last night looking for you," she quickly interjected.

"Ana, I pay Taylor to do the hoop jumping but you're right, this does make things easier," said Christian with a smile.

An exasperated Ana picked up her purse and trudged out the apartment with Christian right behind her. She locked up and they both got into the empty elevator.

As the doors to the elevator closed. Ana was suddenly very aware that Christian Grey, insanely hot, sex magician, could make her come up to four times per round of sex was standing just a foot away from her. Her spine tingled and her panties dampened. Her breaths became laboured and she had to grip her purse so hard to prevent herself from touching him.

Christian was far from immune to the sexual tension radiating off of her. He was hard, painfully so. Sweat found its way below his brows and his eyes were glued to her heaving breasts. The palms of his hands itched to pull her against his body.

He groaned audibly as she started nibbling on her luscious bottom lip. He couldn't help himself as she glanced up at him. He quickly stepped up to her, causing her to back up until her back met the elevator wall. She dropped her purse as her hands found its place on his chest as the bottom half of their bodies connected. The gaze was hot. If she wasn't wet before, the look he was giving her now made per panties slick with her need.

His hands were gripping her waist and his nostrils flared as her scent, a mixture of shampoo, perfume and a scent that was uniquely Ana wafted around him. He gently ground his erection against her, as he leaned in closer to her.

Her lips parted as his head descended towards hers.

Christian Grey was about to kiss her.

**A/N : Review please! :)**

**Also check out pinterest if you want to see any visuals of what i imagined! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N : Once again, thank you all sooo soooo much for your reviews. **

**Here is the latest chapter, I hope you all enjoy.**

**AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Christian Grey was about to kiss her. Ana didn't know if she wanted this to happen. Her body craved his lips on her. She wanted to feel his hands roam her body as he lost control. She wanted to kiss him back. There was nothing in this moment that she wanted more.<p>

Her mind finally caught up to her sexually charged body. Ana's eyes flew open just in time to turn her face. She couldn't make this mistake. It would be easy to fall into old patterns where Christian was concerned but she knew that it would only cause her pain in the end. Tightening her grip on the lapels of his suit jacket, Ana pushed Christian away just as the elevator doors opened.

Christian was hard and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her, love her, fuck her, but he was grateful that she had enough control to push him away. If he was to ever be a major part of her life again, she had to come to trust him again. She never doubted that he lusted after her. She would easily think that he was thinking with his dick at that time and just wanted her for her body. He knew how Ana thought. In order for him to get her to be his once more, he had to show her that he loved her, truly, madly, deeply loved her, not only lusted after her.

They both walked awkwardly out of the elevator, avoiding eye contact. Clearing his throat, Christian said, "I'm sorry Ana," only to get a cold hard glare from her.

"Is that the only 2 words you know Grey?" demanded a pissed looking Ana. "I've got 2 more words for you're sorry ass, "Broken record"," she continued.

In all honesty, Ana was pissed. She was pissed at herself. She was pissed at Christian. She was just pissed. How could she fall so easily under his charms? And he didn't even do anything!

"Christian, I think it will be best if you went with Sawyer this morning. I need to gather my thoughts. Besides, how would it look if we arrived together? It would definitely look unprofessional if you ask me," said Ana.

Christian nodded at her. He didn't want to ride separately but he understood that Ana needed her space right now. He could use a little distance as well. Her scent clung to his suit and she was looking at him with that adorable pout. The very same pout she used whenever she was done chewing him out for something. He knew that she had no knowledge of doing it. Three years ago he would have grabbed her and kissed her. Now, that would only get him slapped. Besides, he just resolved to not outwardly lust after her. A task that he knew would be more easily said than done. Whether Ana realised it, or not, she was any red-blooded man's wet dream.

"Have a good first day at work Ana! I'm sure you can handle you're hardass of a boss," said Christian with a wink. Ana laughed at that before saying, "Trust me Mr Grey, I know how to handle my asshole of a boss."

"I agree with you on that 100 percent Miss Steele," he finished before turning and heading to the SUV across the street. Upon seeing Sawyer's smirk, he said, "Not a fucking word Sawyer. It was more of a mutual decision to ride separating anyway," finished Christian on a huff. Sawyer knew differently, but he wisely chose to stay silent on the matter as he waited for Ana to get into her car. He pulled out behind her and drove towards GEH.

Ana pushed all thoughts of Christian Grey out of her head. She was about to start her first day as Editor in Chief. She was nervous and excited. This was the first time she was going to be someone else's boss. An entire department was going to depend solely on her expertise, her advice, and her thoughts. If she failed, the entire fictions department would also fail. Ross had faith in her, so why didn't she?

"Ok, Ana, you can do this. This is your dream job," she said to herself as she pulled into her designated parking spot at GEH. She quickly entered the building and was grateful that her first stop was the security's head office on the ground floor. She didn't want to be in an elevator with Christian again anytime soon.

He walked into the building looking the part of domineering, always in control CEO just 2 seconds after her. He nodded towards her as he got into the elevator and punched in his code for the 20th floor. He couldn't help the small smile that graced his features as he saw a slight blush colour her cheeks.

Ana looked away from him just was he smiled. The smug bastard! Shaking her head, she turned her attention to the security head office. A tall man in a black suit came out to greet her as soon as she reached the door.

"Miss Steele, welcome to GEH. Please come with me and I will fill you in on the details you will require," he said to her in a business like-tone. He handed her a file with the GEH and GP logo on it. "This folder contains your all access security pass. You are allowed on all floors except the 20th. That needs special clearance from Mr Grey's head of security," said the man in a no non-sense tone.

Ana knew her pass would be upgraded by the end of the day. Christian wouldn't have it any other way. She judiciously chose to stay quiet as the man spoke to her and explained the other items in her folder.

"You will also find your initial username and pin to your personal GEH and GP accounts. It basically syncs all your business data to your business devices as well as the main database. You will have to change you password as soon as possible. There is also an evacuation plan and map located there. We advise you study it and observe your best route."

Ana nodded at the tall, incredibly uptight security. Standing, she thanked him for his assistance hoping to crack a smile out of him. He just stood and escorted her out the room.

Rolling her eyes, Ana headed to the elevators and punched in her code to the 14th floor. She took the time to smoothen her clothes, wipe her clammy hands and take a deep breath. As the doors opened on the 14th floor, she was greeted by a petite red head.

"Miss Steele? I am Hannah, your personal Assistant. Welcome to Grey Publishing. Can I get you anything?" said the over-excited girl.

Ana couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "Hello Hannah, it's a pleasure to meet you. Actually, you can show me to my work area."

Hannah clapped her hand against her forehead and said, "Oh of course, silly me. Please accept my apologies. Come, follow me."

Ana followed the girl and was led to a vast, corner office. She was not surprised that the colours that dominated the massive room were white, black and grey. The main wall was consisted only of floor to ceiling windows that held a view that made Ana gasp aloud. Her huge, glass desk was positioned to face the double doors that she just entered and behind it stood a plush white chair that she couldn't wait to try out. In front her desk also stood two matching white seats. Her carpet white with a grey and black pattern. She admired the office greatly, too bad it also reminded her of Christian's office.

Shaking the thought from her mind, she approached her desk chair, sat and made herself comfortable. She then looked upon her assistant and instructed her to fill her in on her schedule.

"Ok, Miss Steele, you have back to back meetings today. Mrs. Foster would like to meet with you at 10 this morning. Following which you will meet with the other heads of departments. You will also meet with legal today to sign all other necessary contracts. Mrs. Foster also informed me that you were requested to meet with Miss Bailey at 1 today."

Ana nodded at her assistant and then proceeded to her first meeting. Mrs. Stephanie Foster was ecstatic that Ana took the job at GP. She heard wonderful things about her and her move to Seattle even brought some new clients. Anastasia Steele was going to do big things GP. No wonder Ros wanted her to be here. At first Mrs. Foster was sceptical. Nothing good could have come out in having the owner of the company's ex-fiancé working here. But Ros Bailey was adamant that they get Miss Anastasia Steele here. Stephanie Foster did just that and she was certain that she made the right choice.

Ana's day flew by and before she knew it, it was one o'clock and she was sitting outside Ros' office. Ana really never understood why Ros had insisted she come back but she was glad that Ros gave her the push she hadn't realised she needed to return to Seattle. She had been thinking about coming back for a while. She missed Kate, her dad, her friends, even Mia and Elliot more that she cared to admit while in New York. Ros' call with this job offer made up her mind for her. She actively made the decision to put her past behind her the moment she said yes to Ros. All the shit that happened to her since being dumped at the altar, the drama she faced in trying to mend her broken heart, not once but twice, even inheriting all the money she needed to keep her head, as well as Ray's and Carla's well above water for the rest of their lives made her stronger. All in all, she was glad that she moved back to Seattle and took this job.

"That's not what you were thinking this morning," came a voice in her head.

"Oh shut up," she retorted to that voice. Only she thought she said it in her mind.

Apparently she didn't when she heard, "Well hello to you to Ana. I know that New York is a big, bad city but I'm pretty sure they don't greet people like that."

Ana flew out of her seat and tripped over her apology, only to see an amused Ros Bailey standing before her.

"Come here and give me a hug, I'll try not to enjoy it too much," demanded Ros with a wink.

Ana did as she told, amused that Ros still play flirted with her. Three years ago Ros only did it to get a rise out of Christian. It pleased Ana to know that Ros hadn't changed much.

"Come into my office. We've got some catching up to do," said Ros as pushed Ana ahead of her into a neat, classy office that screamed Ros Bailey.

"So, Ros, how have you been? How's Gwen?" asked Ana. She was always at ease around Ros.

"Oh, you know, busy busy busy. But I'm loving every minute of it. Gwen's still as hot as ever," continued Ros. "Thank God for that! Anyway Ana, how have you been? Settled in and all?" finished Ros.

Ana nodded enthusiastically as she said," Yeah, I'm good. Settled in just fine, thanks to Kate, Mia, Elliot and Ethan,"

Ros nodded before saying, "Go on Ana, ask me why I specifically requested you for the job,"

Ana gasped, grinned then said, "You know me well, after all these years. So Ros, why did you want me for this job,"

"Good question Ana," said a sarcastic Ros before continuing, "I heard things about you. Some of our GP clients even requested you. You have a way of making the client happy and turning a profit at the same time. And you were only an assistant in New York. I could only imagine what you could do if you're in charge! Besides, you and I both know that this conversation has nothing to do with your work ethic. You're asking me this as Christian's ex, not Anastasia Steele, badass editor. Quite frankly, I don't give a fuck if you're avoiding Christian like the plague or if you two are fucking like bunnies. I would however prefer the latter since he was much easier to work with when you guys were doing the nasty but know this, I wanted you here because you're good at what you do."

Ana nodded at Ros' speech before getting up. Ana was glad. She knew deep down that she was offered this job because of Christian. He didn't even know that she had interviewed here but she was glad that she finally confirmed this.

Ana stood up, ready to leave but Ros' words stopped her cold.

"Ana, I don't know what happened between you and Grey but you should know that he loves you. Even if he says differently. It's practically written all over his face," said Ros.

Ana looked at the woman before her and stuttered, "Why are you saying this?"

Ros looked at her with pity shining bright in her eyes as she replied, "You know why Ana, Christian deserves to know that you were pregnant. He deserves to know what happened to the baby."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So it looks like Christian isn't the only one keeping secrets :p**

**As always, Review please. And forgive any typos, spelling and grammatical errors. There will come a day when I proof read, but it's definitely not this day. **

**Also check out my board on pinterest if you want to see what i sort of imagined in this crazy head of mine. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Once again THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS. :)**

**Here is another chapter. I'm working on the next one so it should be posted soon. **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Christian couldn't get that almost kiss out of his head. Her sweet, intoxicating scent still clung to his suit jacket, hence the reason he refused to take it off. He knew she was regretting her actions this morning but he was glad that she responded to him the way she did. Especially since he wasn't even actively trying to seduce her.<p>

Christian still couldn't believe that he let things get this far. She was back and it appears, for now at least, that she's safe. But the accomplice was still out there. Those photos of Ana were taken in real time. The one taken on the night of their rehearsal dinner was taken as she slept peacefully on her bed and sent not three seconds later. But the sneaky bastard was good. Robert Larson was dead, but who was the cockroach he worked with? Christian was worried. Ana's life may still be in danger. The list of suspects was too long. He had pissed off a lot of people over the past 10 years or so. He had made a lot of enemies. Then there was the list of persons who hated him from within the shadows. How could he protect her from an enemy he couldn't see? He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. So far since Larson's death, a few short months ago, no contact was made, but with Ana back, the accomplice might just be plotting his next move.

Christian sat back in his chair and stared blankly at his computer screen. He obviously wasn't getting any work done. His mind was just too preoccupied. He really needed to get in a good session with Bastille. He had too much pent up frustration to let out. He hadn't beat the crap out of his personal trainer for a while now. Since killing Larson, he put training on the back burner. All his energies were put into following any paper trail Larson might have left. Finding the fucking accomplice was Christian's number one priority, his newest obsession. Too bad he felt like he kept running up against a brick wall. Larson had covered his tracks well.

Taylor walked into Christian's office just as Christian got out his seat and started to pace. Taylor was flabbergasted. He had never seen his boss pace before. He must really be thinking hard.

Clearing his throat to get Christian's attention. Taylor said, "Sir, it was Ros that arranged for Miss Steele to return here. She arranged the interview and even called Ana. Her phone records show that Ros and Ana have been in relatively constant contact for a while now, since a little under a year after the almost wedding."

Christian literally spluttered upon hearing Taylor's findings. "What?"

"Sir, Miss Bailey was the one that requested that Ana full the position at GP. From the information we've gathered, she also convinced Ana to do the interview," repeated Taylor.

"Why wouldn't Ros tell me this? What is she up to?" asked a bewildered Christian.

"Sir, there's more, we ran a thorough check on Miss Steele, there are some things you might want to see," said Taylor as he passed a folder over to his boss. Christian now noticed it.

"Thank you Taylor. Have you found anything new on the son of a bitch working with Larson?" questioned Christian.

"Sorry Sir, Barney hasn't found anything more. All Larson's aliases lead to just another alias. I have as much men as possible invested in this, but so far, we have nothing new to report."

Sighing, Christian replied, "Ok Taylor, keep me posted."

As Taylor left his office, Christian opened the folder that Taylor left on his desk. He gasped at the contents. Ana left Seattle with her bank account worth just over 700 thousand dollars. He deposited it in her account for her to pay for the flowers for the wedding. Now, Ana's final balance estimated to be over 20 million dollars! How the fuck did she end up with all this money. Ana was smart but she couldn't make that much money in just 3 years! Could she?

Christian studied Ana's background check but paused as he came across her medical records. Something was not right. Her records just stated that she was rushed to the hospital a little under a year after they broke up, but it didn't say why she was rushed or when she was discharged. There was no accompanying file for that time either. What was the reason behind this?

Tossing the folder aside, Christian got up and left his office. He wasn't in the mood for another puzzle. Ana's life had changed since he last saw her. He would find out the truth eventually. Right now, his focus was Ros. She owed him some answers. Why was she in contact with Ana? Why didn't she tell him that Ana would be interviewing here. Not that he minded, even if he didn't love her, he knew that she would be the best thing for GP. But why didn't Ros inform him?

He was just approaching her office when he heard the one voice he would easily recognise in a crowded room. "Why are you saying this?" stuttered Ana.

Christian paused as Ros was heard saying, "You know why Ana, Christian deserves to know that you were pregnant. He deserves to know what happened to the baby."

Christian felt his chest tighten. Ana was pregnant? With his baby? How? When? Without thinking, he marched into Ros' office. He wanted answers and he wanted them now!

"What the fuck did you just say?" thundered an extremely angry Christian Grey.

Ana and Ros jumped as they heard the bellowing voice of the man standing in the doorway. Christian was pissed. He was seeing red. How could she keep this from him?

Ros was, for the first time since Christian knew her, silent. She looked worried, pale and quite frankly, scared.

Ana was a different story all together. She looked sick. Her face had gone as white was a ghost and before he could even move, she threw herself at the bin that Ros had near her desk and she threw up violently. Christian reacted instantly. He leapt towards her and pulled her hair out of the way while rubbing her back soothingly. No matter how pissed he was at her, he hated to see her like this.

Ana heaved over and over. There wasn't enough food in her stomach for her to throw up this much! When the heaving subsided, she lifted her head and was ready to get up but Christian stilled her.

In a voice that surprised both of them, especially considering the simmering rage within him, he said, "Just stay here for a few moments, take deep breaths Ana, it's alright."

Ana nodded at him, baffled by his calm demeanour. She accepted the monogrammed handkerchief that he passed her gratefully. She wiped her mouth and noticed that Ros was hovering nearby with a worried look on her face. She passed Ana a bottle of water and watched as the petite brunette opened the bottle with trembling hands and lifted the bottle to her mouth. Ros doubted that Ana even realised that she was currently sitting with Christian's arms around her.

"Ana, when you're done, come to my office, we need to talk," said Christian in the still calm voice.

Ros knew that voice well. It was a voice that hinted at the anger that was ready to break free. She watched as Ana nodded stiffly and extricated herself from her ex fiancé's arms. She adjusted her skirt and followed Christian out of the office.

Ros couldn't look Christian in the eye. She kept this from him as per Ana's request and she knew he was pissed. She simply watched the two most stubborn people she knew leave her office and head towards his. They were about to have a life changing conversation. Christian and Ana would not be the same following it. She could only hope that the outcome was a good one.

Ana felt sick. She was about to come clean about everything. Would Christian hate her? She had finally come to accept that he didn't love her. She doubted she would survive knowing that he hated her. She glanced at Christian as he walked beside her. He was quiet. That wasn't a good sign. He just looked straight ahead as they walked to his office. Without even glancing at Andrea he said, "Hold all my calls and reschedule everything for this evening. I am not to be disturbed for anything!"

They silently entered his office where he closed and locked the door. Ana sat on the sofa at the corner of his office. She needed to sit. She felt weak. She knew her legs wouldn't hold her up for long. Christian sat opposite her and just watched her. He didn't know what to say. He was angry. He knew that he needed to compose himself. He was pissed that she kept this secret but the logical part of him knew that he was the reason that she kept the secret. He was the one that pushed her away. He was the one that claimed to not love her. His actions were really coming back to bite him in the ass.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Ana looked up at Christian and said, "Christian I will tell you everything, but you have to promise not to interrupt me or get on like a jackass anytime during. If you utter a word while I explain my actions, I will walk out of this office and you will never get any other opportunity to talk to me again!"

Christian was about to protest but he decided against it. He was going to meet her halfway. He needed answers and something told him that Ana wasn't bluffing. She would walk out and never look back.

"Ok Ana, I promise not to interrupt."

"I found out I was pregnant about a month after you called off the wedding," started Ana. "Apparently a depo shot failed because I was two months pregnant then. Or you have some really powerful sperm," continued Ana on a laugh as she struggled to gather her thoughts.

"The pregnancy was difficult. I suffered from horrible morning sickness. I was also bleeding slightly but my doctor kept monitoring me. I was to avoid stressful situations. I guess that fact that I was so broken after the break up didn't help matters. But I kept myself together as best I could. My boss, and his boyfriend were the only 2 people who knew. They were my pillar of strength during the pregnancy. They made the midnight craving runs and rubbed my swollen feet. They knew that you were the father. They convinced me to tell you, but I couldn't. Just seeing your picture online left me in pain. I couldn't call you. It hurt too much. I knew without a doubt that when the baby was born, I would have put your name on the birth certificate. I knew that Barney monitored such things. I didn't want to think about you. I wanted to focus on our baby."

"Anyway, when I was about 7 ½ months pregnant, I agreed to meet with a man who claimed to be my paternal grandfather. Which is another story for another time. While I was in the hotel, I ran into Ros in the dining room. She was there on some business or another. I can't remember. There was no denying my pregnancy at this point in time. Ros immediately knew. She didn't have to ask to know that you were the father. She wanted to talk. The man who I now know is actually my grandfather wanted to talk. I became overwhelmed I guess. Before we knew what was going on, my water broke and I collapsed."

"They both rushed me to the hospital. Apparently I was bleeding behind my placenta. Placenta Abruption they called it," said Ana as she struggled to hold back her tears.

Christian was now beside her on the couch, his arms around her as she cried. His heart ached for her. For their child. He knew what she was going to say but he suspected that she needed to say the words aloud.

"Our baby was stillborn Christian. Our son died in my womb."

Christian let her sob into his shirt collar. His own tears were now falling unto her hair. He had caused all this. He had caused the stress that Ana experienced in her pregnancy. He was the reason that their son was dead. He always knew that Ana was too good for him. He just never realised how much havoc he caused in her life. She was the best thing that ever happened to him and yet he only left her broken.

Ana interpreted Christian's silence as anger. Pulling away from him, she said, "Don't be angry at Ros. She was going to call you. She was going to tell you. But I swore her to secrecy. I made her promise not to tell you. I told her I would tell you when I was able."

Christian opened his mouth to silence Ana's protests. To calm her and explain that the only person that he was angry at was himself but Ana continued talking.

"My grandfather also tried to get me to tell you. I didn't know the man and here he was trying to get me to call you. He only met me for the first time in person that day and yet he knew that the person I needed most then was you."

Christian nodded before saying, "Ana, I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am. You didn't deserve any of the shit that happened to you. You are so strong. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you."

Christian was crying. His tears were streaking down his face. He hurt her in the worst way. Ana lifted a trembling hand up to Christian's face. She wiped his tears away with her thumb.

Ana felt like a burden had been lifted. Christian knew her deepest,darkest secret. She felt lighter. Where would these new revelations take them?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So here are some answers. I'm sorry if its angsty. **

**As always review please. Your input is always appreciated.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here you go.**

**I hope I managed to clear up some things with this chapter.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Ana and Christian sat in his office, neither speaking. Both were lost in their own thoughts. Ana just bared her soul to the only man she ever loved. A man who didn't love her back. A man who would have been with countless women over the past 3 years, of that she had no doubt, while she tried to put her broken heart back together. Why did she love him so? Why couldn't she give him up?<p>

She tried dating in New York. The first year and a half was difficult. The only people she interacted with were her co-workers. She didn't even talk to Jose or her mother. The only persons who knew that she was in New York was Kate and Ray. She had sworn Kate to secrecy. She didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want to speak to anyone. She just wanted to be left alone and she was glad that Kate respected her wishes. She couldn't bring herself to enjoy life. She stayed home a lot. Lost herself in book after book. Her only solace came that moment when Kate would call her and give her updates on Seattle. Ana loved hearing Kate's voice. Hearing her bitch about Elliot always made her day.

Ana recalled when she started forcing herself to go out. She made an extra effort to dress up and meet people. She went out on countless dates. She just never let any of it go beyond the third date. To say that she was scared to let a man into her life would have been an understatement. She couldn't handle another heartbreak. She couldn't trust any man. After a while, the men she did agree to go out with got fed up of having the door slammed in their faces after the third date.

"Christian, can I ask you something?" asked Ana, pulling Christian from his thoughts.

"Ana, you can ask me anything," said Christian with a sad smile. He already knew what she was about to ask.

"Why did you let our relationship get that far if you didn't love me? Why the wedding? Just why?" asked Ana in a shaky voice. It pained Christian to know how much he hurt her. She suffered so much heart ache over the past 3 years. Christian felt sick to his stomach. He was so disgusted with himself. He betrayed Ana. He didn't expect her forgiveness. He didn't deserve it. But he was going to come clean about everything. He wanted Ana in his life, he needed her.

"Ana, I need to tell you something. I don't know how you're going to feel about what I have to say to you but I want you to know this. I love you. I never stopped loving you. That letter I wrote, it was all a lie. I did it to protect you. You are the only woman I ever loved. The only woman I will ever love again."

Ana only gaped at him.

"Ana, I wrote that letter to you, telling you those nasty things because I knew that the only way I could get you to leave was to convince you that I didn't love you. Writing that, saying those things was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I couldn't even deliver it to you in person because I knew seeing you hurt because of me, seeing you cry because of me would have cause me to back out, change my mind. It was the only way I could think to protect you."

"Christian, I don't understand. What were you protecting me from?"

"Ana, a few weeks before the wedding, my biological father showed up. He demanded money from me which I gladly gave to get him out of my life. He wanted more though and he started following you, taking pictures of you, threatening you. He knew that you were the one person in my life that I would give up everything for. On the night of our rehearsal dinner, he sent a text demanding that I meet him at Escala with 20 million dollars. I had Taylor get the money and I met him after we said goodbye and you settled in at your hotel room. When I gave over the money, a picture of you was sent to me. It was a picture taken as you were there, not one from before. Larson threatened to sell you to the highest bidder. He had friends in high places Ana. He made connections with people involved in very dirty operations. He had links in prostitution. No matter how much security I had in place, he and whoever was working with him got to you. I couldn't, wouldn't let anything happen to you because of me Ana. I would have rather die than knowing you were hurt because of me. On the morning of the wedding, while you were still sleeping, I got another email from Larson. He wanted me to meet him with 20 million more. I agreed after a picture of you was sent to me. You were getting massaged and must have fallen asleep on the table, but in the picture, there was a gun near your head. Security was outside your door. They were all over that floor. No one out of the ordinary could have gotten in, yet he did. That was what really made up my mind. I wrote that letter and had Sawyer deliver it to you."

Ana was shaking. Christian did what he did to protect her? He hurt her, broke her heart into a million pieces because he loved her. Ana could only stare as Christian explained himself.

"After you left, I had Taylor make sure that you got a good place to live. He hired a private security company to follow you, protect you. But not in the way I have my CPO's shadow you. They were to only observe you from distance and step in if necessary. The personal details of your life was not reported to me. I guess that is how I didn't know about your pregnancy. Sawyer convinced Kate to give you her place in Upper East Side but she didn't need much convincing. After I ensured that your security in New York was in place, I focused my attention on finding Larson and the prick he was working for. I leaked the letter I wrote you to the press to make sure that they knew that I didn't love you. I also started "dating" women. Made sure that I was seen with different women on my arm to prove that I was definitely over you. That was the one time I appreciated the press. They painted me as a man-whore who couldn't possibly love you. Larson believed it, the threats towards you lessened, I partly suspect because he didn't know that you were in New York."

"Ana, what I'm about to tell you will affect what you think about me. Please know that I did this to protect you. Taylor had a 24 hour watch on Larson. Our initial plan was to catch him involved in illegal activities. We wanted to catch him doing anything that could get him in jail and we did, a few times. That was when we noticed how deep his pockets really were. He had connections with law enforcement agencies, judges, even a politician or two. I guess he moved up the same way he got to me. Extortion and blackmail helped him reach far. He must not have liked his start at life any more than I did. Anyway, we realised that we couldn't trap him. He would spend a few nights in jail then come out. Even his record was clean! So I came up with a plan B."

"About 15 months ago, he called me, demanding 1 billion dollars. I convinced him that withdrawing that amount of cash would raise flags with the authorities but I would give him the money if he gave me a few months to withdraw it in parts and meet him somewhere on the out skirts of Seattle. I was surprised that he bought my explanation. He gave me the time I needed to get the money. I didn't need it for that purpose though. Luke and Jason were teaching me to use a gun. I needed the 5 months to come up with a plan. Luke, Jason and I then met him in an old motel that Taylor had cleared out the day before. Larson showed up and demanded the he and I be left alone in a room. I gave up the money and as I predicted, the prick wanted to go through the bag. He told me to stay there as he started going through it. As he went through the bags of cash, he gloated on how he had outsmarted the great Christian Grey. How he had won. He said that he won't make any promises about not coming back because he just might need more money but he said he wouldn't be back anytime soon."

"Ana, what he said next really pushed me to do the deed. He watched me in the eye and said that even if I didn't love you, he regretted not getting a taste of you. You looked so much like her, the crack whore. You would have been better than her as he…."

Christian couldn't finish telling Ana the nasty words that came out of his father's mouth. He looked at her, saw the tears swimming in her eyes, and saw her trembling form. He didn't know how to reveal the rest to her. Taking a breath, he said, "Ana, do you want to hear the rest? I know it's a lot."

Ana nodded stiffly. She needed to hear this. She needed to know the entire truth behind the cluster – fuck that became Christian's and her lives.

"He then went onto say that you were safe from him at least. The person he was working with took a fancy to you. He wanted you. That pushed me over the edge Ana. Luke and Jason knew that his words were my trigger so they barged into the room. Larson was surprised to see them. He pulled a gun on Jason, but Jason was faster than him. Luke and Jason disarmed him and got him to his knees. I won't go into details Ana, but I shot him. I put a bullet through his head as I looked him in the eye."

Ana raced to the bin for the second time that day. But she had nothing to throw up. Her stomach was empty. She sat beside the bin and took deep breaths. Christian moved to sit beside her and pulled her into his arms. He was beyond grateful that she didn't pull away.

"Deep breaths Ana. You're ok. I'm ok. We're safe now," he said hoping to sooth her.

His words had the opposite effect however.

"Safe?" Ana whispered. "You just told me that you killed a man Christian. You killed a man who threatened me, with friends in high places. How the fuck are we safe? How do we know that Larson's accomplice doesn't have footage of you killing him? What if you go to jail? What then?"

"Ana, Jason, Luke and I took all precautions to make sure that we weren't followed nor recorded. There is no proof out there about what I did."

"You don't know that Christian. You said that you had me covered in the hotel yet whoever it was got it and took pictures of me. They got so close to me after everything you put in place. How do you know it's not someone we know?"

"Ana, we covered our tracks. We studied some police records and staged it to look like an execution in a gang war. We all have alibis. I would never let Jason and Luke pay for something they did to protect you Ana."

Ana was worried. She was scared and quite frankly, she was pissed.

Christian was shocked when Ana suddenly blurted out, "Fuck you Christian!" and shoved herself out of his arms.

"Ana? What? What's wrong?" he fired out, confused at her outburst.

"Why couldn't you tell me that your biological fathered showed up? I would have stood by you. I WOULD HAVE HELD YOUR HAND EVERY STEP OF THE FUCKING WAY!" she thundered.

Christian only stared at her as she let out her frustrations. "You could have told me what was going on. You were worried that Larson would hurt me yet you were the one who hurt me. You broke my heart. You broke my trust! ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING COMMUNICATION ISSUES AND YOUR NEED TO KEEP FUCKING SECRETS."

Ana was pacing back and forth. She understood why Christian did what he did but it still didn't help her to forget the pain he caused her. The pain she suffered because of him.

"And another thing, did you fuck all the women you dangled in front the press, or only the brunettes? IF YOU THINK IM JUST GOING TO FORGET ALL THE HEARTACHE YOU PUT ME THROUGH, THEN YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING GREY! AND WHY WAIT THREE FUCKING YEARS TO TELL ME ALL THIS? WHY COULDN'T YOU COME TO NEW YORK HUH? IS IT BECAUSE YOU FINALLY SEE ME MAYBE MOVING ON WITH SOMEONE? TRISTAN IS QUITE A CATCH YOU KNOW?"

Ana was full out shouting now. Christian was eternally grateful that his office was soundproof. Especially since Ana was acting like a woman possessed.

"Ana, I'm going to risk sounding like a cliché but those women meant nothing to me. I only ever loved you. You are the only person I want more with. It was just fucking with them. I don't even remember their names. I couldn't pick them out in a line up if I tried. I know how I'm sounding. Quite frankly, I'm disgusted with myself but being with those women was how I coped. It was my way of getting a little control back in the life I fucked up. Screwing them was my way of clearing my head," said Christian.

"You are fucking pathetic, you know that right? How would you feel if I told you have slept with half of the male population in New York? Huh? How the fuck am I supposed to believe you when you say to love me and need me when I know that you were screwing everything with a vagina when you claimed to have loved me all along. If you truly never stopped loving me, your only focus would have been to get the Larson prick out of your life and get me back in it. You didn't though. You fucked brunette after brunette for what purpose Christian? If you really loved me like the way you claimed to have loved me, you wouldn't have been able to screw around so easily!"

"Ana, I'm sorry. I don't expect your forgiveness. I don't expect you to forget everything I made you suffer. But I love you. I never stopped loving you. You mean everything to me. I wish I could go back and do things over but I can't. My only hope is that one day you forgive me."

Christian held both her hands in his, his thumb started stroking her hand as she looked her straight in the eye. Ana hesitated. Could she trust him when he said that he loved her? He used to say it all the time 3 years ago and then he said he didn't mean it? Could she trust his word now?

"Christian I need time to think. If you haven't noticed, we dumped a lot on each other's shoulders today. I want us to get to a place where we don't end every conversation with me screaming at you and you apologizing. I want us to be friendly, cordial to each other, especially since I'm here to stay, but I have to learn to trust you. And that is asking a lot of me. You broke my trust. I don't know how to get to that place where I trust you again," said Ana.

"Ana, I will give you as much time as you need. I am not giving up though. I'm going to show you how much I love you. I'm going to show you that I never stopped loving you. I'm going to show you how worthy you are," he said with so much conviction, Ana could only stare at him.

She left his office. Her mind was in overdrive. So much had been revealed. So much secrets were out. They could no longer hide behind them anymore. Christian Grey loved her. He wanted her back. Ana didn't know why this news didn't make her happier. She wanted him to love her for so long. Why wasn't she screaming from the rooftops now?

Christian sat back on his chair and rubbed his face. He had revealed everything to Ana. But something Ana said got to him. Everything Ana said affect him a particular statement she made got him thinking.

"_How do you know it's not someone we know?"_ Her voice echoed in his mind.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As always, review please. And forgive my typos :/**

**Also I would just like to say this, Thank you to the people who are reviewing and giving me their input. Constructive Criticism is always a good thing. But to the people who just only have negative things to say, NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO READ MY FANFICTION!**

**To everyone else, i hope you enjoy this latest installment.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Here you guys go. I hope you enjoy this. I'm working on the next chapter as we speak. So it should be posted soon. **

**I tried to lighten things up a little bit in this one **

**Thank you all for the reviews. Keep them coming ;)**

**Enjoy**

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Ana wandered aimlessly back to her office. It was already 5 o'clock! Where had her day gone? Her head was pounding. Christian just confessed to her that he killed a man. He loved her, or so he claimed and he killed a man to protect her. She didn't believe him though. He claimed to have loved her before. He hurt her then. Who's to say that he isn't lying now?<p>

Christian Grey doesn't know what love is. She was too naïve back then to see it. He can't accept that anyone could love him. His biological mother and Elena screwed him up big time. If Elena hadn't done those things to him when he was just a boy, he might be able to accept love in his life. He just doesn't believe that he is worthy of it. Either way, he never truly loved her. He might believe he did but she could see clearly now. Christian Grey was a lost boy. The "love" that existed between them 3 years ago was never really love. It would have ended eventually. Christian would have cheated on her. The novelty of it all would have worn off. She could see it now. Richard Larson showing up and threatening them just sped up the process.

Ana passed Hannah, who smiled at her, and headed to her office. She was ready to go home and soak in a hot bath. Wash the stress of the day. As first days of work goes, Ana could definitely say that she has had better. Even working for Jack Hyde way back when she now graduated and started here when it was still SIP. She had just graduated and things were heating up with Christian. Jack was one of the most disgusting people Ana ever worked with yet her first day at SIP was still a tad bit more enjoyable that her afternoon here at GP. Sighing, Ana opened her office door and gasped aloud.

There, seated on her desk was a beautiful bouquet of long stemmed red roses and white daises. Ana couldn't help the smile that broke her face. Her bleak mood was still present but she did feel slightly better seeing the gorgeous bouquet there. She read the card that accompanied the flowers and felt her mood brighten.

_Good luck on your first day- Tristan._

Ana quickly pulled out her phone and dialled Tristan. She didn't want to think about why she felt the need to call him. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to act.

"Hello? Tristan? This is Ana," she said as he answered.

Tristian's smooth laughter surrounded her as he teased, "I know I'm a little behind with things but I have discovered the magic that is caller ID. I take it you got my flowers?"

"Yes, thank you. They're beautiful, "she said.

"I'm glad you like them. Ana, are you busy this evening? I would love to take you out to dinner?" asked Tristan.

Ana, sticking to her plan of not thinking, and just acting, said, "Yes, I would love to. Pick me up at 7?"

"Wonderful! I'll see you at 7!," said Tristan

Ana hung up the phone, packed up her things and left the office. She bid Hannah goodbye and got into the elevator. She was going to enjoy herself tonight. She quickly made her way to Sawyer who sat in the lobby waiting for her.

"Jeez Luke! Do you just sit here all day and wait for me?" she exclaimed.

Luke stood up, buttoned his suit jacket and said, "Not all day Ana, Sometimes I will sit outside your office," he finished with a wink.

Ana only smirked at him before replying, "C'mon, we have a date this evening. And I don't feel like driving home,"

Luke gasped, shocked he said, "You just said "we". I take it you're over fighting your security detail?"

Ana couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up her throat, "I can be amendable when I want to be Luke. Maybe I just like driving you crazy,"

They reached the SUV and Luke could only shake his head at her. It was good to know that she was still as maddening as ever.

As they drove to Bellevue, Luke couldn't help but ask, "So you going out with this O'Callaghan guy again?"

Ana nodded from her place in the back and said, "Why, you're going to report to his highness?"

"Ana, I couldn't give a fuck if you're dating. His highness as you put it, will know yes, only because it's part of my job description to report this to him. But I'm asking this as you're friend. Tristan O'Callaghan seems like a nice guy and all but I am going to tell you be careful. Tristan and Christian have a little more in common than their bank balance. That's all I'm saying,"

"Luke Sawyer, you gossip! Tell me. I am fucking sick of secrets!" she shouted from the back.

"Ana, I cannot tell you even if I wanted to. Tristan seems to genuinely like you. But my gut tells me he trying to get one up on Christian," he says.

"Wait, Christian knows this and I can't believe I'm saying this, but he's still letting me see Tristan?" said Ana disbelievingly.

"Who says anything about Christian knowing? I left that titbit of information out when I gave Christian the info he demanded on the "fucker who bid on you"."

"I'm so confused right now Luke."

"Ana, I'm saying this as your friend, as someone who views you as a sister, not Christian Grey's employee. You didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated you. I'm not talking about the letter. His motives behind that I get. I'm talking about him screwing around. Him having sex with those women. That's why I didn't tell him that Tristan may be using you. I wanted him to see you with someone else. Feel at least a little of what he put you through. I would have stepped in and diffused any situation if Tristan really is out to hurt you."

Ana sighed and stared out the window. If she was interpreting Luke's words correctly, a girl may be involved. Tristan and Christian may have fought over a girl or fucked the same girl or something along those lines.

"Of course Christian fucked some random chick. It doesn't surprise me," she mumbled from the back.

"Huh? What was that Ana?" said Luke.

"Nothing Luke, just the universe rubbing the fact that I'm pathetic in my face!" she growled.

Ana climbed out the van just as Luke parked in front her building. He could only shake his head at the most stubborn, and quite frankly, craziest woman he ever met. She could drive a saint mad! That was one of the things he liked best about her. He imagined this is what it felt like to have a little sister that you both wanted to choke to death and take a bullet for. Ana was going to have Christian walk through fire and jump through flaming hoops before she took him back. Luke was so happy that he had a front row seat to see his boss bend over backward for her.

Ana rushed into her apartment and filled up her tub. She stripped out of her clothes and tossed them aside. She got into the warm, soapy bath and dialled Kate.

"Hey babe. How was the first day?" came her best friend's greeting.

"Hey Kate, it was a day like no other. That I can say for certain."

"Is that good or bad?" enquired Kate

"Both. Definitely both. The work part is awesome Kate. Everyone is so nice. And they think I'm awesome, which I am so that's good," said Ana with a giggle. "And the client list! I've been dying to work with some of these authors!"

"But?"

"But, I ran into Christian and we had the mother of all talks. I'll fill you in later. I'm going out with Tristian tonight but can I ask him to drop me off at your house after? I need to tell you some things that I wouldn't want to do over the phone."

"Sure baby girl. See you tonight."

Ana hung up and got out the tub. She quickly got dressed and before she knew it, it was seven and Tristian was knocking on her door.

She opened the door and couldn't help the gasp that escaped. He looked mighty fine. He stood before her in a faded blue jean and a dark blue sweater. The white t-shirt he wore under peaked out at her. He wore a brown belt and what appeared to be worn brown boots.

Tristian looked at her and she blushed at the heated stare he gave her. She had put on a short red and white skirt that stopped a little above her knees and paired with a white button up shirt. She left a few buttons undone and rolled up the sleeves. She tucked the blouse into her skirt and added a thin brown belt to her waist. She completed her outfit with a black handbag and yellow pointed heels with a butterfly at the back. She left her straight, really not in the mood to do much with it.

As they left together, Ana couldn't help herself. She turned towards the SUV and waved at Luke and winked. He narrowed his eyes at her. He clearly believed that she was up to no good. Tristan frowned at her, clearly confused at her antics.

"Don't ask. That's my friend/CPO. He thinks I'm nuts. I'm just proving him right," she said.

Tristan laughed at her explanation as they drove towards a Greek restaurant that Tristan loved going to. He had known the owners since he was just 6 years old.

"So I take it by your incredible mood that your first day was good?" he asked.

"Quite the opposite actually. It sucked. BIG TIME!" said Ana.

"I am so confused right now then," he replied.

"Because of my crappy day and the revelations it brought, I've decided to just live. You know the let go, let God concept? That's going to be my new motto. I'm sick of overthinking and analysing. From now on, I'm just going to act. Consequences be damned!"

Tristan nodded at her as they pulled into the restaurant parking lot. They entered the restaurant and were seated immediately. The waitress took their orders and returned shortly after with their food, Shrimp Saganaki for him and Greek Fettuccine Alfredo for her.

They ate in comfortable silence for a short while until Ana blurted out the thought that was nagging her since her conversation with Sawyer.

"Who's the girl that you and Christian liked?"

Tristan lowered his fork and gaped at her as she slapped her hand to her forehead. Her brain to mouth filter always let her down!

"He told you about that, did he? Try to convince you to not date me? I'm surprised he even remembered her."

"Tristan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blurt that out like that. And no, Christian didn't tell me shit. My CPO said something that got me thinking. I didn't even know if that was the truth of the matter. All I know is Luke warned me to be careful around you. That you may have an ulterior motive."

Sighing, Tristan said, "Her name was Natalia. And she was my fiancé."

Ana stared, wide-eyed as Tristian explained his past and its connection to Christian Grey.

"We were engaged for almost a year up until a year ago. I thought we were in love. I was naïve enough to believe we could go through anything together. Anyway, we got into a fight one night. About babies and raising a family. About my lack of commitment to her and my over-attention at work. How she changed her entire life to be with me and I don't make any compromises. It was nasty. We said some horrible things to each other. Our social obligations had to be fulfilled though, so we attended this gala separately, for the children's hospital, pissed at each other. That was where she met Christian. I didn't realise he had a type though. Until I saw him desperate to win you the other night at the charity event. Brown hair, blue eyes."

Tristan looked up at her as a dark look crossed his face.

"I don't think Christian knew that she was engaged though. She took off her engagement ring. They slept. I found out after when she came home after spending the night with him. She was crying. She said she couldn't go through with the wedding after what she did. She felt disgusted with herself. It was then that she confessed that Christian wasn't the only man she had slept with. Our argument just made me more aware. She told me that I didn't pay attention to her, so I did that night. I guess that was how I noticed her and Grey. She packed her stuff and said that she couldn't stay here and become Christian Grey. She couldn't use sex to fill a void in her life. She went back to Nashville. I haven't heard from her since that night when I begged her to stay."

"Oh, Tristan. I'm so sorry," began Ana. "I know what it feels like to be betrayed by the one you love."

"Ana, I owe you an apology. I admit when the only reason I started bidding on you that night was because I realised that Christian Grey wanted you."

Ana sighed, "I figured as much," she said before continuing, "Do you still love her?"

"I never stopped Ana. But I like you. You're a breath of fresh air. I didn't expect to like you as I do. Then when we went out the other day and you talked about being over Grey I realised how much alike we are."

"We make quite a pair don't we? In love with other people who have little regard for our feelings."

"Yeah, we do. We should form a club." Tristan said with a laugh.

As Tristan drove her to Kate's, they laughed at their pathetic love lives. Yes Ana loved Christian, but she wasn't in love with him anymore, at least she hoped so. Tristan was still hopelessly in love with Natalia. He missed her. Ana understood how he felt. But she wasn't what would be best for him. He wanted Christian to suffer. Even if she slept with him now, neither one of them would feel good about it after.

"Tristan, I meant when I said that I was done thinking, and just acting now, but I think its best we remain friends. No matter how hot you are," she said with a grin.

"Ana, you're right. I'm holding you to that friend statement though."

"Absolutely! I mean it. I want to be your friend. Besides, who's going to attend those insipid social events with me when I need a date," she finished with a wink.

"Oh Ana, I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship."

Meanwhile, Christian was pacing back and forth. With Ana back here and she finding out everything, he was really beginning to see how much he messed up. Not only did he push Ana away, he distanced himself from his family. He only attended family events when it would be questioned publicly why he wasn't there. Hell, he didn't even know about Kate's and Elliot's engagement until a few weeks after. He found out from the press!

He didn't realise how much pain he caused everyone he loved. He and Elliot were never incredibly close but when he and Ana was together, Elliot and he had gotten closer. It pained him to realise how much of a jerk he had become. He didn't even know about his own brother's engagement.

Grabbing his keys, he left his penthouse after informing Taylor of his intended destination, he drove to Kate's and Elliot's house. Elliot designed and built it himself, and it always impressed Christian just how talented his brother was.

He took a deep breath, and walked up to the front door. He hesitated slightly before knocking. "You can do this. Time to make amends Grey," he mumbled to himself. He smiled as he realised he still had the habit of talking to himself, a habit he picked up from Ana three years ago.

He knocked and the door opened to reveal a very shocked looking Kate in a blue track suit and her hair in a messy bun atop her head.

Kate was in a complete state of shock. The last time Christian showed up at their house was…..never. He wasn't here when they moved in about 2 years ago. He was dressed casually in a pair of light faded jeans, a green sweater and a brown leather jacket. She recognised the brown boots Elliot had given him for Christmas a few years ago.

She stepped stiffly to the side to allow him inside but she was so confused. Did Ana tell him to meet her here? Were they back on friendly terms?

Clearing his throat, Christian looked Kate in the eye as he said, "Kate, is Elliot here? I really need to speak to him."

"Um, yeah? He's down in the gym. I'll show you the way?" said Kate. She was aware that she stated her reply as a question but Christian's presence in her house confused the shit out of her. The only reason she maintained the façade of civility when they were together at social events was for Elliot's benefit. But she had made it clear to the prick how she felt about him. Kate knew Ana. She knew Ana would forgive the asshole eventually and allow him back into her life, whether just as friends or more is yet to be determined, but Kate was going to watch him like a hawk. You only get one chance with Katherine Kavanagh.

Kate showed him to the gym and left him outside the door. "Go on in." she said in a bewildered tone and left.

Christian waited until Kate was out of sight before entering the gym. He wasn't the least bit shocked to see Elliot not working out. His brother, dressed only in a dark blue workout pants, made himself comfortable on a bench and was cussing at a television screen bolted to the wall. Christian let out a chuckle upon seeing that Elliot was cussing at an old Mariners game.

"Hello Lelliot," he said which made Elliot jump 3 feet in the air.

He looked as Christian approached him and by the nervous look on his baby brother's face, something wasn't right. "What Christian? Is someone hurt? Are you okay?" rush out Elliot.

"Everyone is fine. But everything is far from okay Elliot. I've been a royal jerk, a colossal prick to you, to Ana, to everyone who cares about me. I've come to apologise. Maybe fix things between us? Get my big brother back in my life maybe?"

Elliot stared at Christian in complete and utter shock.

He never thought that he'd see the day when Christian Grey apologised to anyone.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I hope you enjoy. **

**I forgot to mention in yesterday's post that there were some things i posted on pinterest if you guys wanted to see what i envisioned as i wrote Chapter 12. Check it out if you like...the link is in my profile.**

**Thats all **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>"Christian, no matter what you do, I will always be your big brother. Even if you're a colossal prick," finished Elliot. He knew Christian almost his whole life. He knew that his brother loved him. Christian just didn't know how to show it to others.<p>

"Lelliot, I missed you," said Christian. "I swear to you, I will make it up to you. Treating you guys the way I did, pushing you all away. Missing your engagement and your moving here, your birthdays and Christmas. I was a crappy brother."

"Yeah, Christian, you were. But luckily for you, you have me as a brother. I love you bro. Mia might be another story all together but I've got your back! Buy her something shiny, she'll love you again" teased Elliot.

Christian smiled at his big brother, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. Elliot was his truest friend.

"So you and Ana talked today huh?" said Elliot.

"You're just going to jump right in aren't you?" questioned Christian. He knew it was on his brother's mind. He knew his brother wanted to know his version of the events that went down. Kate would no doubt tell him what Ana told her but Elliot wanted the whole story.

"Hey, I'm just making up for lost time. You're the one that avoided me for 3 years remember? I'm just catching up," said Elliot with a wink

Christian shook his head at Elliot, relieved that Elliot was already making jokes about his absence. His brother had already forgiven him and moved on. Elliot Grey didn't hold grudges. He loved his brother even when he was an ass.

"Yeah, I told her why I did what I did. I also told her I loved her and wanted her back," said Christian. Elliot looked at his brother and for the first time, saw him shift nervously and fidget back and forth. Christian was avoiding eye contact with him and that ever-in control façade that he wore so well was gone. Elliot immediately knew that his baby brother was hiding something.

"Christian, what the fuck are you hiding? You didn't tell Ana everything did you?" demanded Elliot

Christian looked Elliot in the eye as he said, "No, I didn't."

"I told her why did what I did. Why I wrote her the letter and let her go. I'm not going to tell you the reason. Trust me when I say its better you don't know. I didn't tell her why I didn't come after her when I fixed the situation."

"Christian stop with the cryptic bullshit and tell me," said an annoyed Elliot.

"I was scared Lelliot," said Christian as he turned his back on his brother. He finally made the admission out loud. He finally admitted to himself, to Elliot what he truly felt.

"What?" whispered Elliot.

"I am scared El. Being with Ana changed me so much. I love her. I truly do. But I'm no good for her. She is the epitome of pure and innocent. She is everything that I'm not. I left her that day to protect her from something. But I didn't return to her because I was trying to protect her from me El. I could only hurt her in the end. She deserves better than me. My past came back to bite me in the ass and Ana is the one that was affected. "

"Wait, did you always feel like this? Even when you were together 3 years ago?"

"Yeah. I would wake up every day waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for her realise how screwed up I am. Waiting for her to leave me," whispered Christian as he took a seat on the bench that Elliot had vacated. He braced his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands.

"You are a son of a bitch, you that that right? How could you make that decision for her? Ana is strong. She knows how much she can handle. If she started to feel overwhelmed by you, I'm pretty damn sure she would have told you," said an exasperated Elliot.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "Wait, is that why you made sure that the media portrayed you as a man-whore. You wanted Ana to know that you were screwing around?"

"I needed the media to know that I was never in love with Ana. Like I said, it was to protect her. That's why I dangled those women in front of every waiting paparazzi. But I didn't sleep with them. I only let Ana believe that. I slept with about 5 women in total. And that was only within the last 10 months or so. I only let people believe that I was screwing countless women."

Christian then explained who he slept with and why. "About 10 months ago, I did something that I never thought I'd do El. I don't regret what I did. It was to protect Ana. But I felt so horrible after. I went out drinking. Taylor was pissed at me but I went anyway. Anyways, this girl approached me, she reminded me of Ana and the next thing I know, we slept together. In a dirty motel room. I left the morning after, with a killer hangover and never saw her again. I repeated the pattern once or twice. I would go out, get drunk and have a one night stand with a girl that looked like Ana. I only slept with 2 women who I may possibly run into again, some brunette at this gala I had to attend and Giselle. She was the only one that I slept with more than once though."

"Why did you let Ana believe that it was so much more than it really was? Why do you always let people believe the worst of you?" asked Elliot as he took a place next to Christian?

"I don't know El. Flynn thinks it's because I don't think I deserve love in my life. That's why I pushed Ana away. That's why at the first sign of something real, I panicked and bolted."

"So you still see Flynn?"

"No, I stopped seeing him a few months ago. After my second night stand. I felt so disgusted with myself El. I couldn't admit to myself that I was spiralling out of control and that I needed help. I just wanted that control that I get with sex. That feeling where I'm in complete control. Those women did that for me. I didn't feel anything for them so it was easy to just let myself go. I had no control with Ana. I loved her too much." Said Christina

"Bro, I think you should tell Ana this. And start seeing Flynn again. And I want you to remember this, you may have fucked up Christian, but you are not a fuck up. You are one of the most generous, loving people I know. You had a piss poor start at life but look where you are now. You're the one that helps people out if the life you were born into. You're the one that gives people jobs. Allow them to keep a roof over their heads. You, more than anyone I know, deserve to be loved."

Christian could only stare at his brother. His words made complete sense but Christian didn't agree with them. He had done too much to Ana, to those he loved. He didn't deserve their love.

At the same time of the brothers deep conversation, Ana and Kate sat in Kate and Elliot's impressive kitchen eating ice-cream straight from the container. Kate had told Ana that Christian was there just as Ana arrived and Ana went straight for the kitchen. She needed ice-cream.

"So, you and Tristan aren't going any further huh?" questioned Kate after Ana told her what Tristan said to her.

"No, we decided it would be best if we're friends. Especially since we have feelings for other people. No one wants to be the rebound," answered Ana as she shovelled a huge mouthful of mint chocolate ice-cream into her mouth.

"Ana, how long are you going to wait? I mean it's not natural. You going so long without sex. There's only so much your right hand and a B.O.B can do!"

"Gosh Kate. Say what you really feel," laughed Ana.

"I'm serious Steele. You haven't had sex since when? I bet you can't even remember the last time you did the nasty!"

"Well if you must know, it was the night of the rehearsal dinner. I should have known then though. Looking back I realise how different it was. It was like he was saying goodbye."

"Oh Ana, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, its time you move on. Hook up with someone."

"Kate you know how I feel about sex. I'm not trying to insult you but you and Christian have the same views on sex. Well you did until you met Elliot. You guys view it just as an act. As part of everyday life. Like breathing, or eating. I don't. To me love and sex go hand in hand. You know I tried casual sex in college. I didn't like how I felt afterward."

"Yeah, but that was with Scott. He couldn't possible know what he was doing."

"Kate!" admonished Ana as Kate smirked at her. "He was a little um…bumpy at first but it wasn't that bad. I didn't have anything to compare it to so it didn't really matter? I mean he couldn't hold a candle to Christian but he did get the job done."

Kate laughed so hard, she snorted as her best friend just glared at her. "My point is Kate, I know what casual sex is like and I know what sex is like with someone I love. I don't think I can have casual sex again."

"Ana, all I'm trying to say is that you've closed yourself off. How could you possibly find love again if you hold everyone at an arm's length? You don't let anyone in."

"I'm trying to work on that Kate. It's just hard to trust anyone. The one time I let someone in, let my guard down and let someone past the walls I put up to prevent myself from getting hurt, I got burned. Christian hurt me so bad Kate. I don't know how to let anyone in. How do I know I won't get hurt again?"

"Ana, sweetheart, it's all in the risk. Love is worth any risk. You deserve love in your life. You're always taking care of people. You deserve to be cared for."

The girls fell silent just as they heard the footsteps of the men approaching. Ana looked to Kate quickly. She didn't know how to act around Christian in light of his recent confession.

Both men entered the kitchen. Elliot had neglected to tell Christian that Ana was going to be here. He enjoyed the time with his brother and he knew Christian would have left if he knew Ana was coming over. Kate glared at them both when they entered the kitchen. Ana smiled at Elliot and flashed a quick look to Christian.

Ana just had to look at Christian and she saw a change about him. He looked like a major burden was lifted off his shoulders. She was glad that the brothers were back on speaking terms. Christian was looking a little more human and it was clear in the way that the boys fought for the ice-cream that she and Kate abandoned that they missed each other. Christian wasn't a person to show off his feelings but he was clearly showing his love for his brother. She smiled at seeing Elliot and Christian happy.

"Gosh Kate, I hate this flavour of ice-cream!" bellowed Elliot.

Kate, Ana and Christian laughed aloud at Elliot because at the same time he picked up the container and proceeded to eat it. He even slapped Christian's hand away as he went to get another spoonful.

"You're a dirty fucking liar Elliot Grey," teased Kate.

Ana smiled at the couple. Theirs was a relationship that Ana knew was true. They loved each other to no end. They fought like cat and dog, but Ana knew that was just how they communicated. Elliot would not have given Kate a second glance if she wasn't so outspoken and stubborn. Kate wouldn't care for Elliot if he wasn't the carefree, outgoing guy he was. Theirs was a match that was meant to be. She couldn't be happier that her best friend found her soulmate.

Ana looked up to see Christian looking at her with a serene smile on his face. He slowly approached her as she sat on the stool in front the breakfast bar. His hand reached out and before she could stop him, he wiped his thumb across her lip and lifted it to his mouth.

At her gasp, he said, "You got a little ice-cream there."

Ana rolled her eyes at him and commanded her jumping heart to calm down.

"So, since you and Christian are friends again, does this mean we can set a date for the wedding?" said Kate as she wrapped her arms around her fiancé.

"You guys didn't set a date because of me? Why?" questioned Christian in a confused voice as he looked upon his brother and fiancé.

"Because bro, I need you there. I need my best friend to stand beside me as I marry the girl of my dreams. I wouldn't have it any other way," said Elliot in a voice that made Christian hold back tears.

"Lelliot, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise how my messed up life affect yours."

"Christian, you're forgiven. Now would you be my best man?"

"Of course Lelliot. You don't have to ask me twice. As long as it's ok with you Kate," said Christian as he looked upon Kate. He knew that he was Kate's least favourite person and he didn't want to affect her wedding day.

"Christian, nothing would make me happier than seeing my fiancé happy. So I think I can tolerate you," said Kate with a wink. "Besides, we're going to be siblings."

Christian smiled at her. Ana knew it was a real smile. Not the fake smile he did whenever he was pretending that he liked someone or something.

"So, I guess we're getting married!" said Elliot.

Ana ran up to Kate and hugged her before she hugged Elliot. Elliot was then pulled into a hug by Christian. Kate and Christian exchanged an awkward embrace. Ana and Christian stood next to each other avoiding eye contact. She raised her arms then lowered them as he shuffled from one foot to another.

They were saved from the very awkward situation as the phone in the kitchen rang out. Both of them jumped apart as Kate and Elliot exchanged knowing looks.

"I bet you all Christian's money I know who that is," said Elliot to Kate.

Both Ana and Christian looked at the couple with confused expressions just as Kate said, "OH right, its 9:30 on a Monday night. Just like clockwork."

"What the fuck is going on guys?" demanded Ana. Christian nodded emphatically beside her.

"That would be Jose. Every Monday of every month for the past 3 years he calls at 9:30 to find out how Ana is going," said Elliot.

"Why?" questioned Christian. "Why can't he call you Ana?"

"I don't know. He didn't have my New York number?" said Ana.

"Ana, you and I both know you told me not to give him your number after what he did. I assume Ray also listened to you since I'm guessing he doesn't know you're back here in Seattle?" said Kate.

'What did he do Ana? Why the fuck are you avoiding Jose Rodriquez?" demanded Christian.

"He tried to get me to leave you and run away with him," said Ana in a quiet voice.

* * *

><p><strong>AN : So there we have it. Christian and Elliot are friends again and Christian comes clean. Ana also explains her celibacy and makes a surprising confession...**

**As always your reviews are much loved and appreciated. And like i said before, No one is forcing anyone to read this fanfiction. If you don't like it, don't read it...its as simple as that! **

**PS...I'm taking suggestions for FSOG ff...preferably with a HEA for CG and AS...I need something new to read. If you have any suggestion please let me know :**)


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello All.**

**This is not a new chapter. I'm kindly asking that you only comment on my story and refrain from attacking any other reviewer. I am not going to moderate guest reviewers only because of some of the very harsh things being aimed at other people.**

**I thank you all for your continued support of my story. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and as I stated before, if any one person doesn't like my story, they do not have to read it.**

**Also, thank you very much to those person who gave me suggestion for FSOG fanfictions to read. To the guest reviewer who suggested FS After the Boathouse Proposal, FS Having a Baby, FS Slow and Steady, College Neighbors, Forbidden Lust, thank you very very much! I have read all except College Neighbors.**

**Since I'm writing this today, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!**

**XOXO**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL. **

**Thank you all so much for your reviews as well as your support . I apologize about "Chapter 14". I really don't know why its showing up one minute and disappearing the next.**

**Also, thank you all SO SO MUCH for the suggestions. I've started quite a few new stories thanks to you wonderful people. **

**Just a reminder that this story is not a BDSM story. Christian does not practise it. He has no playroom. He liked rough sex and toys and whatnot but he doesn't practise BDSM. He was abused by Elena and he does have touch issues but no BDSM.**

**Ana was not a virgin when she met him but he was only with 1 person before Christian. **

**Here's the latest installment. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>"What? When?" demanded a very pissed off Christian Grey. "When the fuck did this shit go down?" he seethed.<p>

Kate saw that her best friend and future brother-in-law was about to have a major blow out. Grasping Elliot's hand she said quickly, "C'mon babe, let's go um….feed the dog." Elliot, giving her a bewildered look replied around a mouthful of ice-cream said, "We don't have a dog."

"Well, let's go find one then," said Kate quickly as she dragged her fiancé out the kitchen door and into their back yard. She could feel Ana's glare through the wall.

Ana looked upon Christian, his nostrils were flared, his jaw clenched and his hands were fists at his sides. We was pissed off. There was no doubt about that. She sighed loudly before saying, "Ok Christian, sit down, shut up and listen. Oh and pass me that ice-cream. If I'm going to tell you this I need sugar in any form I can get it,"

Christian passed her the ice-cream as he took his seat on the stool next to her. A smile teased the corner of his mouth when she saw that she still used sweets as a way of dealing with stress.

"Ok, Ana, talk." He said in a much calmer voice.

"It was the night of our rehearsal dinner, after we came back to the hotel. He turned up at my door, drunk. He said that he loved me. That he loved me from the moment that he and I met and that you were no good for me. That you could never love me like he could. That you would only leave me. He was right about that," said Ana with a roll of her eyes.

"Ana, I'm so…" started Christian.

"Shut it Christian, I'm talking." She said. He nodded his head but narrowed his eyes slightly at her. She ignored the look as she continued.

"I told him that he was drunk. That he didn't know what he was saying. That you were the one that I loved. That it would only ever be you. He said that you don't really love me and that I would be hurt in the end because you would eventually get sick of me. But he would love me forever and if I left with him I would be happy. He went into my room and started packing a suit case for me and said that if we left together we could be away from here, from you, from Seattle. He knew deep down that I loved him and that he could make me happy."

Ana recounted how the events unfolded to a silent Christian Grey, "I told him that I only ever saw him as a friend. That you were the only man I loved, the only man I could ever love. He kept pushing the issue though. He was adamant that I would be hurt by you. I remember him gripping my forearms and shaking me telling me that you were a horrible person who was not good enough for me. I remember slapping him and telling him to get out. That if he couldn't accept you in my life then I couldn't accept him in ours. He was stunned. But he left the room. Before he left though, he told me that he would never give up and that I would realise eventually that he was the person I was meant to be with,"

"Ana, why didn't you call security when he came in? Why wasn't anyone in the room with you?" said Christian in a voice that Ana knew well. It was the voice that said his anger was simmering right beneath the surface.

"It was Jose! He was on your stupid preapproved list of people allowed to visit me. He was the fricken photographer at our wedding for God's sake. Why would anyone think that I needed protection from my friend?"

"Yeah, but why didn't you call for Sawyer when he started pushing you?" demanded Christian in that "I control the world CEO voice" that he used so well.

"Don't use that tone with me Christian Grey! I didn't call Sawyer because I knew how you felt about Jose. You were always against our friendship. I thought it was the alcohol. I told Sawyer and the other security outside my room, Reynolds that everything was fine when Jose exited my room. He just had some questions about the wedding. I told them to help him back to his room. I honestly didn't want you to be pissed at him. He was my friend Christian."

"Fuck Ana! You do realise that you just gave me a main suspect in Larson's accomplice, right?"

"What? No…..no….Jose wouldn't do that, would he?" stuttered Ana.

"Ana, Larson himself said, the person he was working with wanted you. I mean that is half of the male population of Seattle but only Jose fucking Rodriquez had free access to you! FUCK!" said Christian as he pounded his fist on the counter top. "He had undeterred access to you at all times. Security would not have stopped him! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"

Ana stared at Christian as he got up and started pacing. Jose could have been working with Christian's father? Jose was following her? Stalking her? Taking photos of her? Threatening her and Christian?

"No, Christian. I don't believe Jose would do this. He may have had a crush on me but he would never hurt me like that?"

"Ana, you, yourself said that the accomplice may be somebody we know!" he said as he continued his pacing.

"Stop with the fucking pacing Christian! How can you be so sure Jose would do this?"

"Ana, I'm not saying this is for sure. But you are avoiding him. I'm just saying his connection in all this shit makes a whole lot more sense than any other person we know right now. And Kate said he calls her to ask about you every fucking week for the past 3 years. If that isn't obsessed Ana, I don't know what is."

Ana sighed. Christian was making sense. Jose claimed to be in love with her. He didn't want Christian and her together. He got his wish though. It just didn't work out the way he would have wanted. She stopped all contact with him as well.

Ana was pulled from her thoughts as she heard Christian say, ""Taylor, get me all the information you can on Jose Rodriquez whereabouts from the time Larson showed up. Cross match Jose's name with all the aliases we have for Larson. Right before I killed Larson he said something that I really didn't register until now. The accomplice is obsessed with Ana. It makes sense that the threats stopped when we broke up. He wants Ana for himself and Ana just informed me of a situation that basically moved Jose to the top of our suspect list."

Ana just looked on as Christian barked orders into his phone. As he hung up she said, "You're only now looking at Jose as a suspect? Didn't you do that already?"

Christian sat back down beside Ana. Their thighs touched as he turned his back against the counter and used it as a backrest as he mimicked her pose on her stool. He actively avoided thinking about her bare thighs where her skirt had ridden up just a little. Her beautiful skin was on full display to him. He doubted she realised that she was showing so much of her thighs to him.

"Ana, we we're looking into my enemies. People who I had pissed off, made enemies off since I started GEH."

"Oh, so although you hated Jose, you didn't really think that he was a threat to me then?"

"Ana, I never thought that he would hurt you. I just thought that he wanted into your panties. If I had known the fucker was in so deep with you, you can bet your ass your friendship with him would have be over!"

"Fuck you Christian!" Ana spat at him. How dare he say who she could be friends with? He was right about Jose's crush on her being much more than it was but that didn't give him the right to say who her friends could be. He remained in contact with the old psychotic hag otherwise known as Elena while they were together. He knew how she felt about Elena yet they remained friends. So how dare he say some ludicrous shit like "your friendship would be over". This man was maddening!

Christian laughed at her outburst. She narrowed her eyes at him looking for a weapon to hit him over the head with. Before she realised it, she too was laughing. She was laughing hard enough that she started snorting. Christian stared at her like she grew three heads before he joined in. Her laughter was contagious. He was laughing so hard now. Neither knew why they were laughing but it felt good. It felt almost cathartic. They were letting out everything. Ana had tears rolling down her face, she was laughing so hard.

Neither one noticed that they were closer to each other. Christian now had a hand placed firmly on her exposed thigh. Ana had her hand placed on his chest. They stopped laughing upon noticing they proximity to the other. Both of them were breathing hard. Ana could feel his warm breath on her lips. Her tongue unconsciously darted out and licked her lips as she moved her head closer to his. Christian turned his body so that his thighs were draped on either side of hers. His hand grasped her ankle and pulled her closer.

Ana wanted this. He was the only person who could piss her off and turn her on all the same time. Sticking to her no thinking, just acting routine, she reached up and grasped the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his head to hers. Her lips settled on hers. She took full advantage of his gasp, pushing her tongue into his mouth. Their tongues duelled as their lips locked together. His arms made their way around her tiny waist. The sheer feeling of pleasure she felt was too much. She let out a moan that went straight to Christian's groin.

He reacted quickly. Lifting her by her tiny waist, he placed her unto the counter top, never breaking their kiss. Her legs locked in place around him as his hands roamed up her thighs. He ground his very hard erection into her core, causing her to gasp. His lips left hers and started roaming down her neck. She wasn't having it though, she grasped his neck and pulled him back to her lips. They locked lips once more as their tongues teased each other.

Christian couldn't believe what was happening. He had dreamt of this moment since the last time he saw her. He had wanted to kiss her since he saw her again. He was beyond aroused. His pants felt too tight. He wanted nothing more than to lay her out before him, remove the clothes slowly from her incredibly tempting body and sink into her. But, he knew better. She would hate herself if they did anything more than a kiss right now. She would surely hate him if they gave into their urges and had sex. With that in mind, he slowed their kiss and pulled away from her. She looked up at him with bewildered, lustful eyes. He felt his resolve waning, so he quickly disentangled himself from her luscious, warm body and stepped back.

Both were breathless. Both were aroused. Both were confused.

He helped her off the counter and tried to discreetly adjust himself, looking for any room in his overly tight jeans, but it was of no use. Ana righted her clothing as she avoided eye contact with him. Her cheeks were bright red. Whether from her aroused state or embarrassment, he didn't know.

"Ana, I'm sorry about that," he said.

Ana held up her hand after fixing her belt that had been turned. "Don't Christian. That one was me. Sorry I jumped you," she whispered. If possible, her cheeks turned even redder.

Christian wanted to smile. He was glad that she "jumped" him. It meant that she was still attracted to him. He could work with that.

"Ana, you don't ever have to apologise for "jumping" me," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"C'mon, let's get Kate and Elliot back in here. We've held their kitchen hostage long enough," she mumbled, trying to change the subject.

"Afraid you'll jump me again?" Christian teased as Ana went to the back door and hollered for the couple.

Kate and Elliot returned to the kitchen and could feel the sexual tension radiating off the Ana and Christian. Elliot smirked as he saw his brother trying to adjust himself and wanted to laugh out loud at the blush that stained Ana's cheeks. He knew they didn't have sex but he could only imagine the colour Ana would give off if they ever did.

While outside, he had filled Kate in on Christian's most recent confession. He was in total shock when his fiancé, who had made it clear to him on numerous times how much she disliked his brother, took pity on Christian. She even said she would let Ana know that Christian hadn't been fucking all of Seattle. He smiled as he recalled their conversation.

"What do you mean he lied to Ana about the number? He didn't fuck all those women?"

"Nope Kate. He only slept with about 4 of them and that was with in last 10 months or so. 3 out of the 4 were one night stands. 2 of which he was drunk for. That Giselle bitch was the only repeat offender. And all the women reminded him of Ana in terms of looks."

"Oh. As sick as that is, I feel for the poor bastard. So he left her to protect from some unnamed threat? Then he didn't return to her because he was trying to protect her from himself?" question Kate.

She was beginning to see Christian differently. Before he was just the son of a bitch that broke her best friend's heart. Now he seemed more human to her. He went through all this to protect Ana and he still doesn't feel worthy? Talk about lack of self-confidence!

"Yeah. My brother wants Ana back. He's prepared to fight for her. But I think he is self-sabotaging the relationship before it can even get off the ground. He doesn't feel worthy so I think he is making Ana believe the worst of him. Make her choose not to be with him although he wants her so badly," Elliot said.

"Should we intervene? Or let the chips fall as they may?" questioned Kate.

"I say both. Give them the nudge they need and see what happens?" said Elliot.

"Aww, when you got to be so smart baby?" said Kate as they heard Ana call them back in to the kitchen.

Elliot could only laugh.

Christian and Ana left Kate's and Elliot's shortly after. They bid the couple goodbye with Kate promising to call Ana the next day. She told Ana that they needed to talk about something that was very important and they needed to start planning the wedding.

Christian returned to Escala, glad to have repaired his relationship with his brother. But he was worried. That breath –taking kiss that he shared with Ana may have caused them to take a step back after the 3 baby steps they had moved forward. And Jose! Could the bastard really be the accomplice? Christian went to his study as soon as he reached home and dove into work. He needed to get his mind on something else.

Ana was in a similar emotional mess as Sawyer drove her home. She just kissed Christian. She just threw herself at him. She was so confused. Especially after what Kate had said to her as she left. "Give him the benefit of the doubt Ana." Kate! Katherine Kavanagh had said that about Christian Grey. And to make matter worse, she just found out that Jose might be the accomplice.

She crawled into her bed and tried to get some sleep. Her mind had too much thoughts flying around. She was bone tired but her mind just wouldn't switch off. Her last coherent thought before falling to a deep sleep was that kissing Christian wasn't so bad.

Across the city, Christian jumped up, out of his seat when Taylor entered his study.

"Sir, Mr. Rodriquez's name came up once, with an alias that Barney only uncovered recently. The alias Craig Hanson was sending a monthly stipend into an account opened by Rodriquez 4 years ago."

* * *

><p>AN: Review please. But please comment only on the story not on another reviewer :/

As always ignore any typos. My New Years Resolution was definitely not to proof read lol.

Also, my pinterest board contains any visuals you may be interested in. I didn't post any persons for characters except Tristan only because I know some of you may have people in your minds as the characters already. I personally do not like it when i picture someone and that visual changes and ends up stuck in my mind because i see someone else in the role.

Thats all.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks you all for you reviews. Keep them coming. **

**Thank you also for your suggestions.**

**I've updated the pinterest board if anyone wants to check it out. **

**Enjoy**

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Ana awoke bright and early Tuesday morning. She had slept well considering the stressful day she had before. She found out so much about why Christian did what he did to her. So many secrets were revealed and so many truths came out. She felt lighter. Like a tonne of bricks had been removed from her shoulders but at the same time, her heart felt heavy. She found out that Jose could have been one of the driving forces in pushing Christian and her apart. Her best friend!<p>

And then there was that kiss! She couldn't believe that she did that. It was an amazing kiss. A steal your breath, make you wet and needy type of kiss but it was also a mistake. As hot as Christian was and as superb as he was at sex, she could never start something with him again. He claimed to love her but she couldn't believe that. She loved him. There was no point in denying it, but she couldn't trust him. He was with so many women when he claimed to be in love with her. She was in New York trying to move on with her life, trying to mend her broken heart. While pregnant! Then to have her heart shattered once more. Her baby boy died while the man who claimed to be in love with her was most likely balls deep in a random brunette.

Dragging herself into the shower, she prepared herself for work. She donned a grey pant suit and jacket. Inside she wore a cream silk blouse. She quickly braided her hair and let it fall to the side while her bangs fell around her face. She completed her outfit with a pair of her favourite black pumps. Glancing at the clock, she realised that it was 8:40 am and that she was running a little late. She decided to skip breakfast

She slapped her forehead when she remembered that her car was in the GEH parking lot. Sawyer would have to stop for her to get a tea. At least one good thing came out of having an annoying shadow trailing behind her at all times. She grabbed her purse and opened the door then immediately closed it as she saw who stood on the other side, with his hand raised, poised to knock.

She reopened her door with a scowl on her face.

Christian was standing at her door, again! This time he was as sober as judge and very serious looking. He was quite a sight in a crisp white shirt, black jacket and black and white tie. Her mouth went dry at seeing him looking his always impeccably dressed, sexy self. No human should be allowed to look so damn fine all the time. He should really be outlawed.

Shaking her head to clear the thoughts that were no doubt heading in a lustful direction, she eyed the coffee cup he held out to her.

"Don't worry, its tea. Gail made it just as you like it," he said as a way of greeting upon seeing her suspicious glance.

"Um….thanks?" she replied as she grabbed the cup out of his hand. She stepped out her apartment, causing him to back up as she locked her door. She could feel the heat coming off of him. She could smell his delicious cologne and after shave. He was making her think of all those morning where they were running late just because she had to have him after smelling his delicious Christian Grey scent.

"So what are you doing here?" asked Ana. She tried to sound like she wasn't affected by his presence here but she was. By the smirk on the bastard's face, he knew that she was affected by him and trying to hiding it.

His smirk however quickly disappeared when she asked her question.

"We found something connecting Larson and Jose," he replied in a soft voice.

Ana gasped aloud as the cup of tea tumbled from her trembling hands. "Wha…Wha….What? How? Why?" she stuttered out in a soft voice that broke Christian's heart. He would have loved nothing more than to shield her from their discovery, protect her from ever finding out that her best friend for many years had been involved in stalking and threatening her. But, he made a promise to be honest with her from now on. If she were to ever trust him again, he had to tell her everything, even if he thought she couldn't handle it.

"_If you're so honest, why let her believe that you were screwing every woman that walked past you," _came that overly annoying voice in his head.

Shaking the thought from his mind, he reached out to Ana, relieved that she allowed him to touch her.

"Ana, I'm so sorry about this. Taylor is looking into it. Maybe Jose was coerced or something. We don't know if he went into this willing or not," said Christian. He hoped that she believed his lie. The money that Jose was collecting was no small amount. It all about proved that he was a willing participant. Not to mention that the account was set up months before Christian first heard from Richard Larson.

Ana wiped her tear stained cheeks and pulled away from Christian. She knew that he was lying. It was obvious that he was trying to spare her feelings. She appreciated the fact that even though he never liked Jose, he was trying to make her feel better because he knew that Jose was an important person to her. These were the things that made her fall for him initially. The little things that he did for her.

"It's ok Christian. It just a lot to swallow. Do you know where Jose is now?" she questioned.

"Taylor has a team on it. We're may have to track the call when he calls at Kate's for you next Monday. But for now we don't know where he is. Maybe your dad does?" suggested Christian.

"I'll call and talk to him today," promised Ana as they walked to the elevator.

Ana looked up at Christian and bit her lip as he called for the elevator. She didn't think that she could be within such close quarters with him again. Especially after that kiss last night. She wouldn't be able to control herself with him in there. She quickly turned on her heels and was about to walk back to her apartment when Christian grabbed her elbow.

"Oh no you don't! I know what you're thinking! I promise to behave myself," he said.

She glared at him before relenting. "You may be able to behave but I'm not sure I can," she mumbled under her breath as she stepped ahead of him into the elevator car.

Christian was glad that her back was to him as he couldn't help the grin that formed after hearing her mutterings. He quickly composed himself and consciously turned his gaze to the door. He willed his mind to focus on anything else beside the tempting woman standing beside him.

Both were immensely grateful when the elevator doors opened. They hadn't noticed that they both moved closer to the other on the way down. Nor that their hands were touching. Nor that both were breathing much harder. Ana ran out the elevator while Christian discreetly adjusted himself and followed behind her, his gaze focused on the tantalizing sway of her hips.

Taylor and Sawyer were waiting for them in the lobby. Both men exchanged glances upon seeing their boss and Ana. Ana was looking everywhere but at Christian while Christian couldn't tear is gaze away from Ana. From the look on Ana's face, they knew that Christian had dropped the Jose bomb. Sawyer was glad that his boss was finally being honest with her. She deserved the truth. The truth just might bring them back together and save him from having to do all the extra work it entailed when trying to keep her safe from all the men that wanted to date her.

Taylor could see a change in Christian since Ana's return. He was the only one that Christian allowed to see his vulnerable side. And Christian Grey was the most vulnerable since he pushed Ana away. Taylor knew all of Christian secrets. He knew that although Christian was head over heels for the tiny brunette that had just walked out with Sawyer, he knew that Christian was scared shitless. Taylor had known Christian too long and he knew his boss well. He was a complicated man and loving Ana as much as he did only increased his fears and insecurities tenfold.

They both arrived at GEH within seconds of the other. As Ana predicted, Sawyer gave her an all access pass, as per Christian's request, to the building. She was allowed on the twentieth floor and his office whenever she liked. Andrea was also told to allow her to see him if or whenever she wanted to.

She quickly went up to the 14th floor and was greeting by Hannah, who Ana was starting to believe was always chipper. Her energy levels just never seemed to wane. Hannah went through her schedule for the day and Ana dove into work. It was only her second day and she already technically took a half day the day before.

She was completely engrossed in reading a manuscript for an author she was hoping to sign with when her cell rang. Kate's picture flashed across the screen. Ana stared at it before she answered. She didn't know what to expect from her best friend since Kate all but told her that she was now on the Christian Grey bandwagon the night before.

"Hey baby doll, you free for lunch today? I really need to talk to you," was Kate's greeting.

Ana seriously considered lying to her. She really didn't want Kate to talk her into seeing Christian again. They had come a long way in a short time. They were being civil to one another and she really didn't want to tell Kate about the kiss either. But, she did need her best friend. Her insight might allow her to see things differently. Ana ended her internal debate and replied to Kate.

"Sure, meet me here at 12? I'm just finishing up some reading now."

"Ok Banana. See you at 12!" came Kate's reply.

Ana powered through her readings, so grateful for the tea that Hannah brought to her without even being asked. Before she knew it, it was minutes to 12 and she had to leave for her lunch date with Kate. She left her office after having Hannah send her a copy of her itinerary for the day. Thankfully, he had a meeting at 2 o clock with the copy editors of the department. She could use that as an excuse if she felt the need to bolt if Kate's conversational topics became too heavy.

She took the elevator down to the lobby of GEH and went to sit and wait for Kate. Sawyer must have been monitoring her movement from the security office because he emerged and sat next to her just seconds after.

Before he could even get comfortable, she blurted out, "I kissed Christian."

Sawyer just looked at her and blinked as she continued on in a rambling haste. "I kissed him and I really liked it. But at the same time I didn't. Then I got to thinking, which you know I really shouldn't be doing often because it can get me into trouble. But I realised I am still love him. But I hate his lying guts to. He did what he did for me but he left me. You know. I was a pregnant mess and he left me. I was pregnant with his child and going through so much while he was fucking every possible brunette that walked his way!"

She stopped talking only when she realised that she confessed to Luke about her pregnancy.

Luke opened his mouth and closed it a few times before replying, "Ana, it ok if you're still in love with him. I've spent a lot of time with you when you two were together and I think I've come to know you pretty well. You're the type of person who doesn't give your heart easily but when you do, you give it completely and totally. I understand why you still love him. And to the pregnancy part, does he know? Did he know that you were pregnant when you left?" whispered Luke.

"No, I only told him yesterday. We haven't addressed it yet though. Which might explain my little rant just now. I guess I'm more pissed about his lack of reaction to it than I realised."

"Perfectly understandable Ana. But that is a huge bomb you dropped. And you know Christian, better than anyone I bet. You know he is probably mulling over what you told him, beating himself up over it. He may not react to your news yet, at least not to you. But I bet its killing him on the inside."

"Lukey, I hate it when you're right," grumbled Ana. Luke's words made sense. Christian was not the type to just bare his feeling to the word. Although Ana knew him in a way that no one else did, there was so much that he kept from her. He willing showed her his happy, playful, horny and even his angry side when they were together but any feelings of fear, doubt, sadness and pain, he masked. He never allowed her to see any side of the vulnerable Christian Grey.

Luke and Ana sat in silence as they waited for Kate to show up.

Kate eventually showed up, 15 minutes late, in a faded skinny jeans, white tee and leather jacket just as Ana pulled out her phone to call her. Kate clicked along in her nude pumps and stood beside Luke who stood up to greet her. Ana stood up too as Kate said, "I made reservations at the Italian place you loved so much."

Ana nodded and started walking out the building with Kate alongside her, when Kate suddenly stopped. She turned to look at Sawyer with a puzzled look before asking, "Where do you think you're going?"

Luke smirked at Kate before replying, "In the foreseeable future? My bets are on a mental institution after having to deal with the Grey family and associates. But right now? I'm accompanying you lovely ladies to lunch. Don't worry Kate, I won't eavesdrop on your sex and dick size conversations."

Ana snorted as Kate simply raised her middle finger at the CPO.

They didn't want to drive so of course Sawyer became their chauffeur once more.

As always, they were seated right away and they were eating within a matter of minutes. Luke was seated just 2 table across from them. He would no doubt be able to hear their conversation but Ana didn't really care. She trusted Luke with her life, why not her secrets?

"Ok Ana," began Kate as she moved her spaghetti around her plate, "I've got 2 really really important things I have to talk about."

"Lemme guess, one of them is Mr. Christian Grey?" said Ana after taking a sip of her ice tea and wishing she had ordered something with alcohol. She was going to need it in order to get through this conversation.

"Yep," came Kate's reply. "I talked to Elliot last night while you and Christian were doing God knows what in my kitchen. Yeah I noticed you flushed face and Christian's very obvious hard on missy!"

"What did you and Elliot talk about?" enquired Ana with a slight raise of her eye brow.

"Well, he is not much of the man-whore you think he is. He told Elliot that he lied to you about that. He did have sex though. But with just about 4 women. 3 of whom it was just once. That Giselle bitch was the only one he boned more than once."

"Is this supposed to make me all happy and suddenly want to be with him again? All it proves that he lied to me once again! And it still doesn't answer the question, why didn't he come after me?" said Ana a little too loudly as Luke looked about to get up.

She caught his eye and subtly nodded "no" before turning back to Kate.

"Ana, I'm just giving you the information. You do with it as you will," said Kate in a soothing voice.

Ana placed her head in her hands and took a deep breath before replying, "Kate, I get that you get Christian's side in all this because to you, sex is not a big deal. To me it is. And he sleeping with those women is a huge deal for me. I'm not saying that I don't love him. I will always love him but I don't know if I'm in love with him."

"Why Ana? I see how you look at him. I know how you feel about him. Why deny what you're feeling? You gave him your heart once."

"Exactly Kate!" snapped Ana. "I gave him my heart and you know what? He broke it! He broke my heart Kate. I can't feel that pain again. I won't. I get why he did what he did. But he could have come after me after he fixed the situation. He didn't. It's as simple as that. If he really loves me as much as he claims he does, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Because he would have come to New York 10 months ago and told me the truth. Not sleep with random women."

"Ana, I'm only telling you this because you're my best friend. If Elliot finds out that I told you what I'm about to tell you, he'll kill me. As will Christian. He confessed to Elliot that he was scared. He is scared of how much he loves you. He wants you back but he is expecting you to walk away because that's all he's used to."

Ana stared as at Kate as she said, "Talk to the poor bastard. Get him to explain himself. He loves you more than he can come to terms with."

"Kate, I can only promise to talk to him. I can't say when or where but I will talk to him."

"I'm pretty sure that's all he wants for now Ana. And Ana? Remember that I'm on your side. No matter what. I just get Christian's a little clearer now."

"I know you always have my back Kate. I love you, you know that right?"

"I love you too Ana. Now onto more important matters," said Kate as she all but dismissed the topic of Christian. "As of this moment, you Anastasia Steele are my maid-of-honour. Elliot and I decided that we're going to get married sooner, rather than later. We want to get married in 3 months. The end of August."

"What? Your mother is going to kill you Katherine. You're giving her less than a year's notice? I doubt you'll live to even pick out a dress."

"HAHA!" came Kate's dry reply. "I called her this morning. She did cry and curse and scream, but she's all on board."

With a loud sigh, Ana replied, "Kate, I'm there for you. But you may want to call Mia. She lives for these kind of things and she does last minute pretty damn well."

"Already covered. Elliot and I are going to meet her for lunch tomorrow to ask her to be our official wedding planner."

The girls then chatted endlessly about flowers and veils before Ana left to go back to GEH. She really needed to talk to Christian. Maybe if she found out how he was truly feeling, she would be able to sort out her own feelings.

Unfortunately, as soon as she returned to GEH, she had to run into her meeting with the copy editors of her department. They were already heading to the conference room for the meeting when she and Luke returned, so she quickly grabbed her IPAD and ran into the room.

The 7 copy editors and the copy chief were already seated, waiting for her when she entered. She quickly introduced herself and told them what she expected from them each of them. The copy chief then stood up and when into more specific details about typesetting and proof reading as it related to the specific authors that they were going to be working with within the next month or two.

Ana was listening intently, adding her two cents in, when an author she worked with before came into the conversations, until an instant message on her IPAD drew her attention.

**GREYTANGO1009 : I hope you're 2****nd**** day is going better than your first?**

Ana could help the smile that flitted across her face at seeing his screen name. He sure loved that helicopter. It didn't fail her notice that he also used her birthday as part of his screen name either. Was that intentional?

**HeartofSteele: It definitely better than yesterday :p….Interesting Screen Name btw**

**GREYTANGO1009: I like it. It says a lot. What are you doing?**

**HeartofSteele: Indeed it does. Sitting in on a meeting with my copy editors. You?**

**GREYTANGO1009: Same. On a conference call with Chicago :)**

**HeartofSteele: Did the stone cold Christian Grey just use an emoticon?**

**GREYTANGO1009: I've been known to venture into the world and language practises of you mere mortals every once in a while. :p**

**HeartofSteele: Are you free later? I need to talk to you about something. And I rather it be face to face.**

**GREYTANGO1009: I'm free from 6. Would you like to come to my office or would you rather go somewhere.**

**HeartofSteele: Your office is fine. **

**GREYTANGO1009: I'll have Taylor buy that Chinese food you love so much.**

**HeartofSteele: Thank you. XD See you at 6?**

**GREYTANGO1009: Count on it**

Ana signed off and sighed. She was going to admit how she was feeling to him tonight. He needed to hear it. She actively put herself back into the meeting proceeding before her, putting Christian Grey from her mind, for now at least.

The next few hours flew by and before she knew it, it was almost six o clock. She ran into her private bathroom and washed her face. She then reapplied her makeup and re-combed her hair. She wanted to look presentable, not attractive. Or so she told herself.

When she was done, she bid Hannah goodbye who was also packing up to leave and got onto the elevator and put in her card for the 20th floor.

She got off when the doors opened and was glad to see that she was right on time. Andrea smiled at her as she passed her desk. She walked to Christian's office and pushed the door, not bothering to knock.

The sight that greeted her stopped her in her tracks. The Giselle girl who Ana met at the Coping Together Event was leaning into towards Christian who had yet to notice Ana's presence. Giselle however did, as she smirked before laying a kiss loudly on Christian's lips.

Ana gasped loudly and turned and left the office.

"Ana! It's not what you think!" shouted Christian. But she just kept walking, Christian hot on her heels.

* * *

><p><strong>Review Please<strong>

**Also, forgive any typos :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello All. I'm so sorry for the long (kind of) wait. I've been mad busy since the new year started. I am working on the next 2 chapters so it will be posted ASAP. **

**As always thank you for your reviews and comments. Feel free to message me anytime with any questions. I will try my best to reply in a timely manner lol.**

**To the guest reviewer that said i was changing my story because of negative reviews, I AM NOT. (yes i removed your review) I personally think sleeping with 4 people in 10 months is an active sex life. **

**To everyone else, thank you for your support. I can't believe i have over 100 followers and favourites already. **

**Please please please review! I always appreciate your input.**

**Forgive an typos (like always :/ )**

**Thats all for now. **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Christian's day was going horribly. The only high point of his day so far was seeing Ana that morning. He couldn't help the smile that graced his features whenever he thought of her surprised look when she opened the door and saw him. Not to mention her reluctance to go on the elevator with him. Seeing her was the best part of his day. As soon as he got into his office at GEH, everything went downhill.<p>

Andrea was unfortunately running late and the damn Olivia had not a fucking clue of his schedule. Or how he drank his coffee. Or how to knock a door. She had walked in on him twice during meetings. He really should fire her, but all the replacements seem to be just like her. In fact, she was the cream of the crop. When Andrea finally showed up, he was on a rampage. They were on the verge of buying a new shipping company in L.A. but the agreement was close to falling through when the sellers couldn't agree to the terms and conditions stipulated on the contract that they verbally agreed to weeks before. Ros was the unfortunate recipient of his anger.

His day finally picked up when he sat in on a conference call with London. He was bored. The business manager of the internet company that he was hoping to procure was dull, to say the least. Christian was close to falling asleep. If it wasn't for the fact that the Englishman needed a reply and a quote every few minutes, he would have certainly fallen asleep at his desk.

His boredom and anger dissipated as quickly as it arrived when he saw Ana's screen name on his messenger app. He couldn't help himself. He yearned to talk to her in person. To see her smile, her blush, her bite her lip even if it drove him to the brink of insanity. He settled for the next best thing. He messaged her. He had learned years ago that Ana preferred communication via email, text or any other way without face to face talking. While he could stare at her all day and listen to her talk about any and everything under the sun, he enjoyed how easily she let her guard down online. He quickly messaged her, willing her to reply soon.

He got his wish. She replied just seconds later. He was beyond happy that she even bothered to reply. Their play banter lifted his heart and his dark mood. She really was too good to be true.

He was a little apprehensive when she said that she wanted to talk. He still hadn't fully processed her news about their baby yet. He knew he was to blame. He knew he was the reason that his son was dead. But he couldn't let his mind go to those thoughts. He was holding on by a very thin thread and accepting that he was responsible for his son's death will surely push him over the edge. His drinking already increased over the last few months. He had been actively trying not to drink since his last one night stand but he failed at that just two days before when he showed up at Ana's. He feared that he would really start down that very destructive part if he allowed himself to think on Ana's pregnancy.

Christian was pulled from his thoughts when Taylor's voice came through is intercom.

"Sir, we have an issue," said his CPO in his almost always serious voice.

Christian sighed loudly. He was getting very frustrated with the constant interferences. He knew that his status and name came with a price, but never in a million years would he have thought he would be involved in so many problems. When he launched GEH, he naively thought that it would be all about the business.

"Yes Taylor? What is it?" he said through gritted teeth.

"Ms. Giselle Reli is here, Sir. She was causing some trouble in the lobby. I had her escorted to security's head office."

"Ok? Why do you need me?" questioned Christian, clearly confused.

He really couldn't give a fuck if Giselle was there. Ana would show up in his office in just over a half hour and that was the one and only thought on his mind. Giselle could stay in the security's office for all he cared. Taylor's next words stopped him cold however.

"Sir, she has pictures of you two together," said Taylor.

"What?" bellowed Christian, "How the fuck does she have that? She signed a fucking NDA!" He continued.

"She found a small loophole," replied Taylor in a clipped tone.

"Bring her up! I want this shit over and done with now!" he yelled so loudly that Andrea came running into his office.

"Sir? Is everything alright?" she questioned in a meek voice.

"No!" he growled. Upon seeing her visibly quake at his voice, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while exhaling loudly.

"I'm sorry Andrea. I don't need anything right now. But can you order some of that Chinese food from the place that Ana loved? I think you remember what she liked? Just remember to include lemon chicken," he said.

"Of course Sir," she replied in her ever polite voice and turned on her heels and walked out his office. His rude outburst already forgiven and forgotten.

Just a few moments after, in strolled Giselle. Taylor and Reynolds were following closely behind her. Taylor held an envelope in his hand and wore a grim expression on his face.

Giselle looked smug. She knew that Christian would want to see her. She bet that he was only using the pictures as an excuse to see her. Once a man got a taste of what she had, they couldn't resist coming back for more. And Christian Grey was all man. She knew he wanted her. It was just that bitch that showed up the other night that had him backing off. She didn't even see what the big fuss was about Anastasia Steele. She didn't have the model's body that Giselle put a lot of time and money into. There was no way that he was satisfied by Anastasia.

"What the fuck do you want Giselle?" demanded Christian as he waved a hand to tell Taylor and Reynolds to leave.

"C'mon Christian. Don't be like that. I know you want me," she said as she thrust her chest out. Christian glared at her. He swallowed back bile as her already low cut blouse showed off more of her cleavage. She dressed to entice. Of that he had no doubt. But all he could think was that Ana didn't need such short revealing clothes to look sexy. All Ana had to do was look at him and he got turned on. Gisele was just trying too hard. He didn't understand what he saw in her in the first place. Looking at her now, the only thing that he liked about her was her hair colour. It was almost similar to Ana's. Unlike Ana's however, Giselle's came from a box. Ana's beautiful luscious locks was all natural.

"How much money do you want for the pictures? I know that's what you really want," said Christian in his CEO voice.

Giselle however wasn't fazed. She simply took a seat in front the desk and crossed her legs. From Christian's place behind his desk, he got a perfect view of her. And the fact that she had neglect underwear. Christian could only roll his eyes at her. She really was desperate it seems.

"I don't want any money Christian. I only want you!" she said in a clear voice while playing with her hair. "I know you want me to. We had fun together," she continued.

Christian pursed his lips for a while, searching for the right words. "It was just sex Giselle. I was in a bad place. You were a convenient fuck," he finally said.

"Well, it can still be convenient. I know a man of you stature had needs. You and I both know that I can fulfil them like no other," replied Giselle.

"Look Giselle, you and I were a mistake. What will it take for you to give up those photos? You cannot use them, you signed a NDA. You use them and I will sue you so fast you won't even know what hit you. You don't want to mess with me. I can end you in a minute." Christian snarled.

"But Christian, the photos you speak of? They were taken before I signed your precious NDA. Don't you remember? You were drunk in that hotel bar that first night? You off all people should know that a verbal agreement means jack shit. You must get everything in writing." Giselle smiled before continuing, "Besides, I'm not asking for much. I just want you. That little twat could never satisfy you."

Christian was on his feet in an instant. He could handle any shit she threw at him but he hated her mentioning Ana. How could he be so stupid though? He couldn't believe he didn't have her sign an NDA the first time they fucked! He knew that he was drunk the first time but he was drunk with the others as well. And he remembered those times. Didn't he? He knew that this shit was going to come back and bite him in the ass but he thought it would be in a way where Ana would be involved!

Moving around his desk, he approached Giselle. Leaning over her chair, he put both hands on each arm rest and leaned in towards her. He ignored the spark of lust and excitement that flashed in her eyes. She obviously thought that he was giving into her advances.

Whispering in a voice that could scare Achilles himself, he said, "Don't mess with me. Don't mess with Ana. I will fucking ruin you."

Giselle pushed to her feet in an instant, forcing Christian to back up slightly. He now had his back to the door which she realised was opening. She smiled as she saw who walked in. She grasped at the opportunity to get rid of the bitch that stole Christian from her. She leaned in to towards Christian who was glaring at her, waiting for her to reply to him. Giselle puckered her heavily glossed lips and lay a kiss on Christian's lips.

He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back to see her smirking. The gasp he heard behind him had ice running through his veins. Ana was here! And she witnessed the kiss that Giselle clearly orchestrated to keep them apart. The conniving bitch saw Ana enter his office!

Ana turned and left the office as Christian turned to follow her. He'd be damned if he let her get away without explaining. He kept screwing up! Now she believes that he is seeing Giselle again.

"Ana I can explain!" he shouted as he rushed to the elevators. He noticed Andrea made a show of leaving her desk and running towards Ros' office. She probably thought that she was in trouble for letting Ana in his office. But he had told her Ana was the one person allowed there at all times. She didn't even have to knock. Ana was always invited into his office and the one time she walked in without knocking, she witnessed him in a compromising position!

"Save it Christian," she snapped. He could hear the tears in her voice however. He just kept on hurting her. This was why he was no good for her!

"Ana please, it isn't what it looked like. She only kissed me because she saw you enter," he explained in a rush as she pushed the elevator buttons repeated. She didn't care what floor she ended up on, she just wanted to get away from him.

"Why the hell was she here in the first place? In your office?" she demanded.

The elevator finally arrived and Ana rushed on. She quickly pressed the button for the door to close but Christian rushed into the cab quickly. She could escape as he stood in front the door.

"Please Ana. You have to believe me. There is nothing going on with me and Giselle. She has photos of me and I was trying to break her down. Ensure she doesn't use the pictures against me. You walked in after I told her that she was nothing to me," said Christian in a soft voice.

He felt like a rotten person. No matter what he did, Ana somehow got hurt. This was why he didn't go find her after he killed Larson. He wanted to. God knows he organised that flight too many times to count. But he never went. He was always afraid of hurting her. Now he was doing it without even trying. He really wasn't good enough for her.

Ana was angry. Her anger had now turned to that bitch in Christian's office. She knew from the moment that she met her that she was manipulative and conniving. But to stoop this low to get Christian back?

"Christian, how many times am I going to have to deal with an ex of yours? Giselle has pictures of you? What about the other 3? How are you sure they won't come back too?" questioned Ana as she put in the code to return to the top floor.

Christian was surprised. He thought she was running. He was even about to message Taylor to cut the power in the elevator to ensure that he could talk to her.

"Ana, please tell me you're staying. You said we needed to talk. I want to talk to you," said Christian.

"I'm going to get rid of that bitch in your office and then we will talk. You and I have a lot to talk about Christian. This doesn't mean anything though," she said in a rush as they returned to the top floor.

Giselle was now sitting in the lobby with Taylor and Reynolds flanking her. She didn't look the least bit scared. She leaned over slightly, allowing her blouse to slip forwards. Her boobs were almost on full display.

Ana squared her shoulders and approached her. Giselle even had the audacity to smirk at her. Taylor gave Christian a questioning look which Christian only shrugged at. He had no clue as to what Ana had up her sleeve. But she looked like she was on a mission and it turned him the fuck on.

"Giselle was it?" questioned Ana as she reached the top heavy brunette. Giselle quirked an eyebrow at her as Ana continued, "Let's get one thing straight right now. Christian doesn't want you. So I suggest you leave now before you make an ass of yourself."

"He didn't say that when he was fucking me into oblivion last Saturday," was Giselle's comeback.

Ana smiled at the woman as she said, "You know what I just heard? Fucking, not making love. He used you. He used you as a way to get off. Get some control. You know why? Because you're easy."

"How the fuck would you know? You weren't here. He obviously doesn't want you. He was with me for quite a while," snapped Giselle. Ana's words were getting to her.

Christian was about to reply when Ana held up her hand. "How does it feel knowing that he only slept with you because you remind him of me? Quite frankly I'm insulted because I look nothing like you. But Christian fucked you because he wanted me. You were just a convenient fuck and that was it. Now you are going to leave us alone or all of the modelling community is going to learn of your reconstructive surgery and that porno you starred in."

"H- ho- how-ww di-d-did y-you know about that?" stammered Giselle. Tears were beginning to brim her eyes and her smirk at completely disappeared.

"How I know doesn't matter. You have 1 day to give up the originals of those photos to Taylor. If you don't produce them by this time tomorrow as well as any copies you may have made, your career will be ruined. You really don't want to mess with me. I can and will make your life a really unhappy one. And this is isn't a verbal agreement. You will sign a document saying you will not interfere in our lives again. You will not disclose any information you may have learnt about Christian," said Ana in a tone that made Taylor a little scared. The little woman was out for blood and there was no stopping her.

Giselle nodded at her before gathering her stuff and got ready to leave. Taylor pulled out a fresh NDA for the woman. Ana made the required adjustments stating that neither Christian's nor Giselle's past will be revealed. Giselle signed it eagerly

"One day," reiterated Ana as Reynolds followed Giselle unto the elevator.

Christian was dumbfounded and Taylor looked thoroughly impressed.

"How the fuck did you know about her surgery and porno?" questioned Christian.

Ana shrugged as she said, "I didn't really. My cousin accidently sent me a link to a porno once and the woman bore an uncanny resemblance to Giselle. When I saw her at that coping together event, I thought she looked familiar. It wasn't until I saw that mark on her left boob when she leaned over when you showed up with me just now that it clicked. I went out on a limb with the surgery. No one has boobs that perky."

"I must say Miss Steele, you are quite the impressive fellow. Maybe you should work as a partner in Carrick's law firm. Or join my legal team."

Ana blushed at his compliment. She felt good. She just helped Christian deal with an issue in his life. He didn't hide it from her. There may be hope for him after all.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello All. **

**I must apologise for not updating as often as I used to. New year, new life, very busy me! My goal is to update at least twice a week so I'll try my best to do so.**

**Here is the latest chapter.**

**And thank you all for the reviews, follows and favourites. **

**I've got a lot of plans for the upcoming chapters so lets all cross our fingers that I update in a timely manner =D**

**Thats all for now **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Christian was nervous excited. He felt like every time they talked, they both took one small step back to each other. At the same time, Ana would reveal something about that point where he hurt her and he felt more horrible about the decisions he made. He knew that what he did was to protect her, but was it really worth giving up the best and brightest spot in his life?<p>

Ana was in an equally confused state. She knew that she had to talk to Christian. Get some of her issues of her chest. But she was afraid that he would reveal something that would change her already confused mind. She made a decision to be friends with Christian. What if he revealed something that would make her view him differently?

"Ok Ana, before we get into anything heavy, thank you for taking care of that Giselle matter," said Christian after they both sat down.

"Not a problem. I wanted to put that bitch in her place since I met her. It was fun," shrugged Ana.

"Ana, I don't know how to apologize for that though. So much of the cluster fuck I've made into my life is affecting you. You don't deserve any of that," said Christian in a voice that almost broke Ana's heart. He sounded so pitiful to her.

"It's fine Christian. I've got more of a backbone than you give me credit for," she said. She really hoped that he was coming to see her as the more independent woman she had become and not the meeker version she was 3 years earlier.

"Ana, you are the bravest person I know. I know I don't always show you that, but you, are so beyond courageous. I wish every day that I could be as brave, as strong, as good a person as you are," he said with so much sincerity, it brought tears to her eyes.

"Oh Christian," she started, but he cut her off by laying his warm hand on her thigh. She felt the heat through her pants.

"Ana, please let me finish. Three years ago, I was scared. I am scared now. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. And quite frankly, that scares the shit out of me. You were the best damn thing to ever happen to me and I pushed you away. I told you that it was because of Larson. And while that was true, it wasn't the complete truth."

"Wh-what are you saying Christian," she stuttered as she shifted to move his hand from her thigh. It was far too distracting and she needed to focus solely on their conversation.

Christian took a deep breath and said, "I gave you up to protect you from me Ana. I did it because I knew that sooner or later I would have hurt you."

Ana just looked at him. He couldn't get any emotion of her face. Her eyes were blank and her lips were unmoving. He had absolutely no clue as to how his confession affected her.

He was a little startled when she pushed to her feet and looked down on him as she said, "That's bullshit Christian. And you know it. Admit it, you pushed me away to protect yourself. You're the one who was scared of getting hurt. Yeah you defended me against Larson. But your true motive was to shield your own self. It was your heart you were protecting, not mine."

Christian looked at her as her words sunk in. John had said something similar a few weeks before he stopped seeing him. Did he really do that? Push Ana away to protect himself? Was he really that selfish?

Ana continued when she noticed that he wasn't going to reply to her, "Honestly Christian? You're so closed off. You claimed to have let me in but you really didn't. Yeah I saw a different side of you compared to everyone else, but we were never a unit then. You never truly let me in."

"Fuck Ana, I don't know what to say to any of this," he said as he too stood up.

"Tell me something, after the whole deal with Larson went down, why didn't you come to New York after me. You admitted to knowing that I was there. Did you ever plan on coming for me?" questioned Ana. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to know the answer to this question, but she knew deep down that she would be better of knowing. It would help her sort out her own issues.

"Ana, not a day went by where I didn't consider jumping on my jet and heading to New York. Even before Larson was taken care of, I would have the jet fuelled and ready. But I knew I couldn't as long as that prick was alive."

"Why not after? You said you loved me, but would you have admitted that if I didn't return to Seattle?"

"Ana, I wanted to come to New York. About 9 months ago, I made the decision to come after you. I had Sawyer go ahead of me though. And that was when I made up my mind not to come after you," said Christian as he hung his head in shame.

"Why Christian? What drove your decision? And was this before you're after your one night stands?"

"Kate mentioned that didn't she? I knew Elliot wouldn't have kept it a secret!" said Christian with a roll of his eyes.

"Whatever Christian. Answer my questions!" demanded Ana as Christian still hadn't spoken. She wanted answers. She needed them.

"Ok Ana, here goes. I sent Sawyer to New York the moment Larson was buried. He followed you for a few days and sent me updates. When he returned, the pictures he had taken of you made up my mind for me. You looked happy Ana. You were out with that former boss of yours and the person I assume now is his boyfriend and you were laughing and smiling. Sawyer said that you were different. You seemed genuinely happy with the life you had in New York. I couldn't take that from you."

"Is that when you started the drunk one night stand bullshit?" questioned Ana as she circled her neck. Her head was starting to pound. She didn't understand any of his actions.

He sighed she pushed her down on the sofa and sat next to her. He turned her so that her back was to him and started massaging her tensed shoulders.

Ana sighed contentedly. Christian's touch always managed to soothe and arouse her all at once. But she pushed her lustful thoughts aside. His hands was working free all the knots that had formed since she came back to Seattle. Who would have thought that coming to a place that she called home for so long could drive her this crazy?

Christian continued his explanation for his admittedly stupid actions as he massaged her shoulders. "The first one I slept with was a month or so after we got rid of Larson. After I shot him. I felt so horrible. Don't get me wrong, I was glad that the prick was six feet under, but I never thought that I would ever kill someone. Murder was not something I ever thought I would be capable off. And Sawyer had just returned and reported back on you. I had just made the decision not to go after you. I felt like everything was spiralling out of control. I didn't know what to do."

Ana turned ready to question him further but he simply turned her back as he continued, "I opened a bottle of scotch that Elliot gave me on the night of our rehearsal dinner and the next thing I knew I drove out the that motel where I met Larson. I don't know, call it a guilty conscience. Taylor was pissed at me. He never yelled at me before, until that day," said Christian with a laugh.

Ana smiled slightly at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. Christian continued, "Anyways, there was a bar near the motel. I was already close to being hammered. I don't remember much but I remember some brunette came up to me and she reminded me of you. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a room I never saw before with a brunette next to me. For a minute I thought it was you."

Ana pulled out of Christian's arms. She didn't need that distraction as she processed his words. He started screwing random because he thought that she was happy.

"You're a fucked up son of a bitch, you know that right?" said Ana. "How could you make that decision for me? You assumed that I was happy so you decided against coming after me?"

"Ana, I don't know how to be what you need. You deserve the very best. You deserve someone whose past won't come back to screw you over. You deserve to be safe and by being with me, you never will truly be safe. So yes, I made that decision for you. When I found out that you were enjoying your life in New York and the night of the rehearsal dinner. I made the decision to keep you safe instead of pulling you into all the shit I've caused. But I'm a selfish man Ana, and I want you. I want you more that I wanted anything else in my life. I just don't deserve you."

"Christian, why the hell do you insist on putting me on some sort of pedestal? I am far from perfect and you have no fucking right to tell me what or who I deserve. And your perceived notion of me being happy in New York is by far the most wrong you've ever been. I was fucking miserable in New York. I missed everything about Seattle. Kate, my dad, my friends, my job, you….."

"Fuck Ana!" Christian spat out before he had her in her hands. She didn't have time to protest, nor did she really want to before she was in his arms, his lips hard on hers. His tongue already forced his way into her open mouth.

She grasped the hair at the nape of his neck and before she realised, she hitched her feet around his hips. He growled as he pulled his lips from hers and attached it to her slender neck. He started licking and sucking her overly sensitive skin as he carried her back to the couch. He slowly deposited her on the couch and got on top of her, her legs still wrapped firmly around him and his lips still attached to her neck.

He could feel the heat coming off her core. She wanted him, he was absolutely sure of it. She gently ground against him as she pulled his lips back to hers. Her fingers threaded through his hair and pulled it a little which had Christian growling against her lips. His hands wondered over her warm, petite body. He gently cupped her breast through the soft fabric of her blouse. He felt her hands leave his hair before she reached his shoulders, then his chest. He relished in the warmth that he felt only from her. Everyone else had him recoiling in pain if they touched him there. His chest, back and heart were for Ana's touch alone. It called out to her.

She roughly pushed his jacket off his strong shoulders. Christian pulled away from her slightly so she could discard the jacket. He quickly returned to her throat, sucking gently, which had her gasping aloud. Her hands were wondering on his chest, having already discarded the tie and were now working the buttons of his shirt. She pulled away from him and Christian stared in wonder as she pushed her jacket off and threw her silk blouse to the floor. He quickly latched his lips onto her bra covered nipples. He sent up a silent prayer to the person who thought of a front clasp bra. With a flick of his wrist, her beautiful breasts were on full display to him.

Ana's head was spinning. Christian starting licking the hard nipple of her left breast as he flicked, pitched and roll the right one between his thumb and forefinger. He then pushed his finger into her mouth when he gently bit her nipple and commanded, "Suck!"

She did so eagerly. With each pull of her mouth on his finger, she felt the rush of arousal between her legs. Her clit was throbbing. She shifted and ground herself against his very hard erection. He pulled his finger from her mouth and returned to her neglected nipple as she reached down to undo his belt. She wanted to feel him.

Christian was so turned on. He needed to bury himself in her. Feel her warmth surround him. He was so painfully aroused, he knew he wouldn't be able to last long. He pulled away from her luscious breasts and trailed kissed down her flat stomach.

Ana felt him moving lower and she wanted nothing more than for him to reach her wet, dripping core. She was sure that she was wet through her pants. Her panties were no doubt ruined.

She wanted to have sex with him and she wanted it now!

* * *

><p><strong>Will they have sex or not? hmmm...I promise to update soon :P<strong>

**And I fully intend to go into the baby, Jose and Elena issues soon, I just felt like writing something lemony (Its is fifty shades after all). More drama to come soon though. **

**Review Please!Your thoughts and opinions are very much appreciated!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Apparently my muse visited me last night. Unfortunately she doesn't proofread for me. So forgive any typos. (I guess by now you guys know this lol.)**

** Here is the latest installment.**

**I hope you enjoy. :)**

**Keep the reviews coming. **

**xoxo**

* * *

><p>Ana wanted to be ravished. To forget everything that happened to her. She wanted to put all thoughts aside and do something reckless for once.<p>

Sleeping with Christian Grey was the height of recklessness.

With that goal in mind, she deftly unbuckled his belt and slipped her small hand into his pants. She found him hard, throbbing and begging to be released from his cloth confines. Christian let out a loud moan and threw his head back as she bravely cupped him. Her hands starting stroking him and he was sure he would come any minute now.

Christian loved feeling her stroke him. He loved having her unabashedly touch him. Her touch did magical things to him. He felt content, safe and most importantly, it healed him in ways he never realised he needed healing before. He was home in Ana's arms.

He knew that he dreamt of this moment for years. Having her initiate sex. Having her want him even after the stunts he pulled. But deep down, he knew it wasn't right. For her at least. Ana may be stronger than anyone he ever met, but if they give into their desires, succumbed to their lust for one another, she would come to regret it. She would hate herself for it.

She moved to push his pants down but Christian reached down and stilled her movements. He wanted to be with her but he knew better. With that thought in mind, he kissed her one more time, a slow kiss meant to sooth instead of arouse and pulled away from the temptation that is her warm, soft, utterly feminine body.

Ana stared at him with a bewildered expression. Especially after he pulled away from her and re-fastened his pants as best he could, given the massive hard-on he sported. She struggled to sit up and quickly lifted her top to conceal her heaving breasts from his heated stare.

"Ana, we shouldn't do this. God knows I want to. But it would be a step in the wrong direction for us."

"Oh, so you would screw a random brunette that you pick up at a random bar but you refuse to sleep with the woman you claim to love. I see how it is Christian," she snapped as she got up and pulled on her jacket. She shoved her bra into her purse and was ready to storm out the office when Christian gripped her arm.

"I'm not saying no Ana. I'm just saying not now. It's for the best. I want you. So fucking badly. But I want to do this right. I need to earn your trust back. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt you again. And sleeping with you now, here in my office like you're some random pick-up would only make you feel horrible about yourself."

Ana sighed loudly. He was right. And she hate it. Her mind knew that he was making complete sense but her body screamed for him. He was the only person who could make her wet with just a look. His kisses, his touch turned her into a needy, horny mess. Christian Grey's sexpertise would be the death of her.

Christian interpreted her silence all wrong. He quickly added when she didn't reply, "Ana, I would love nothing more than to make love to you. Be with you, hold you, and watch you come around me but we can't. At least not now. Besides, I don't have any condoms on me."

Ana looked at him for a few seconds before saying, "Christian, as hard as this is for me to say, you're right. We shouldn't do this. Sex would only complicate our already complicated lives. Thank you for stopping."

"I think this is the first and last time I would ever stop us from having sex Ana," said Christian with a slight smile. He was very uncomfortable. His pants was much too, and seeing Ana before him, her hair in a messy braid, her lipstick smudged, a light blush still staining her cheeks did nothing to help with his resolve. He wanted her and he couldn't deny it. He just had to control himself.

"Oh, just so you know, condoms aren't an issue. I'm on birth control. But I guess condoms would be safer. At least until you get a blood test," she said with a straight face.

Christian visibly spluttered, "What? A blood test?" he questioned.

Ana stared him in the eye as she said, "Hell yes! You were with random women in the past few months. I would like proof that you're clean thank you very much!"

"Ana are we seriously having this conversation?" he questioned.

"Yes Christian. If or when I decide to sleep with you I would rather not have to worry about getting some sort of disease because you couldn't keep it in your pants! Besides, you made me do a blood test when we now started dating years ago!" she retorted.

"Well then, you should do one as well. You're on birth control aren't you? Doesn't that mean you're having sex?" he snapped, annoyed that she would insinuate that he would be so reckless. And why the fuck would she need birth control. He didn't care that he was being the king of all hypocrites, but who the fuck was she seeing to need birth control.

"Why the fuck do you need birth control Ana? Who are you fucking?" he growled before he could stop himself.

He immediately stepped back, visibly shocked when a sharp stink was felt across his cheek. She slapped him! Ana actually slapped him across his face. He was pissed, shocked and turned on. She was the only one he would ever let get away with that shit. He knew he deserved it but it was still a shock.

"You son of a bitch! Firstly, if I was sleeping with someone, who of all people have no right to judge me. I could sleep with every man that I ever meet from today till the day I die and I'm sure that number will still pale in comparison to the number of women who opened their legs to you before I even met you! Secondly, I am on birth control because after my failed pregnancy that you won't around for, I was irregular! Birth control got me back on track. If you had bothered to ask instead of spewing accusations and you would have known."

"Shit Ana, I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything. And you're right, I have no right to be pissed if you were with someone else," he said, truly meaning it. His blood boiled with the thought of Ana with another man. But the logical part of him knew that it was perfectly normal if she had slept with other people.

"Christian, I swear, if you apologise one more time, I will make sure you cannot have sex ever again! Stop with the fucking apologies!" she snapped as she perched herself on the sofa once more. This was not how she had planned for the evening to go. She wanted to talk about her trust issues, his lack of reaction to hearing about the baby, Jose. She certainly hadn't planned on talking about her sex life or lack thereof.

Christian stared at her as he tried to figure out what she was thinking about. She had gone from angry looking to confuses and a little sad in a matter of seconds. He knew that she was thinking hard about something but she hadn't spoken yet.

"Christian, how do you feel about my pregnancy? About what happened to our baby?" she whispered as she played with her fingers in her lap. She needed to know how he felt.

Christian let out a lungful of air as he searched for the right words. In all honesty, he hated himself for what happened to her. The heartbreak he caused triggered the stress she had gone through. He had caused her to move to a city she had never lived before, change jobs, move away from her family and friends. He was the reason his son was dead. How could he tell her that? That he only brought death, pain and suffering into her life?

"Ana, I hate myself for that. For pushing you away. For causing all that stress. I looked up placental abruption and I saw that stress that cause it. I caused you that stress Ana. Our son is dead because of me," he choked out. Tears had built up in his eyes. He struggled to catch his breath. He felt a sharp pain in his chest as he spoke. He was the reason that his baby was dead. How could he ever live with himself?

Ana moved from her place on the sofa and moved towards him. She put her hand over his heart and looked him in the eye. "It's ok Christian. I'm here. Just breathe with me. Calm, deep breaths. Slowly," she whispered.

As his breathing returned to normal, Ana spoke in a calm voice, "I named him Christopher. I wanted a name similar to Christian. So I said I'll call him Christopher Raymond Grey. I used to read to him every night. He would kick up a storm whenever I read anything Dr. Seuss related. And he always caused me to crave tacos late at night. My boss hated that," she said with a laugh.

Christian gave her a tight smile. She had gone through so much yet here she was comforting him! He hated that he wasn't there for her. Sitting beside her as she read to her bump. Running out late at night to buy her tacos. Rubbing her swollen feet and aching back. He hated that he wasn't there to hold her hand when his baby was stillborn. Hold her, cry with her. He only had himself to blame after all.

"How is it that you moved on from all this Ana? I can't even think about it without going into a panic attack," he questioned. She really was such a strong person. A kind, loving, strong, brave person.

"I didn't Christian. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes. But I did started seeing a therapist after all of it happened. I stopped a few weeks before I returned here. I have her on speed dial but I figured I'll see Flynn if my nightmares start up again."

"Fuck Ana! I don't know how you do it! How are you so brave? How can you talk to me now? Especially since I caused you all this pain," he whispered.

"Christian, contrary to your beliefs, I don't blame you. I did. I hated you for this, don't get me wrong. But Dr. Duncun, my therapist said something during our last session together, she said, 'Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things. It means you have to accept what happened and continue living." I have finally accepted that our baby died. I don't know how or why it happened to us. But I don't blame anyone anymore. I'm going to live my life now. Being pregnant let me see things differently. I was able to appreciate the little things. I saw things in a different way. Christopher gave that to me. I loved him from the moment I found out that I was pregnant. But he's no longer with us and though that kills me inside, I cannot do anything to change that. He was my angel when I most needed one. But angels belong in heaven"

"Ana, I love you so much." Christian whispered. He truly did. He could only hope that one day he would be able to wake up and see her there beside him. Watch her grow old as they lived their lives together. Come home to her. Watch her talk to their children, their grandchildren. He wanted it all with her. He wanted that life that he didn't deserve. But he only wanted it with Ana.

"Christian," she whispered as she closed her eyes. His confession sounded so sincere. She didn't know what to do with herself.

"Ana, can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Anything," she whispered.

"Please don't be pissed but I did another background check on you. Why doesn't it show any record of your pregnancy and how did you get so much money?"

Ana narrowed her eyes at Christian's admission to invading her privacy again. "Of course you did. But then again, I didn't expect anything less from Christian Grey, stalker extraordinaire," she teased to show that she honestly didn't care. Besides, she wanted to lighten the mood. She had come to expect these extreme actions from him. It never occurred to him to behave like a normal person and ask to get the answers he wanted.

Sighing, Ana said, "It turns out my biological father was rich. Or at least his family was. They own some shipping company in Texas. They aren't Christian Grey 'I own the world rich'. It's more like 'I could probably own an island or two'. Anyway, my biological dad was "disowned" when he and my mom ran off and got married. My mom wasn't of superior breeding or some bullshit like that. My dad didn't care about that so he ran off to be with her and turned his back on his family and their wealth. My grandfather was heartbroken after my dad's death. He apparently didn't know I existed since tracking Carla was so hard. All her name changes with all the marriages must have made things difficult. But he found me, I don't know how. He wanted to make it up to me for not being there for me as a child. Make it up to his son for denying him and Carla. So he finally convinced me to see him the day I had to be rushed to the hospital."

Christian nodded as Ana continued, "I decided that day that I only wanted one thing from him. I got him to pay to have my medical records altered. I got him to cover up my pregnancy. I knew that you have Barney monitor such situations. I didn't know if you would feel the need to check up on me. When he died, I inherited everything. I was his last living heir."

"Why Ana? Why didn't you want me to know?" demanded Christian.

"Christian I would have told you. Not a day went by where I didn't pick up the phone to call you. To tell you. But I couldn't. I knew you. You would have come running. And I didn't want you that way. I wanted you to want to be with me. Not feel obligated to be with me. I know how selfish that sounds. So I didn't tell you. I said that I would call you after Christopher was born. I didn't have to."

"Ana, do you think things would have been different if I didn't break things off with us?" whispered Christian.

"Christian. Don't do that to yourself. We can never know what would have happened. All we can do is live for the here and now!" she said so forcefully.

"Ana, you mean so much to me. I love you so much. If I have to spend the rest of my life making things up to you. I would. You deserve to be loved. You deserved to be taken care of. You deserve happiness. And I promise to give you these things one way or another.

"What are you saying Christian?" she asked. Her heart was beating loudly.

"Ana, I know it's a long shot, but would you give me another chance? Start new with me?" he asked.

Ana gasped aloud as Christian waited on her answer.

* * *

><p><strong>Another cliff hanger :p hehehe<strong>

**Review please. :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. This chapter was a tear jerker for me. **

**As always forgive my typos.**

**I hope you enjoy. **

**XOXO**

* * *

><p>"Ana, I know it's a long shot, but would you give me another chance? Start new with me?" he asked?<p>

Ana gasped aloud as Christian awaited her answer.

She was in complete shock. Three years ago she would have killed to have Christian ask her to be with him again. She wanted that. She loved him so much. Her heart was always his. It always belonged to him and no matter what happened, it would always be his. Nothing, nor anyone could cause her to forget him. He was it for her. She knew it without a trace of doubt. They were two halves of the same whole. They were soulmates. She loved him and no matter what, she couldn't get over that.

At the same time however, her heart was shattered by him. She couldn't forget her love for him, but she also couldn't forget the heart wrenching pain she endured. That experience altered her in ways she had yet to comprehend. Could she trust her fragile heart in his hands again? Would he take care of it? Or would she be broken again? She was one hundred percent sure that if she said yes and he broke her heart again, she wouldn't be able to come back from it. She had endured too much, suffered too much. Her heart suffered a lifetime's worth of heartache.

She sighed loudly before replying, "Christian, I want to say yes. So badly. But right now, I can't. And before you say anything, it's not because of you. At least not completely."

"I don't understand Ana," said Christian.

He couldn't look her in the eyes. He knew that this was the answer he was going to get. He knew that he had done too much to her, hurt her too badly. He wasn't expecting to hear "yes". She knew that he was too screwed up to be with. He didn't deserve her love, and clearly, he wasn't going to get it.

"Christian, please hear me out before you start on your usual self-loathing bullshit. Don't even try to deny it," she said quickly when he opened his mouth to protest.

"I know you. Better than most. And I know that you're probably thinking that it's you. It's not. I need time. I need to figure out me first. Figure out who I am. Who Anastasia Steele is. All my life I've been somebody's something, somebody's daughter, or lack thereof, in the case of Carla, someone's best friend, girlfriend, fiancé. I haven't had the time to be me. And I need that. Need to figure out who I am without anyone before I can be with someone. Please understand."

"Ana," started Christian, "I do, more than you know. But know this, I am going to wait for you. Fight for you. Earn your trust, your love back. I messed up, I gave up on us because I was scared but I want to prove to you that the only thing that frightens me now, is losing you. You were, are and always will be it for me. I shouldn't have slept with those women, I shouldn't have pushed you away, and I shouldn't have lied to you, deceived you. But I swear on my life, I am going to make it up to you. One way or another Ana, I will become the man you can love."

"Oh Christian," said Ana in a voice that trembled with her unshed tears, "You need to stop hating yourself. I fell for you hard and fast all those years ago. I do not regret it. You're an easy man to love. But in order for you to have love in your life, of any kind, you have to start loving yourself. Yeah, you hurt me those years ago, but you did it to protect me. There is so much about you that's good and pure. You have to learn to accept that. Learn to see the good in you."

"Ana, I don't deserve love. I'm messed up. I treated you like crap. I slept with other women. How can you say that there is good in me?"

"Because Christian, I see it. Kate and Elliot sees it, Mia, Grace, Carrick, Taylor, Gail, and Ros. We all see it. You are good. You do some much for so many. You think you're messed up and don't deserve love but you do, more than most. You had a shit start at life and that bitch Elena didn't help matters either. But at the end of the day, you bend over backwards for those you love. You killed someone for me Christian! Killed! That goes to show how far you would go for those you love. And while you slept with other women pisses me the fuck off, I could, maybe, at some very distant point in the future maybe forgive you for it," said Ana with a wink.

In all honesty, while she hated that he didn't come for her but decided to stay and try to heal himself with drunken sex, a small part of her understood his warped motives. He was trying his best to forget her. Move on. His self-hate and insecurities was the real force that drove them apart and the only way that they could be something in the future was if Christian dealt with that. Delved into his issues. Explore the hatred he feels towards himself. Finally talk about Elena and his mother. His burial of his emotions had led him to where he was today. He didn't face his feeling. He buried them and let the negativity of it all consume him. Christian Grey needed a lot of healing.

"Christian, I think you should start seeing Flynn again. You need to talk about Elena. About your mother. About Larson. You need to stop burying all your issues."

"Ana, I can't. I can't talk about those things. I just can't," he said in a voice that made Ana's heart break. He was scared. He knew that talking about it would bring up feelings that he worked so hard to bury. He would have to face all those demons that he ran hard and fast from. He would have to admit to all the things he and Elena did. Admit to feeling that untold satisfaction in seeing the life leave Larson's eyes. Admit to being glad that his mother was dead.

"Christian. I am telling you that you need to face all you shit in order to put it behind you. I am going to be here for you. No matter what. I want to be your friend Christian. We both have stuff to figure out. Then and only then can we entertain the possibility of being more. Being a couple."

"I can only promise to go see Flynn. But I'm a lost cause Ana. Not even John could help me. He tried. For years. And yet here I am, still the shell of a man that destroys anything he touches."

"Christian Trevelyan Grey, I am saying this once and only once. You did not destroy me. You may have broken my heart but I am back. And badder than ever. Don't you dare say that about yourself! Now get off your ass and call Flynn. I think twice a week should be sufficient!"

With those words, Ana collected her things and left.

Christian sat on the sofa for a while, staring out at Seattle. Night had fallen. They had been in his office for almost 3 hours. The Chinese that Andrea ordered was left untouched. Both didn't have any appetite. The conversation was much too deep and heavy to just pause for food. Ana had said that she was willing to try being friends. What kind of friend would he be? Could he really be what she needed? She claimed to see the good in him. But did it really exist? Could he really become the man that she could love? Could he be the man that Ana could fall for again? Could he make her happy?

With a heavy sigh, he lifted himself off his place on the sofa. He then walked to his liquor cabinet and emptied it. He place all his bottles, decanters, wines, scotch and brandy and placed them in a box. He sealed them then called Taylor, telling him to get rid of it as well as the ones in his apartment. He was through burying his sorrows in alcohol. He was going to take the steps he needed to take years ago. He was going to get help. He was going to heal.

He pulled out his blackberry and dialled the number he somehow always remembered. John was his biggest confidant for years. Ana was right. He needed to face his demons. Close the door to his past in order to have a future.

The phone rang twice before the British voice came through the speakers, "John Flynn speaking,"

"Hey John. It's me, Christian. I think that I need to see you again."

"Christian Grey, it's about time," chuckled John. "Call my office in the morning, we'll schedule you in."

"Thank you John. See you soon," he whispered.

"Christian, I am proud of you," said John which caused Christian to laugh. John always supported him. Even when he was a royal pain in the ass.

Christian then left his office. He finally felt like things were falling into place for him. Ana was back and was willing to explore a friendship with him. He and Elliot made peace. He was ready to face his demons. There was only one person he needed to talk to and he felt like doing that now.

With that thought in mind, he met Taylor in GEH lobby and told him of his plans. The drive was long and Christian was nervous. He had been a rotten person and he could only hope that he would be forgiven. He took a deep breath and walked to the door. He knocked steadily. Three years ago he would just walk in. But he didn't deserve that privilege anymore.

Grace opened the door with a loud gasp upon seeing her son. She had gotten used to seeing him at obligatory social events. He had distanced himself from her ever since his failed wedding day. She had tried going to him, surprise at the office, offered to take him to lunch but something always came up, a meeting, a conference call, a business lunch. She missed her son and seeing him on her doorstep looking sad, broken, guilty, nervous and scared all but broke her heart.

She quickly pulled him into her arms and let her tears run free. She sobbed uncontrollably as she positioned her on his chest, something he never once allowed. Her tears soaked his suit jacket but he didn't seem to care. He stroked her back, her hair and let her cry. She felt the tears hit her hair and with a gasp, realised her son was also in tears. Her always in control, strong son was crying with her. She missed her baby so much. Her lost boy was home and she couldn't be happier.

She pulled back from him and took his hand. She led him into the house. Neither one had said anything but they didn't need to. At least not yet. Carrick jumped to his feet upon seeing his crying wife and son, no doubt fearing the worst. Christian hung his head in shame. He had really messed up. How could he have pushed the only people that cared about so far out of his life? Not only did he hurt Ana, he hurt his parent, his siblings. It was a wonder that Taylor and Gail remained in his cluster fuck of a life!

"Mom, dad, I'm so so sorry. I've been a crap son to you. You didn't deserve the way that I treated you. You did nothing but love me, accept me, give me a home and I did nothing but push you away? Would you ever be able to forgive me?" Christian said in a shaky voice.

He watched as his mother moved into his father's arms. Their love was something Christian always admired. They may fight every once in a blue moon but at the end of the day, the only thing that mattered was the two of them. They loved, trusted and cared about each other so much, it was easy to see. Theirs was a love that he aspired to have. He wanted that with Ana.

"Three years Christian! Three whole years! That was how long I had to watch your mother cry herself to sleep!" began Carrick. Immediately Christian's heart sank. He had hurt them too much.

"You don't call or visit. We only see you every once in a while when you have no other option but to attend some event. You ignore your brother and your sister. You treat us like we never loved you, never gave you all you could need. You rejected us?" Continued Carrick in a soft voice.

Christian opened his mouth to apologise again but stopped when Carrick held up the hand not wrapped around his wife's shoulders.

"Like I said, we're the ones who loved you. And son, we always will. Just don't hurt us like that again," finished Carrick which had Christian's eyes flying up to meet his. His knees had gone weak. His father just welcomed him back.

"Christian, no matter what you do you will always be my son," said Grace. "From the moment I saw you, you were mine and there is nothing you can do to change that. It's my job as your mother to forgive and forget. Unconditional love. I signed those adoption papers years ago and made you mine. The past is the past. All that matters is you are here now. You're home."

"Mom, I'm so sorry. So so sorry," said Christian as he was pulled into the arms of his parents. They were careful not to touch his back or chest but for the first time, he wanted their touch. He needed it. He needed to show them how much they meant to him. How much he loved them.

He pushed all thoughts of the pain aside and gripped both their hands in either of his. He pulled Grace's hand first and slowly moved it towards his chest. Closing his eyes, he placed her tiny, well-manicured hand over his heart.

He gasped as the heat of it seared him but he pressed firmly against it when she tried to pull away. She was crying now. So was Carrick as Christian did the same to him. He pulled Carrick's hand and laid it next to Grace's. His parents were finally touching him. He felt the pain, but he felt their love to.

He had taken a huge step. He was finally getting to a place where he could feel a little contentment. He was taking baby steps, but he was well on his way to building the future he saw in his mind. A future where he was really and truly happy. Where he and Ana were together. Where he had children with her, grandchildren. Where he was the son his parents could be proud of, in every aspect, not just his business ventures. Where Elliot and Mia were glad to spend time with him. A future where he was both loved and able to give love.

Christian Grey was healing, slowly, but surely.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope I gave you a little insight into Christian's self loathing. <strong>

**Review Please.**

**I intend to post the next chapter ASAP. **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N : Hello all! I'm so sorry for the wait. I've been really busy for the past few days. I really had every intention of updating, I just didnt have the time.**

**So here is the latest chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy.**

**xoxo**

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>GREY, STEELE HOT AND HEAVY AGAIN!?<strong>_

_**That's right Seattle, our favourite sexy billionaire may be finally off the market. Reports are in that Christian Grey and his former flame, the one and only Anastasia Steele may be back on. If you recall, the couple were well on their way to tying the knot when Christian Grey himself called off the wedding. According to our sources, Christian admitted to the then fresh out of college student that he didn't love her. Our camp was able to get a copy of the letter that he wrote to break it off with the English Literature Major. That's right folks, he didn't even do the deed in person!**_

_**Our sources now confirm that the duo is back on. Christian has finally admitted to loving her and they are now working on their relationship. Anastasia, who prefers to be called Ana, reportedly moved back to Seattle just because of this reconciliation. Our sources recently captured pictures of the gorgeous couple. Christian was seen arriving at her apartment on Sunday night, appearing intoxicated. The couple was then seen emerging from Ana's new apartment bright and early Monday morning. **_

_**GREY STEELES LOVE?**_

_**Anastasia Steele is back in town. The former flame of the prince of Seattle, Christian Grey has returned home after living in New York for the past 3 years, our sources confirm. According to our investigations, Grey has convinced the brunette to move back to town and date him again with some very expensive incentives. He recently purchased a new apartment in Bellevue for her, which he was seen leaving on several occasions, all in a different set of clothing. Can someone say walk of shame? Ana was also spotted driving a brand new Aston Martin, when she's not being driven around by the chauffeur hired by Mr. Grey. If all these perks weren't enough, Ana has reportedly been given a job as an Editor in the newly bought and renamed Grey Publishing.**_

_**Is Christian Grey overcompensating for something or is Anastasia Steele milking their relationship for all its worth? **_

_**We'll keep you posted on their hot and heavy romance.**_

Jose Rodriquez ripped the wretched articles from the papers. His hands shook. He was seeing red. How could she? How could she return to him? He was a worthless piece of shit who only hurt her. Over and over again. What did that prick have that he didn't? It couldn't be the money, at least not anymore. Christian had practically given him 2 million dollars. So what was it about Christian Grey that drove Ana to him? It was like a moth to a flame. She just couldn't help herself could she?

Jose sat back and stared at the pictures of the brunette who he couldn't help but love. Everything she did drew him in. He could easily recall the day he first saw her. They were both 18 and running late to class when they literally collided with each other. And that was all it took. She looked at him with a shy smile and a rushed out apology and he had fallen for her. She had run off to her class but he just stood there, staring at the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on.

Over the years, their friendship grew and he had gotten used to being the one that she counted on. He was her best friend. It sucked that they weren't more, although he tried on countless occasions to get out of that dreaded friend zone, but she had kept him at an arm's length in that regard. They spent a lot of time together though and his feelings for her just grew. He quickly grasped at any moment to spend with her. He even stomached time with the dreadful blonde Kate just to be around Ana. He started studying more, spending as much time in the library, just to be with her. He loved her and there was no getting over his feelings.

Then came that horrid day. She met that prick. And he lost her. Forever. It was all Kate's fault, sending her to interview him. He knew something was different the moment she returned. She looked different. She was nice to him, as always, but he could tell that something was vastly different with her. He met the bastard just a few days later and he didn't fail to notice how Ana looked at the mighty Christian Grey, or the way he looked at her. Like a man starved. The rich, obnoxious prick at his sights set on Ana and it appeared Ana was all for it.

The two started spending every waking hour together. And he watched as the only person he ever loved, fall in love with another man. A man who would only hurt her, leave her, cheat on her. The first night she didn't come home almost drove him mad, thinking of all the ways that the bastard was touching her. He didn't deserve that honour, seeing Ana in that way. He didn't deserve to kiss her, love her, and be with her in every way that he wanted to be with her. He didn't deserve to see her naked body, see her give herself up to him completely. Christian Grey didn't deserve Anastasia Steele.

A few months later they said that they were getting engaged. They were getting married! She barely knew him yet she was planning a wedding just six months after meeting him. Jose couldn't stand it one bit. Seeing them together. Seeing Christian hold her in his arms and kiss her whenever he wanted to. Seeing her smile at him, reach out and hold him, pass her fingers through his hair. Seeing them together made him sick and he was so happy when the wedding was called off.

Larson had come into his life just 2 months after Ana and Christian had started dating. He guessed being best friends with Seattle's richest mogul', girlfriend made you recognizable by some people. Richard Larson, if that was his real name had promised that Jose would get Ana if Jose helped him to get to Christian. He also promised him 5 million dollars. Jose had only gotten 2 million and Ana had left Seattle. To say he was short changed would be an understatement. He didn't even know where Larson had gone to, of if he was even still alive!

Larson had paid him to follow Ana. And wherever Ana was, Grey was always close behind. It was so easy for Larson to get close to Grey, despite all the hired guns he had within arm's reach. Getting those pictures of Ana and reporting all Christian's moves back to Richard was easy. No one suspected him. He and Ana always spent time together. So his need to be around her was nothing out of the ordinary, although he knew Grey hated his and Ana's friendship. He knew that Grey tried to convince Ana to end their friendship but he took comfort in the fact that Ana was adamant that they remain friends. He also didn't fail to notice that the Luke guy always had his eye on him and almost always positioned himself so that he was between both him and Ana.

The night of the rehearsal dinner drove him to the point of no return. Larson had lied to him. He hadn't helped one bit in helping him to get Ana. She was marrying Grey and she seemed ready to give herself to him. So Jose took matters into his own hands. He drank a lot that night and the next thing he knew, he was begging her to run away with him. She had flat out refused and demanded that he leave. The next thing he knew, the wedding was called off, Ana had left and Christian was dating a slew of women. Larson had kept up his regular payments, but it stopped just under a year ago. And he had absolutely no idea as to where Ana had fled to. Kate and Ray had flat out refused to tell him where she was. He expected that shit from Kate but Ray? Ray always liked him, or so he thought. He could only take comfort in the fact that Ana and Christian were no longer together.

Until now. She returned and went back to him. She took him back!

But she would eventually see reason. Anastasia Steele would come to love him.

He didn't have her. But he will. And soon.

Later that week, Kate, Elliot, Ana, Christian, Mia and Ethan were on route to Grace's and Carrick's for dinner. They were officially celebrating Kate and Elliot's upcoming wedding now that the prodigal son Christian was back and willing to be a part of the festivities again. It killed Grace that he missed so much but it touched her that Elliot was only willing to go through with everything once he and Christian made up. It spoke volumes of their relationship. As it did about Kate and Elliot's relationship. The fact that Kate was willing to wait until the brother's patched things up told Grace that Kate was definitely there to stay. She was so glad that her eldest baby found love. And for it be such a tough little cookie like Kate, it couldn't make her any happier.

Ana had actively avoided Christian since their talk on Tuesday. She had lied to him when she said she needed time to figure out herself. She did need to figure out herself but only when it came to her interactions with Christian. The real reason for her saying no to him was that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to trust him, or any man for that matter. Ray was the only man she could count on without any trace of doubt. While Elliot had her back through everything, he was first and foremost Christian's brother. When push comes to shove, Elliot could always leave her. As would Ethan. His loyalties were now with Mia. They both loved her like a sister but she would never be blood to them.

She knew Christian had his first session with Flynn earlier in the day. It was no doubt a heavy session, one where she was sure Flynn would have had to coax Christian into talking. That was definitely not a good way to start a weekend. But, she was so glad that he was taking the right steps towards bringing the man she knew and loved to the surface. He didn't believe that he was a good, loving man who deserved all the love in the world, but she saw it. The fact that he was taking the steps to become that person she had fallen in love with pleased her immensely.

The group arrived in Bellevue with seconds of each other. Mia was quarrelling with Ethan for driving with the top down in her Audi convertible. Mia tried to haphazardly fix her hair before smoothing her purple, lace, form fitting cocktail dress. Her black strappy heels completed her outfit. She looked beautiful but Ethan couldn't get her to believe it. He looked just as good in his tan trousers with his baby blue shirt and dark blue blazer. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and whispered, "Relax babe, your hair's perfect," before escorting her to the door.

Kate and Elliot were just a few seconds behind them. They drove up the stone driveway in Elliot's new Range Rover, an apology gift from Christian. Elliot had actively refused it for all of two seconds before he was handed the keys. All arguments ended and the two brothers took the vehicle for a test drive much to Kate's amusement.

The couple were looking just as gorgeous. Kate also wore a form fitting dress. It was a black and white number, the heart shape black bodice moulding to her impressive chest. The rest of it was made of white lace, a flowered pattern flowing down her body and stopping just at her knees. She rocked the outfit with equally impressive killer stilettos. Elliot wore a simple black dress pants and blue shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He too looked breath-taking as he helped Kate out the car, stealing a grope of her ass as he did so. His hand remained firmly planted on her derriere as he escorted her to the door where Mia, Ethan and Grace stood.

Ana also pulled up just as Kate and Elliot did. She was glad to drive herself once more. Sawyer had followed her of course but he continued driving towards the guest house when Taylor and Christian pulled up just 2 seconds after.

Ana was a stunner in her black ensemble. The bodice was low cut, very low cut and almost sheer. Christian felt his heart beat quicken when she swung her impressive legs out her Aston Martin. The sexy pumps she wore just accentuated her calves. The skirt of her dress ended about mid-thigh and its shiny design stood out in the fast approaching night. She looked damn fine and Christian couldn't help but stare as he assisted her out of the car. It didn't fail his notice that she avoided eye contact with him.

He looked mouth-watering good in his jeans, sweater and blazer combo. Christian Grey in any outfit was hot but Christian Grey in a pair of well tailor jeans did things to Ana. It cupped his ass perfectly and made her think very naughty thoughts. The white shirt and grey sweater made him look less intimating and more the 32 year old he was.

The six beautiful people hugged and greeted Grace before proceeding to the living room for drinks that Carrick prepared. They kept that in mind as they all slowly sipped, none wanted to get drunk so early on.

Dinner was served, and as predicted, everything was delicious. The balsamic glazed lamb chops was orgasmic. Conversation had all but stopped as the eight of them were too engrossed in the delicious food to keep up any conversations. Everyone then sat around the table laughing, talking and drinking coffee for a while.

Christian felt so much at ease with his family now. Everyone was laughing, and just having fun. Kate, Mia and his mom jumped from topic to topic about the wedding. He didn't think it took so much to decide on just flowers, but those three proved him wrong. Ethan and Elliot were arguing about some football game he hadn't cared to watch with Carrick. He just sat back and watched them but his thoughts kept going to Ana who hadn't uttered a word to him all night. She chatted back and forth with both groups, putting her two cents in whenever she felt she needed to. Not once had she looked at him other than when Gretchen had come to serve the lamb. She narrowed her eyes at her but that was it.

He however couldn't take his eyes off her. She was so beautiful, it made his heart hurt. The little things she did drove him mad with want. The way she would push her hair behind her ear or bite her lip and cock her head to one side. The way she would smile indulgently at Elliot before using her very smart mouth and shooting him down on his opinion on the game from the night before. Everything about her drove him in.

He hadn't notice that he was staring until Mia nudged him in the ribs causing him to jump and hiss in pain, "What?" he snarled.

It was then that he noticed everyone was watching him and clearly waiting for him to say something.

When he didn't reply immediately, Elliot said, "So bro, you in, or out? These fine babes and Mia wants to go to that club you bought last year?"

"Um…what? Um Yeah, sure," stuttered Christian. He pulled out his cell and quickly made plans with Taylor.

The six of them bid goodbye to Grace and Carrick and all separated into pairs of 2. Ana, not wanting to go by herself, swallowed her pride and approached Christian. "Can I ride with you? I don't want to go by myself."

Christian broke out his panty dropping smile and all but beamed at her. He couldn't think of anything else he want more in that moment. He opened his door for her while making arrangements with Reynolds over the phone to collect her car and drive it home for her.

The silence in the vehicle was awkward. They both had lots to say but neither wanted to be the first to talk.

"So, how was the rest of your week?" Christian said as an ice breaker. He hadn't seen her since Tuesday when they had the mother of all talks. It was now Friday. He missed her!

"It was okay. I'm meeting with some potential new authors next week. I think it's really going to help open up our client base and eventually, a customer base."

Christian smiled at her. He loved watching her talk about something she loved. The passion in her eyes, the love in her voice, it was evident. It was so easy to get caught up in anything she said when she, herself, so caught up.

"That's amazing Ana. I know you're going to make GP into THE publishing house."

Ana smiled at him, pleased that he had that much confidence in her. "Don't worry, you'll get a break down of all my plans next Thursday during our fortnightly meeting."

It was easy to talk business with him. She loved what she did and he loved what he did. He understood her passion more than anyone else.

"I saw Flynn today." He whispered when both had gone silent.

"That's good, isn't it?" she replied.

"Yeah, it is. I just didn't say much. We basically sat and stared at one another. It's harder than I thought it would be, exploring my emotions. Delving into my past."

"Christian, I know you. If anyone can do this, it's you," she replied, meaning every word. Christian Grey was one of the strongest people she knew. She knew, without any trace of doubt what so ever, that he could rise to this challenge and overcome his fear and explore his inner demons.

"Thank you. That means a lot." He replied.

"It's the truth," she said with a shrug.

They arrived at club shortly after. He should have known paparazzi would be there! They were always there after all. Always hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Today however, they were getting much more. There was already speculation that he and Ana were back together and now that they were arriving together, it would no doubt be all over social media within minutes!

He got out of the car first, with both Taylor and Sawyer flanking him as he leaned in to help Ana out. Elliot, Kate, Mia and Ethan were already inside. Ana gingerly slid out the car, careful as her skirt rode up. She didn't want to flash anyone so she was beyond grateful when Christian positioned his body in front of her. She got out and adjusted her clothing before putting her arm in his. The camera flashes were blinding. She couldn't see anything. Christian steered her towards the VIP entrance, with Sawyer flanking her and hopefully blocking anyone from getting any full on shots of her.

The club was crowded. Sweaty, grinding bodies were all around them as soon as they entered. Christian led them to the lounge area designed exclusively for him. There was another VIP area for other VIP guests but this area was his and his alone. In fact, this was the first time he was utilizing it since purchasing the club. The fact that Ana was here with him made it all the better.

The girls quickly ordered drinks. Ana quickly ordered a mai tai while Kate and Mia both ordered martinis. Ethan and Elliot went with a beer while Christian stuck to his no drinking plan. He ordered a coke.

The DJ was in full swing. When Major Lazer ft. Ariana Grande & Machel Montano - All My Love, the remix came on, the girls just couldn't sit still. They were already tipsy after having ordered more drinks. They were up and dancing much to the amusement of the men.

They couldn't stand just dancing by themselves in the lounge though and before they knew it, they were on the main dance floor grinding away to each song that came on.

Christian stood at the balcony, enthralled as Ana danced. She was breathtakingly beautiful. So sexy. A goddess in everything she did. He couldn't take it anymore. When Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous ft. Timbaland came on, Christian couldn't help himself. He approached her and pulled her flush against him where she proceeded to grind up against him, her perfect derriere grinding on his very hard, very prominent erection.

Ana felt him watching her as she danced so it was no surprise when she felt the warmth of his hands on her hips. She admitted to dancing a bit more sexily, raunchier just because she knew he was watching her. When he started dancing with her, she revelled in it. Christian Grey could dance! His body folded over hers possessively as his hands moved up her body. She reached back and curled her arm around his neck as she continued to dance.

As The Pussycat Dolls - Buttons ft. Snoop Dogg came on, his hands moved from her waist to her thighs as he bit gently into her shoulders. He bunched the hem of her dress up as he gripped her thighs roughly. Her breathing came in short pants as she turned in his arms and straddled on of his legs and proceeded to grind her aching core against his thigh. He pushed her hair to one side and attached his lips to her neck and sucked greedily. His hands planted themselves firmly on her round ass as he let her grind on him. She threw her head back as his lips moved down and from her neck and travelled down towards her cleavage.

Elliot and Kate had long stopped dancing and their eyes were now glued to the couple who were very close to having sex on the dancefloor. They were torn between breaking them up and letting them come to the realisation that they were in public themselves. Deciding against letting them get arrested, Kate approached them slowly and said, "Do I have to go then some cold water to hose you two down with?"

Ana eyes flew open as Christian released her, from his lips at least. Ana was grateful that he kept his arms around her, for she would have surely collapsed. Was she that drunk? She didn't have that much to drink to behave this indecent in public. Did she?

They returned to the lounge, both out of breath. They were forced to sit together on one of the sofas as the other two couples took up the other available seats. Christian, sensing Ana's discomfort and embarrassment reached over and said in her ear, "Don't be embarrassed, that was hot."

Ana gasped at him and said, "What? That was mortifying."

"Trust me Ana that was hot!" he said as he reached for her hand. "Here, feel this," he continued as he placed her small hand on his denim clad erection. Ana gasped as she realised his intention. Her eyes darted to the other couples but they were too caught with their significant others to care about them.

Ana didn't know if it was the alcohol, or if it was the sexual tension coming off them in waves, but she scooted closer to Christian, and with a bold hand, started caressing him over his pants. His hand reached down to hold hers in place as he moved his lips to her ear and started sucking on her lobe.

No matter what, the chemistry they shared was always palpable. They could have the mother of all fights but it would always end with them having hot, dirty sex. All she had to do was look at him and he would feel like throwing her down and burying himself in her over and over again. Their lust for one another was never the problem. It was their trust and confidence in their relationship that was the sore spot for them.

The couple was so engrossed in each other, that neither one noticed the pair of eyes that were on them since they stepped foot in the club. He lurked in the dark corners, ensuring that he wasn't seen by the hired guns. He looked different so he doubted they would recognise him anyway. He had grown out his hair and was now sporting a beard. And his eyes were now bloodshot from the drugs he had rapidly become addicted to. He didn't expect to see them here but he was both pleased and pissed when they showed up. He was just here to pick up someone to fuck in the alley, to get the edge of. Seeing those pictures of Ana this past week, knowing that she was back and living here again did things to him. He was frustrated as fuck. And horny. And angry. He needed to be sated. So he watched her, from a distance.

He watched as the beautiful Ana leaned over to whisper in Grey's ears. He watched as she boldly caressed him and how he revelled in her touch. He watched as Grey pushed his hand up her thigh and sneak his fingers up her clothes. He watched as she bit into his shoulder and bit on his earlobe.

In the dark corner of the club, he watched.

He watched and yearned for her.

He wanted her.

And he'll be damned if anyone stopped him!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Review please :)**

**And I updated my pinterest page if you all are interested **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello All. **

**First and foremost, I must apologize for the very long wait. I didn't mean to keep you waiting so long. Fear not, to those of you who enquired. I have not abandoned the story, and I have absolutely no intention to do so whatsoever! I had a bit of writer's block, so it was a little bit difficult at first to get this chapter out! But alas, my muse came to me this evening and I wrote this! Also, if I have any Caribbean/ Trinidadian readers, you guys know how difficult it is to get anything done during Carnival time. TOO MANY DISTRACTIONS!**

**Secondly, I would like to thank those of you who stood up for my story and pointed out the blatant act of plagiarism by a fellow author. Thank you, especially to mitzijem for first pointing it out to me. **

**Also, thank you for all the favourites and follows. You guys are amazing.**

**So here is my latest installment. It was a tear jerker for me (so be warned!)**

**As always, review and excuse my typos. **

** xoxo**

* * *

><p>How could she let him touch her like that? How could she go back to him? He didn't deserve her. Ana was an angel. Everything about her was pure and innocent. Until Christian Grey came into her life. Now she was tainted. Now her mind was corrupt. He had to save her! He had to remove the evil from her life. Anastasia needed a saviour. And Jose Rodriquez was going to rescue her from the devil that was Grey.<p>

Meanwhile, Ana, Kate and Mia had returned to the dance floor. Ana needed the time away from Christian before she threw him down on the lounge floor and had her naughty way with him. She somehow always managed to let her inhibitions go when she was around him. She was practically giving him a hand job in front of his sister for God's sake. Not that she didn't enjoy having his hands on her, seeking her now wet, aching core, but logic told her to wait.

It was inevitable that they would have sex eventually. Christian Grey had that control over her body that no one else ever had. He just had to look at her and she would find herself wanting him. He was an expert and he did things to her that she couldn't describe. She knew that people longed for the type of chemistry that they shared and the sexual tension that sizzled between them. But the logical part of her knew that it was wise to wait. Especially after her first sexual encounter in college.

She remembered it like it was yesterday. Scott was just a friend. They never shared any real connection but everyone else around her was having sex, hooking up, getting laid. She was never one to submit to peer pressure before, and she really had no intention of giving it up, but, somehow she did. She recalled getting drunk at a party that Kate took her too. She recalled seeing Scott and going into a bedroom with him. She recalled making out with him. Then one thing led to another and the next thing she knew, she was having sex with Scott Kleypas. To say it was a let-down, would be an understatement. If she hadn't experienced sex with Christian Grey, she would have gone all her life thinking sex was overrated. Scott wasn't really a good lay. Which was a shame, considering the fact that he was decently hung.

Kate had convinced her that sex was better than her first experience. Most girls first times weren't what she had read about in her romance novels, so she gave Scott a second chance and, miraculously, he managed to bring her to orgasm. So she give him a few more tries until she really couldn't stand it anymore. He wasn't bad. But he wasn't good either. And it felt like too much work for her for the few minutes of pleasure that he brought her. If he managed to anyway. So she lost her virginity and a pretty decent friend in one semester of her third year of college.

She didn't blame it on the sex. It was definitely her poor judgment that led to that horrible time of her life. Which is why she certainly wasn't about to make any hasty decisions and just jump into bed now. She wanted to take her time where Christian was concerned. She wasn't about to let lust control her. She wanted to do everything right this time around. She wasn't going to give her heart easily. That pain she felt when he broke it was far too much to bear and she couldn't repeat it. So this time around, her guard was up, her eyes her opened and her legs were closed.

Christian watched her as she danced. She was such an enchantress. Her beauty was what first captured his attention all those years ago, but it was her quick wit, her intelligent mind, her kind heart, her gentle touch and her generous, loving persona that kept him coming back to her. She was such a bright spot in his life. Just her presence made him happy. She made him see life in a different way. He had come to appreciate his family because of her. She was the only person who knew every dark aspect of his life, yet she chose to be his. She chose him. She said yes to him. He however, hadn't chosen her. He left her.

His first session with Flynn had made him realise how cowardly he was with regards to her. He wasn't the least bit surprised that Flynn chose to talk about her, their failed engagement and his determination to fix himself as their first session.

"So Christian, I have to ask, are you here for a few sessions just to get Ana back?" questioned the old man with the heavy British accent. Christian had known for far too long. When you started thinking of your shrink as a second father figure in your life, you knew that you had known that shrink for far too long!

"No John," said Christian as he narrowed his eyes. He wasn't going to admit that it had occurred to him to just see Flynn for a few sessions, made sure Ana knew that he was seeing him then stop when he got her back. But he knew deep down, that it would never work. In order for his relationship with Ana to work, or his life in general, to be easier, or at least less fucked up, he had to be consistent with his actions. He had to be committed to being better. Not just for Ana's sake, but his as well.

"I'm here for the long haul. I've got a shit load of stuff to fix in my life." Came Christian's dry reply.

John rubbed his hands together as he said, "Ok, let's get started then."

Christian recalled how hard it was to talk about his feeling, his fears, and his insecurities. He was sure John was on the verge of throwing something at him. It really was like pulling teeth when it came to his first session, especially when John asked the one question he was dreading.

"Christian, would you have found another reason to call off the wedding? Do you think there is any truth in Ana's statement, that you called off the wedding to protect her physically, but yourself emotionally?"

Christian licked his now dry lips and reached out for the bottle of water on the table between them. He knew that John would have asked this. He just didn't want to answer it. He was scared to admit it to himself.

"Honestly, John, I don't know. I wonder about it every single day."

"Why?"

"I don't know! I love her but is that enough? Would she have realised that she deserved more. I mean I loved her as much as I could then. But even then, I didn't give her my whole heart. She knew things about me that even you don't know yet at the same time, I held so much of myself back from her. I loved her. God knows I did. But what if that wasn't enough? What if she woke up and realised how much of a fuck up I was? I could have given her anything she asked for, bought her anything, and carried her anywhere. So why couldn't I give her myself completely?"

"You tell me. Why is it you think she would have left? What is it about yourself that you think is so repulsive that even Ana wouldn't be able to take?"

"I dunno, she says I'm stubborn, I keep things from her, I'm a workaholic, I curse like a sailor. There are a lot of things I do that can drive her away."

"Christian, she knows that you're stubborn. But so is she. You may say workaholic, but everyone else sees a driven, successful young man. The cursing you may want to work on though," said John with a laugh before continuing, "But these are all stuff that Ana knows about you. She knew it about you and chose to say yes and be with you."

"She didn't say yes the other day when I asked her to be with me," said Christian petulantly.

"So, what is it about yourself that she may not be able to handle?"

Christian took a deep breath before he answered. Only one answer came to mind. He knew that no matter how much Ana may love him, this one particular issue was a lot for her to handle. Especially since he himself was still having problems confronting it as a major issue. If he hadn't met Ana, he would have thought nothing about it. He would have gone his entire life believing that nothing was wrong with what happened to him.

"She may not be able to accept that I still can't see Elena as a rapist," said Christian in a whisper.

"Why is that? Why don't you consider her a rapist?" question Flynn. Christian knew that the question held no judgement. Flynn wasn't asking him to get an answer for himself, he was asking for Christian to admit his feeling aloud.

"If Elena raped me then I become the victim."

John nodded as he said, "And?" He waved his hands as he urged Christian to continue.

"And, I am not a victim," said Christian with such determination that John immediately knew the root of Christian's problem. Everything he had done so far, all of his actions, denying the rape, denying his birth mother's existence, running from love, giving up on Ana, turning his back on his family, giving up on therapy was to prove to himself that he wasn't weak. He wasn't a victim. He cut himself from anyone or anything that triggered feeling of vulnerability. Love left him vulnerable. It as a weakness. He turned his back on it before it could cause him pain.

Christian was pulled back to reality when Elliot nudged him. He hadn't realised that he was basically staring into space. He no doubt looked like a crazy person to his brother and Ethan.

The boys watched the girls dance. Each had their eye on the woman they loved. The only difference was that Ethan and Elliot could just go on the dance floor and join their girl for a dance without the fear of rejection. He couldn't. He didn't know why Ana had danced with him earlier but, there was no guarantee that she would do it again.

His thoughts were interrupted when he saw some random guy approaching her. He saw red when the guy leaned down and started whispering in her ear. His fists clenched when he saw Ana push him off her but he just leaned into her more. His hands gripped her waist and he started grinding into her, while Ana fought out of his hold. He saw the fear and anger in her eyes as he surged to his feet.

He hadn't realised that he was moving. He hadn't realised that he was approaching the guy but the next thing he knew, he was behind the prick who had the audacity to put his arm around Ana and he tapped him on his bulky shoulder. His swung his arm and the guy was on the ground, his hands cupping his bleeding nose.

"The lady said NO! Keep your filthy fucking hands off her!" he said as he shook his hand out. His knuckles were bleeding but he didn't care. How dare the prick touch her!

Ana screamed out as Taylor and Sawyer rushed to diffuse the situation. He pulled Ana into his arms. She was trembling. She held onto him and buried his face into his chest. Taylor and a bouncer lifted the man from his back and escorted him from the club while Sawyer followed everyone back to the lounge area.

They waited for Taylor to return. He came back just a few moments later, looking stressed. He quickly approached Christian and whispered in his ear, "Sir, we have a situation. Paparazzi have blocked the entrances as well as the emergency and back exit. Someone must have tipped them off that you're here with Miss Steele. The only way out, is through them."

"Fuck!" bellowed Christian.

He looked at Ana's trembling form in his arms and looked at Taylor. She needed to get her out of here.

"Ok, Ethan and Elliot will cover the girls. Me, you and Sawyer will cover Ana. Where are Reynolds and Ryan?" he questioned.

"They just arrived. Prescott is with them Sir."

"Good. Have Prescott drive. Ryan and Reynold will cover our front and back. Is there anything I'm forgetting?"

"Sir, with all due respect, you're the most obvious target. You shouldn't be so exposed."

"Taylor, I don't give a fuck right now. Just keep Ana safe. If it will make your job easier, I will stay close to you. Just don't let go off Ana. No matter what."

He turned to Ethan and Elliot to fill them in on the situation while Taylor called Reynolds and Ryan inside.

Meanwhile, Jose was smiling. Christian Grey didn't know what was coming his way. He made a beeline for the exit. He had to retrieve it from his car. He needed the one thing that would remove Ana from the devil's clutches. He needed to get his gun.

The Grey Company were slowly making their way out the club. Ana was positioned directly in the middle of Sawyer, Taylor and Christian. Sawyer was so close to her, she felt the heat radiating off of him. Taylor was also very close to her, but he kept moving so that Christian's back was not exposed for more than two seconds. The three of them kept their hands on her at all times.

The flashes of the paparazzi was blinding. Their screams and shouts were deafening. There wasn't much room to move. They didn't even part ways for Elliot and Ethan who both held on to Kate and Mia tightly. They kept closing in on them. Shoves came from all sides. Reynolds pushed as much as he could, together with the bouncers from the club, but it was obvious that the paparazzi, as well as any admirers weren't scared of the threat of prison. As long as they got their pictures, their quotes, their glances of the alleged couple, they were happy. Their aggression and determination to see her, made Ana scared.

Jose relished in the chaos. The noise, the confusion, the crowd was just what he needed. He lifted his hand and aimed the gun. The devil didn't deserve her. He was going to save her.

Without a moment's hesitation, he fired, twice.

Christian's head whipped in the direction of the sound. He saw the gun. He saw Jose and the sadistic smile that flashed across his face. He didn't think before shoving Ana to the side.

The bullet hit skin. It found a target. Ana screamed out as Sawyer pulled her and covered her with his body. Christian collapsed as Taylor pulled his gun out and aimed it in the direction from which the bullets came. Jose was nowhere in sight. Ana struggled out of Sawyer's hold when she felt the wet, sticky feeling on her. Sawyer was hit in the arm. He tried to pull her back, but she was too fast. Ryan knelt before him as did Kate when Ana screamed at her to look after Luke.

She crawled over to Christian who lay on the floor bleeding from what appeared to be his stomach. The paparazzi had scattered. Some had remained to capture footage of the bleeding prince of Seattle. Others actually had some self-preservation.

Elliot, Taylor and Ana knelt over Christian. She took Elliot's jacket and held it to his abdomen. She didn't know where the bullet had penetrated. She felt the tears running down her cheeks. She heard her cries, but she wasn't aware that it was her.

"Please don't die Christian. Please please please. I love you. You can't die. I love you. I love you. You hear me?" she sobbed.

Christian heard it all. He wanted to shout it out to the world that he loved her, but he could find the strength. He wanted to wipe her tears away and hold her, comfort her, but he couldn't even open his eyes. He felt his strength fading and the last thing he heard was the sounds of approaching sirens.

Elliot watched as his brother passed out. He watched as Ana cried over his body and had to be physically lifted off his body for the paramedics to get to him. Mia stood crying in Ethan's arms as Kate moved back from Sawyer's body to let the paramedics to their jobs. Taylor was all over the place. Extra security and a man he knew as Welch was now standing around. The cops didn't look happy but Christian Grey was shot in the open. They didn't have to be happy. He pulled Ana to him as she fought with Ryan.

"He-he-he has to live. Elliot, I – I c-c-cant l-lo-lose him. Tell me he'll be a-a-alright. T-tell m-me he'll live."

"Ana, I'm scared too ok. But I know my brother. He's strong. He's a fighter!"

They watched as they lifted Christian and Sawyer into waiting ambulances.

Ana pulled herself out of Elliot's hold and approached Taylor.

"We're riding with him. Don't argue with me on this. We'll only waste time," she said in a surprisingly clear voice. Her hands were shaking and covered in his blood. Her knees were buckling and her blood was roaring in her ears.

Taylor nodded once at her. She approached the ambulance but turned back to Kate and Mia. They were holding each other. Kate was no doubt being the source of comfort for Mia. "Can one of you ride with Lukey? Tell him I love him. Tell him that if anything happens to him, I'll kill him myself."

Kate nodded as she put Mia in her brother's arms. Ethan held her as Kate climbed into the ambulance that already held Reynolds.

Elliot, Mia and Ethan then followed them in the waiting car. Prescott and Welch sat upfront, their faces expressionless. The press would no doubt be waiting at the hospital. Elliot pulled out his phone and dialled his mother. He didn't want her to hear this from anyone else. His hands were shaking. He just witnessed his baby brother getting shot. How would he ever forget this feeling? This fear?

"Grey residence, Grace speaking," came his mother's greeting.

"Mom," said Elliot on a sob.

"Elliot, darling, what is it? Are you ok? Your brother? Sister? What happened?"

"Christian was shot mom. He's on his way to the hospital. Sawyer too. Ana and Kate are riding with them."

Elliot was full on crying now. He felt the tears on his cheek.

"We're on our way," said Grace. Elliot could hear the tears in her voice. He heard his father ask, in the background, what happened, but he dropped his phone as the sobs shook his entire body. Mia was in a similar state. Ethan had tears running down his face as well. He was never close to Christian, but he knew that he was a good man. Seeing him interact with Mia was all he needed to know. Christian Grey loved his sister.

Two doctors were waiting for the ambulances when they pulled up at the hospital. They introduced themselves as Dr. Bridges and Dr. Stone. They separated and busied themselves into tending to the injured men. Ana held unto Kate as they stepped back to give the doctors room to work. Sawyer's injury wasn't as bad as Christian's. The bullet when through and through for him. They rushed him to X-ray however, to ensure that no fragments remained.

Christian was another story altogether. He was still bleeding and the bullet was lodged in his abdomen. The doctors called ahead to have an OR prepped. Ana saw her opportunity as the nurses prepped him for surgery.

She approached him and gripped his hand, "I Love you Christian. I want to spend the rest of my life with you baby. I want to be with you, share a life with you. Don't leave me. Don't die. Come back to me."

She whispered, "I love you," one more time into his hand as she kissed it. They wheeled him off to surgery as Ana watched. They pushed through the double doors as Ana stepped back and put her hand to her mouth. She was crying again. The only man she ever loved was being wheeled into surgery.

He was being rushed to surgery because he saved her.

He took a bullet meant for her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Review please. **

**And I will try to update in a more timely manner! **


End file.
